


Sun Still Rises

by Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Child Loss, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Stillbirth, natural birth, pregnancy loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:34:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 53,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelseafrew/pseuds/Chelsea%20Frew
Summary: Harry and Louis are expecting their first baby with great excitement when things go wrong, and they lose their baby. With the help of family, friends, and time, they work to fight their way through their grief to try to find happiness once again.





	Sun Still Rises

**Author's Note:**

> This story was never meant to be this long, but the idea stuck with me, and it turned into what you see below. It is an incredibly sad story--and pretty graphic in its depiction of what happens. It was incredibly sad to write. I have no personal experience with what Harry and Louis go through here, though I have friends and family who have gone through it. I did a fair amount of research, however, so hopefully everything rings true. Don't worry--there really is a happy ending! (The first baby name in the story was inspired by _Nashville_ , where one of the characters suffered a loss similar to Harry and Louis'. Thanks, brilliant _Nashville_!)
> 
> My thanks to my artist, [hrrytomlinson](http://hrrytomlinson.tumblr.com/), who did the beautiful art you see below. It was a pleasure to work with her, and I know you'll love her art as much as I do.
> 
> My thanks, also, to [Cori Lannam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/corilannam/pseuds/Cori%20Lannam), who cried through the beta read, but didn't stop and throw the manuscript at me at any time. She is the best BFF ever, and without our weekly writing sessions, this would never have gotten done.
> 
> Final thanks to the mods of the Big Bang for taking on this refugee from the other Big Bang. I truly appreciated their willingness to just fold me into their posting calendar so my story could reach the widest possible audience. Thanks so much!!
> 
> And now, on to the story....
> 
>  

The sun was on the verge of rising when Louis was awoken by the sensation that he was all alone in bed. A hand out to Harry's side confirmed it. The sheets were still a little warm, however. Harry hadn't been gone long.

Louis slipped out of bed and pulled on the jumper he'd been wearing right before bed. It was mid-February and bitterly cold out. Their old house was beautiful, but it was definitely prone to draughts.

He was pretty sure he knew where to find his husband. He padded out of the room and just a little way down the hallway to the room next door. Sure enough, sitting in their new white rocking chair, bathed only in the early morning light, was Harry.

He had turned the rocking chair so it faced the window, and he was staring out at the clouds in the brightening sky. Harry's hands rested on the top of his swollen belly and when Louis came up to stand beside him, he had a serene look on his face, one that said all was right with the world.

Louis lightly placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "You're up early," he commented softly.

"Couldn't sleep anymore. She's kicking up a storm, as usual," Harry explained, also keeping his voice low. "Decided to come in here, since it's finally all done."

They had just put the finishing touches on the nursery the day before. Liam and Niall had come over and helped build the last of the furniture and paint with stencils along the border. They'd decided to paint the room a pale yellow, and the stencils they'd chosen--anchors, boats, and ropes--added a nautical theme to the room. It was perfect.

"She'll be here in just three weeks," Harry said, rubbing a hand over the curve at the top of his stomach.

Louis reached a hand down to cover Harry's--and their baby. He could feel where she was kicking Harry so much, and Louis wondered if she didn't think she was at footie practice. "I can't wait to meet her."

"I was just imagining putting her down to sleep in this room," Harry told Louis. "It's so serene. So relaxing." It was funny that he used the word _serene_ after Louis had mentally attributed that adjective to the look on Harry's face just a moment ago.

"She'll love this room," Louis predicted. "How could she not?"

"Louis?" Harry asked, gazing into Louis' eyes. "Do you really think we're ready?"

Louis knew he meant more than just the nursery. "I think we're more than ready. We planned for this. And you…. You are going to be the best dad in the world." Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's lips.

"And you're going to be the best papa," Harry returned, sweet as ever.

The sun was almost completely up when Louis inquired, "So, how about some breakfast?"

They both felt the extra-hard kick from their baby girl at Harry's question, and they both laughed.

"Guess that's one vote for breakfast," Harry said with a grin. "I say yes, too."

"Then that's settled." Louis kissed Harry one more time. "I'll head down and start on some eggs and sausage. Come down when you're ready."

"Absolutely," Harry told him. "I'll be down in just a minute."

Louis rubbed a hand over Harry's shoulder, stopping briefly to squeeze it gently, before he headed out of the room.

He turned around when he hit the doorway, and he had to smile when he saw Harry looking down at his bump and heard him saying, "Ready for breakfast, peanut? It's the best meal Papa makes. We can't trust him with lunch and dinner. But, shhh. Don't tell him I said so."

Louis shook his head and chuckled. He'd get Harry back for that one. Later. Now, though, it was time for breakfast. The people he loved most in the world were hungry, and he couldn't have that for a moment longer.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

"Louis!" Harry's hushed whisper woke Louis from a deep sleep.

Even though the room was lit only from the moonlight coming through the windows, Louis cold see the panic on Harry's face. The fog of slumber fled Louis immediately. "What is it, Harry?"

Harry's hand was on his belly. "Something's not right. The baby isn't moving."

Louis calmed just a little. "Maybe she's just asleep. It is the middle of the night."

Harry shook his head violently. "No. She's usually up at this time. She always wakes me up. Something's wrong." He began to cry.

Louis quickly drew Harry into his arms to try to soothe him, but he seemed inconsolable, his sobs rippling through his entire body.

"Do you want to go to hospital?" Louis asked, even as Harry buried his face into the crook of Louis' neck.

Harry nodded. "Can we?"

"Of course." Louis slid out of bed and reached for the clothes he'd tossed to the side the night before.

After dressing himself, he moved to help Harry into the outfit he'd worn the previous day. Harry was still teary, but seemed to be trying to calm himself. Perhaps the thought that they would soon be seeing a doctor was helping.

Louis guided Harry down the stairs and into a coat. He then threw on his own coat and grabbed the keys from the little table sitting just inside the doorway. They were in the car in no time.

The car's clock said it was 5:47 a.m. It was early enough that there was not much traffic on the road.

"I'm sure everything's fine, Haz," Louis tried to assure him. "I really think she must be sleeping."

Harry was deep breathing in the passenger seat, hands pressed to either side of his stomach. "She's still not moving, Louis," he whispered, his voice filled with terror.

"We're almost there, love." Louis pressed the gas a little bit harder than was perhaps recommended.

When they got to the hospital complex, Louis parked as close to the A&E entrance as he could, then he supported Harry all the way into the A&E proper.

Louis had barely called out for help when a nurse approached with a wheelchair for Harry. Louis followed behind as the nurse pushed Harry down a short hallway and into a private exam room. She got Harry up onto the exam table, then did a very quick intake interview--basically asking why they were there--then she informed them that a doctor would be in very soon.

Louis pulled the only chair in the room right up next to the table on which Harry sat. Harry squeezed Louis' hand so tightly, Louis was worried he'd lose circulation, but he didn't dare let go. Harry very clearly needed the continued support, and Louis wasn't about to let him down.

They didn't talk while they waited, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Louis couldn't even imagine what Harry was thinking, but Louis was busy praying to every god he could think of that nothing was wrong with either Harry or the baby.

Fortunately, they didn't have to be alone with their thoughts for very long. A young female doctor knocked on the door before entering and introduced herself. "I'm Dr. Bartlett, the on call ob/gyn."

Louis made his own introductions. "I'm Louis, and this is my husband Harry."

"So, what seems to be going on this morning?" the doctor inquired, a warm look on her face.

Louis looked to Harry to explain. Harry became teary again as he told the doctor, "The baby isn't moving. She's usually pretty active in the night, but I haven't felt her kick since early yesterday morning."

Dr. Bartlett nodded her understanding. "How far along are you?"

"Thirty-seven weeks," Harry answered. Louis knew Harry well enough to know he was barely holding it together. He squeezed Harry's hand to remind him he was right there.

"Okay," the doctor began calmly, "I want you to know this could be nothing. Sometimes, when a baby is getting ready to be delivered, the pattern of their movement can change."

Louis and Harry both nodded.

"I'm going to get an ultrasound machine brought in so we can see just what's going on in there," Dr. Bartlett stated. "It's important that both of you stay calm. Can you do that for me?"

"Please just tell me my baby is okay," Harry begged, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm going to help however I can," the doctor promised, offering a comforting smile. "Give me just a few minutes to get the ultrasound in here."

"Thank you," Louis said, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

Dr. Bartlett headed back out of the room, leaving Louis and Harry with more time to worry.

Harry kept one hand firmly in Louis', and he still gripped one side of his belly. "She's still not moving, Louis."

"We need to be calm, just like the doctor said," Louis told him. It also served as a reminder to himself. He absolutely could not panic; he had to be strong for Harry. "Remember, she said it might be nothing."

Harry nodded and pulled in a couple deep breaths. He had managed to mostly compose himself by the time Dr. Bartlett reappeared with a nurse and an ultrasound machine.

It didn't take long for the nurse to get the machine set up, and Louis helped Harry to lean back so the doctor could do the scan and see exactly what was happening with their baby girl.

Throughout Harry's pregnancy, he had had many ultrasounds, so lifting his shirt and getting gel squirted on his belly was old hat. This scan was different, though, and Louis made sure to stick close through the whole procedure.

Dr. Bartlett picked up the ultrasound wand when Harry was prepped, and she began to search for the perfect spot on Harry's bump to check out the baby.

She didn't say anything right away, which naturally made Louis nervous. He could literally hear Harry holding his breath. Louis squeezed Harry's hand, met his gaze, and said, "Breathe, love."

When he looked back at the doctor, she was frowning. Louis' heart sank. "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked.

The look Dr. Bartlett turned in Louis' and Harry's direction was immeasurably sad. "I'm so very sorry. I can't find the baby's heartbeat."

Harry's eyes grew wide. "What?"

"Are you sure?" Louis scrabbled for hope. "Maybe you're just searching in the wrong place."

The doctor gave them a sympathetic smile. "I can see exactly where the heartbeat should be, and it's still. I see no foetal movement at all. I'm sorry to have to tell you that it looks like your baby has died."

"But I had an ultrasound just last week, and she was fine," Harry protested, his voice thin, tears threatening again. "She was fine yesterday morning."

With a nod, Dr. Bartlett explained, "Unfortunately, this happens more than people know. There are several things that could have caused her heart to stop. Sometimes it's a problem with the umbilical cord, sometimes it's a problem with the placenta. It's hard to tell from the ultrasound exactly what's happened here."

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Louis pleaded. "Surgery? Medication?"

The doctor shook her head, her eyes filled with sorrow. "I'm afraid there's not. I'm truly sorry."

Harry began to cry again, and Louis felt tears pricking at his own eyes. Before he started to cry himself, he asked Dr. Bartlett, "What do we do now?"

"First of all, you need to understand that there wasn't anything you did that made this happen," she tried to assure them. "It's just, for lack of a better term, bad luck."

"Bad luck?" Louis repeated.

Dr. Bartlett nodded. "I'm afraid so. Too often there's no other explanation."

Louis sighed. Regardless of what the doctor was saying, he couldn't believe this was all just down to lousy luck.

"As for what happens now…. You have a couple options. You can wait until Harry goes into labour naturally, which could be tomorrow or any time between now and his due date, perhaps even later, or we can induce labour at any time," the doctor said. "The former could give you some more time to process, the latter would, of course, give you more immediate closure."

Louis pulled in a deep breath, determined to get through this before losing his shit. "He can't have a c-section?" He couldn't even imagine Harry having to go through a natural labour and delivery at this point, despite that being what they had originally planned to do.

"Unless it becomes absolutely necessary, it's not recommended, particularly if you plan to try to have other children," Dr. Bartlett said. She paused for a moment before continuing, "I know this is heart-breaking for you, and I'm sure you need some time to process. I'm going to step out to give you a little time. I'll be back to check on you and see how you want to proceed. If you decide you want to go with an induction, I'll explain the whole procedure to you when you're ready."

Louis acknowledged her with a nod, then he turned his full attention to Harry, barely hearing the doctor slip out of the room.

Harry was full-on sobbing again, and Louis knew he would be inconsolable. That was when Louis let his tears flow. He got up from the chair he'd been seated in so he could sit right on the edge of the exam table. He pulled Harry into his arms, and together, they cried.

Louis had no idea how much time had passed, but eventually, first his sobs subsided, then Harry's not long after.

Louis held on tight to Harry as he gulped in huge breaths in an attempt to compose himself. He only let go when Harry's breathing began to sound slower and deeper. He didn't go far, though, taking both of Harry's hands in his as he pressed a kiss to Harry's temple.

"Why is this happening, Louis?" Harry questioned, his voice small. "What did I do wrong?"

"You heard what the doctor said, Harry. You didn't do anything wrong," Louis insisted with as much fire as he could muster.

"We had everything ready…." Harry trailed off, his breath catching in his throat momentarily. "She was due in less than three weeks. How can she just be gone?"

"I don't know," Louis replied, his own breath catching. "I just…. I just don't know."

"What do I do now?" Harry sounded utterly lost.

"Whatever you feel up for." Louis squeezed Harry's hands. "I'm with you every step of the way."

Harry didn't say anything else for a few minutes. Louis was more than willing to give Harry all the time he needed to sort everything out in his head. He simply sat there, ready to follow Harry down whichever path he chose.

"What did the doctor say we could do?" Harry asked, his voice measured and slow.

"She said we could wait for you to go into labour on your own or they could induce labour," Louis relayed the information Dr. Bartlett had given while Harry was still in the initial stages of shock.

"No c-section?"

"If that's what you want, I think we can insist," Louis told him. "But she did say it's not recommended if we want to try for another baby."

"I don't know if I can do this again," Harry stated, becoming teary once again, his hands going almost involuntarily to his stomach.

"I can't even imagine what you're going through." Louis held Harry's gaze steadily. "And I am prepared to go with whatever decisions you make. But maybe right now isn't the time to decide about another baby. Maybe we should keep it open as an option, though."

Harry took a moment to ponder Louis' suggestion, then nodded deliberately. "Okay. No c-section."

"Okay," Louis agreed.

Harry needed another moment to consider what he wanted to do, then he shook his head. "I can't wait to go into labour." He began to cry softly. "I can't walk around knowing she's…." Louis didn't blame him for not being able to finish that thought; he wasn't sure he could, either.

"So, you want them to induce?" Louis concluded.

Harry nodded. "But I want my mum here before," he requested.

"I'll call her," Louis promised. "Gemma, too?"

Through his tears, Harry confirmed, "Gemma, too."

"Is it okay if I call my mum, too?" Louis wanted to know.

Harry nodded once more.

There was a knock on the door just then, and Dr. Bartlett poked her head inside. "How are we doing in here?"

"We're going to go with the induction," Louis reported, releasing Harry for now so he could stand up.

The doctor stepped fully back into the room. "All right. We can do that."

"We just want to wait for some of our family to get here. Is that okay?" Louis withdrew his mobile phone from his back pocket.

"Absolutely," she assured him. "Take as much time as you need. We can get started any time."

"Thank you." Louis turned back to Harry. "Will you be okay for the time it takes me to call your mum and mine?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know." Tears were still streaming down his cheeks.

"While you're making your calls, we'll get Harry admitted and moved up to Labour and Delivery," Dr. Bartlett stated. "By the time you're done, he should be settled or almost settled."

"Will we be able to have a private room?" Louis wondered aloud. He did not want Harry to go through this with any kind of audience.

"I think we can arrange that," the doctor responded, already pressing the red button to summon a nurse.

"Thanks so much." Louis leaned over to give Harry a gentle kiss. "I'll get done as quick as I can, and I'll meet you in your room."

Harry nodded. Louis could tell he was trying hard to be brave.

"I love you," Louis whispered.

"I love you," Harry whispered back.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

A nurse pushing a wheelchair entered Harry's exam room as Louis exited. He was so grateful that the hospital staff was treating them with both compassion and urgency. This was as shitty a situation as Louis had ever experienced, but at least the people charged with caring for Harry weren't part of the problem.

Louis stopped at the nurses' station to ask if there was any place he could make some private phone calls. One of the nurses showed him to an unoccupied office and told him to take as long as he needed.

He sat down at the bare desk and looked at the time. It was closing in on seven-thirty a.m. At least he wouldn't be waking anyone up at too spartan an hour.

He decided to call his own mum first. After pulling in a couple deep breaths, he pulled up her number and pressed _Call_.

She picked up on the second ring. "Louis? I don't usually hear from you quite this early in the morning. What's the occasion?"

At the sound of her voice, all of Louis' composure fled, and he began to softly cry.

His mother's voice was filled with concern when she said, "What's wrong?"

Louis couldn't answer right away, so his mum did what she did best, she offered loving support. "I'm right here, Louis. Take your time, then you can tell me what's going on."

There was a box of tissues on a nearby shelf, and Louis got up and grabbed the whole box, then sat back down. He tugged a tissue out and wiped under his eyes. At the same time, he tried desperately to slow his breathing and calm himself to tell his mother why he was calling.

After a minute or two, Louis felt ready to try to explain the situation. He pulled in another deep breath and made yet another decision--not to beat around the bush. "Mum, the baby died."

Her gasp was audible over the phone, and Louis imagined her covering her mouth with her hand. There was a brief pause, then she inquired, "Is Harry…?"

"Physically, he's okay. Emotionally, we're both a mess," he reported. "He's going to be induced. I can't even imagine…." He couldn't finish when he began choking up again.

"I'm coming down there," she declared, cutting him off anyway. "I'm getting in the car, and I'll be there in just a couple hours. What hospital are you at?"

"Portland," he told her.

"Do you want me to call Anne?" she kindly offered.

Louis composed himself once again. "Thanks, but I think I need to make that call myself." As much as he dreaded the task of telling Harry's mother what was happening, he knew it needed to come from him, not a second party.

"Okay," his mum said. "I'm getting in the car now. I'll see you soon."

"Thanks, Mum."

"Love you, boo." She ended the call, and Louis pictured her jumping in the car and speeding her way towards them.

Now it was time for the phone call he really dreaded. He found Harry's mum's number, hauled in yet another deep breath, and pressed _Call._

Anne picked up on the third ring. "Hello? Louis?"

"Hi, Anne."

"It's early, love," Anne noted, just as his mother had. "Did Harry go into labour already?"

"No, it isn't that," Louis answered slowly, trying to find just the right words to use.

She must have sensed his hesitation, maybe even his sadness. "Is something wrong? Is Harry okay?"

Louis blew out a breath. "It's not Harry," he assured her, though he hated having to add, "It's the baby."

"I need to come down, don't I?" Anne said, her voice starting to shake.

"He wants you to," Louis told her. "You and Gemma."

"I'll call her on the way," Anne promised. "She'll probably get there first. Is your mum coming?"

"Yes. She's on her way." Louis closed his eyes for a moment and forced himself to breathe evenly. "Anne?"

"What is it, honey?"

"The baby died." It would take three hours for her to get down to London. He didn't want her to spend the whole time speculating. "Harry's going to be induced once you get here."

Louis could tell the second Anne started to cry.

"Anne…." He didn't even know what to say at this point.

Over the line, he heard her working hard to collect herself. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Gemma will be on her way the minute I call her. Tell Harry I love him."

"I will," he vowed.

"Louis, I love you, too."

He could barely contain the emotions rushing through him. All he was able to say was, "See you soon."

"See you soon." She rang off.

Louis allowed himself a few minutes to just sit. There was no way the rest of the day wasn't going to be awful. He needed to be strong.

He set his mobile face down on the desk, closed his eyes and practiced some of the yoga breathing Harry had introduced him to years ago. After about five minutes, he felt as ready as he could be to get back to Harry's side.

As he stood, Louis shoved his phone into his back pocket. He then made his way back to the nurses' station to ask for directions to Labour and Delivery. They not only pointed him toward the lift and the third floor, but they also looked Harry up in the computer and were able to tell Louis he was being installed in room 357.

Louis thanked them, then went down the hall to climb into a lift for the third floor. A nurse at the station for that floor guided him to Harry's room.

Another nurse was just getting Harry settled on the bed as Louis walked in. He heard her ask Harry if he was warm enough.

Harry nodded, though his eyes tracked right to Louis. "You made it." He sounded most relieved.

Louis offered him a small smile. "I did." He moved right to Harry's side, kissing his forehead and taking his hand.

"Hi, you must be Louis," the nurse concluded. "I'm Jennifer. I'll be Harry's nurse today."

"Thanks," Louis said, glancing over at her and giving her a sharp nod.

"If you're comfortable for now, Harry, I'll give you two some privacy," Jennifer said. "I'll be at the nurses' station. If you need anything, just press the call button, and I'll be right in." She pointed to the red button next to the bed.

"Okay," Harry agreed.

After Jennifer headed out of the room, Louis turned back to Harry and asked, "How are you doing, love?"

Harry shrugged. His chin wobbled, a sure sign he was still fighting tears.

"Your mum, my mum, and Gemma are all on the way," Louis reported, hoping this news would give Harry some relief, knowing he would soon be surrounded by family.

"Do they know? About the baby?" Harry inquired.

"They do," Louis answered.

Harry's free hand drifted toward his stomach, and he shook his head. "I still can't believe this is happening. How can she be gone?"

Louis didn't know what to say. He could no more answer this question now than he could when Harry had asked it earlier. All he knew is that he would have done just about anything to change it.

He let go of Harry's hand long enough to grab a nearby chair, pulling it right up next to where Harry sat up in the bed. He took Harry's hand back before sitting down. "Has the doctor been back?"

"Only for a second. She wanted to check someone was with me," Harry relayed. "She said she'd be back in a bit to see how our timing is looking."

"Good."

There wasn't more Louis could think of to say, and Harry fell quiet. He held tight to Louis' hand--as if it were a lifeline--the other hand splayed out on his belly.

They had been sat in silence for almost thirty minutes, each of them lost in their own thoughts, when there was a light knock at the door.

Louis exchanged a glance, and Harry gave him a slight nod. "Come in," Louis called out.

He expected it would be the doctor. It wasn't. It was Gemma.

The second he saw her, Harry began to cry again, though not the big sobs from before. The soft crying wasn't any less heart breaking for Louis to hear, however.

Without saying a word, Gemma moved into the room and over to the bed, gathering Harry into her arms.

They wept together for a few minutes, including Louis, who was surprised he still had tears left.

Surprisingly, Harry was the first one to start composing himself. Louis and Gemma followed suit.

"Thanks for coming, Gem," Louis told her, incredibly relieved to have someone else there.

"I headed out right after Mum called," she stated. "All I could think about was getting here."

"Mum told you everything?" Harry asked.

Gemma nodded. She looked from Harry to Louis, then back again. "I'm so, so sorry."

They all fell silent very briefly before Gemma inquired, "What did the doctor say?"

"That she can't say exactly what happened," Louis answered, wanting to save Harry from having to verbalise any of this. "As soon as our mums are here, they're going to induce labour."

Louis could actually see Gemma shudder. "Wouldn't a c-section be easier?" she ventured carefully.

"I thought so, too," Louis replied, "but she said she didn't recommend it, just in case."

"In case?" Gemma's forehead wrinkled with confusion.

"In case we want to try again," Harry interjected, his voice barely qualifying as a whisper.

"Oh, sweetie." Gemma pulled Harry into her arms once more.

There was not a whole lot to say after that. Even so, it was nice to have Gemma there for support. Just having someone else in the room who was as devastated as they were felt like sharing the load.

The doctor visited not very long after Gemma arrived. Mainly, she wanted to make sure Harry and Louis were doing okay, and she insisted that they have her paged for anything--any problems, any questions, anything at all.

Louis' mum, Jay, arrived about an hour after Gemma. Hugs and tears were shared all around, and Jay also introduced a level of calm experience to the proceedings. She had been through this with couples before.

Jay's arrival gave Harry a chance for a moment alone with Gemma and Louis a moment alone with his mum. Jay offered to go get everyone a round of tea, and she entreated Louis to go with her.

After making sure Harry or Gemma would text or ring if there was a problem, Louis followed his mother down the hall, onto a lift, and into the cafeteria. Jay bought them both cups of tea, then they found a quiet table in the corner at which they would be able to talk.

As Louis sipped at his drink, Jay asked, "So, how are you doing?"

Louis sighed and shook his head. "I don't even know how to process this. Just yesterday morning we were in the nursery, and she was kicking. Now she's…gone."

"I'm so so sorry, boo," his mother sympathised, reaching a hand across the table to gently touch his forearm, offering as much physical comfort as she could.

"Harry thinks he did something wrong," Louis went on to tell her.

"I hope both you and the doctor told him that he didn't do anything," Jay said. "Sometimes these things just happen for no reason. Did the doctor say what she thinks may have caused the baby's heart to stop?"

"She said she wasn't sure. She thought maybe the umbilical cord or something with the placenta," Louis reported.

"They may be able to tell once she's been delivered."

A shudder ran up and down Louis' spine at the very thought. "I can't believe he's going to have to go through labour and delivery."

"I know. It will likely be one of the hardest things either of you has ever been through," Jay shared, no doubt speaking from her personal experience.

"Have you ever had patients this has happened to?" Louis wondered aloud.

Jay nodded sadly. "I have. I won't lie; it's difficult. But you'll get through it together."

"Will you stay?" The thought of Harry and him going through this just the two of them was terrifying.

"Of course," she assured him. "And I know Anne will, too, if you ask her to."

"I can't stop thinking about what it will be like after, when we go home with no baby," Louis lamented. "We just got the nursery done."

"You'll take things one step at a time," Jay stated. "You'll try very hard not to take out any anger you may have on each other. You'll grieve. And, eventually, things will get a little bit easier every day."

"What are we going to tell everyone?" Louis asked. "We announced it to all our family, all our friends…. God, the media…."

"Your family and friends will understand, and they'll all be there for you--probably more than you want them to be," Jay said. "As for the media…. You both have publicists and managers. Anne and I will take care of calling the right people, and they'll take care of that, including making sure you get privacy."

Tears pooled in the corners of Louis' eyes, then quickly began to make their way down his cheeks. "Thank you for coming, Mum."

"Of course," she responded, getting up from her seat and moving around the table to envelop Louis in a hug. "I'm always here for you. Always."

She let him cry it out for a few minutes, then she gave him one more squeeze before letting go. They sat back down to their cooling drinks, though Louis didn't spare the lukewarm tea more than a passing thought.

"So, when does the doctor want to induce Harry?" Jay inquired.

"Whenever he's ready," Louis answered. "There's no urgency."

"Okay." Jay took a drink from her cup.

"He wanted Anne and Gemma here before Dr. Bartlett starts inducing," Louis went on.

"That makes sense. I assume the doctor nixed a c-section so you can consider another baby down the line?" Jay checked.

Louis nodded. "She said she only wanted to consider a c-section if there were complications."

"That makes sense, too." She took a moment at this point to pull her phone from her handbag and check her text messages. "Anne just texted me from a gas station. She's about halfway here."

"Good." Louis sipped briefly at his tea. "The sooner we can get the process started and over with, the better. I don't know how Harry is going to handle all of this. He's been a mess ever since he woke up during the night and couldn't feel her."

"I know you want to be there for him, boo," Jay commented, "and you should. You're going to be his rock. But I don't want you to forget yourself in all of this. She's your baby, too, and you've lost her just as much as Harry has."

Louis became teary again at her words. "We were so excited to finally be dads."

His mum offered a sympathetic smile. "I know."

Louis reached for one of the napkins Jay had grabbed with the teas, and he dabbed at his eyes. "We should get back."

Jay nodded. "Do you think Gemma and Harry would like some tea?"

"They might."

"I'll get them." Jay didn't wait for Louis to respond, she just got up and walked over to order two more teas, grabbing sugar and milk for good measure.

By the time she got back, Louis felt composed enough to head back to Harry's hospital room. Needing something to do, Louis took the drink holder Jay was carrying off her hands. Once that was secure, they headed back up to Labour and Delivery.

Gemma and Harry were talking quietly when Jay and Louis returned. As Louis passed them their drinks, he noticed fresh tear tracks on Harry's cheeks. Hopefully his conversation with his sister had been as cathartic as Louis' conversation with his mother had been.

They passed the next stretch of time with banal topics. They covered the weather, the latest television shows, and the articles Gemma was prepping, among other trivial things. This was nice and distracting for Louis, and he thought Harry felt the same.

Anne was texting both Gemma and Jay as she was able, and just before eleven a.m., she finally arrived at the hospital.

As he had done when Gemma arrived, Harry began to cry the minute Anne arrived. She wrapped him up in her arms and gave him another release.

When Harry's tears dried--for now--Anne went ahead and hugged everyone else in the room, giving Louis an extra-long squeeze. "I'm so sorry," she whispered in his ear.

Gemma went in search of a chair for Anne, and it wasn't long before they were all seated around where Harry lay on the bed, every one of them--and Harry--trying to steel themselves for the hours ahead.

"So, when was the last time the doctor was here?" Anne inquired.

"About a half an hour ago," Louis replied. "She should be back soon. She's been checking in on the regular."

Almost as if she'd been summoned by the very act of talking about her, Dr. Bartlett returned. She was introduced to Anne, and Louis and Harry told her this was the last person they'd been waiting on.

"Do you think you're ready to hear about the induction procedure, or do you need a little more time?" the doctor inquired.

Louis looked to Harry. This had to be his decision.

"I can still decide when?" Harry checked, his voice a little wobbly.

"Absolutely," she assured him. "We work on your timetable. If you're ready today, we can accommodate that, but if you wanted to go home and wait, that would be fine, too. Everybody's different, and there's no right way to do this."

Harry was silent for a long moment, then said, "I think I'm ready to hear how it all works."

"Okay." Dr. Bartlett nodded. "We will begin by giving you an internal medication to dilate you, then we'll give you an IV of Pitocin, which will induce labour. At some point, we can also administer an epidural to help during delivery."

"How long will it take for labour to actually start?" Louis asked.

"Could be right away, could be a few hours," the doctor told him. "Once you're fully dilated and labour has progressed appropriately, we'll guide you through delivery."

Harry nodded. "Can I have a few minutes to think?"

"Take all the time you need. I'll come back in a little while to see how you're doing," Dr. Bartlett said. She patted Harry on the shin, then headed back out of the room.

"What are you thinking, H?" Louis wanted to know.

"I don't know. I guess I keep thinking if I wait long enough, something will change," Harry admitted.

"Do you want another ultrasound?" Louis was already preparing himself to call the doctor back in to do the scan again.

"I think so. If it's still the same, I think I'm ready to get started," Harry said, sounding pretty sure of himself.

"Okay." Louis stood from his seat. "I'll go have the nurse tell Dr. Bartlett what you want."

As quickly as he could, Louis went out to the nurses' station and told the nurses that Harry wanted another ultrasound. They assured him that they would alert Dr. Bartlett and one of the nurses would bring an ultrasound machine in.

The nurses were as good as their word. Less than ten minutes later, a nurse, an ultrasound machine, and Dr. Bartlett all arrived.

While Dr. Bartlett was getting the machine ready to go, Harry said, "I hope it's okay I wanted another ultrasound. I just wanted to be sure."

Dr. Bartlett shook her head firmly. "It's absolutely okay. You have every right to want us to do this again."

"Thanks." Harry sighed with relief.

"Is everyone staying?" the doctor inquired before she moved to get out the gel and wand.

Louis gave Harry a look that he meant to convey _your call_.

"Maybe just Louis and I…for this," Harry ventured, shooting a look of apology in his mother's direction.

"Of course," Anne was swift to answer, rising from her chair. "We'll just go get another round of tea."

All three women offered kisses to both Harry and Louis, then they filed from the room to give Harry and Louis some privacy for this last ultrasound.

Once again Louis held Harry's hand as Dr. Bartlett squeezed gel on Harry's belly. She took her time running the wand slowly over his bump.

It was with a sombre tone that she announced, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, I wish I could give you better news, but I still don't detect a heartbeat."

If he was honest, Louis hadn't held out much hope that the result of this scan would be any different from the one earlier that day, and when he glanced over at Harry, he could tell by the look on his face that Harry really hadn't, either.

A single tear fell down Harry's cheek as he nodded his acknowledgment of the doctor's assessment.

Louis took the cloth meant to clean Harry's stomach, and Dr. Bartlett quietly worked with the nurse to put the ultrasound machine to rest.

When the machine was situated, the doctor turned to Harry and Louis, calm benevolence in her face. "You still don't need to make any decisions right now."

Harry shook his head this time. "No, I want to get started."

"You're sure?" Louis checked, every ounce of his attention on Harry.

"I am." There was a determination in Harry's eyes that was crystal clear.

"All right, then," Dr. Bartlett stated. "I'll put an order in for the medication we need to get you started on."

"Thanks," Harry told her, and he and Louis watched as she and the nurse efficiently took the ultrasound from the room.

"I didn't really think…." Harry let his thought drift off.

Louis followed him anyway. "I know. I didn't either. It was the right thing to do, to double check."

"Can you text Mum to let her know it's okay to come back?" Harry requested.

Louis pulled out his mobile and did just that. "Done."

"Thank you. And thank you for being here," Harry added.

"We're in this together," Louis reminded him. "Nowhere else I'd be." He leaned over to kiss Harry's cheek.

A nurse appeared within a few minutes to set up an IV for Harry, as well as insert the medicine needed to prepare Harry for delivery. If only that were the most discomfort Harry would feel that day.

Their mums and Gemma arrived back with a round of tea a few minutes after the nurse had left, and then it became a waiting game.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

For the first hour, nothing much happened, though the doctor came in after thirty minutes and was able to report that Harry was starting to dilate, which was good to hear.

While they waited, everyone in the room tried to keep the conversation as light as they could. Harry seemed content to mostly let the talking float around him. Louis participated inasmuch as keeping an eagle eye on Harry would allow him to. The ladies made it their job to keep everyone plied with food and tea.

It had been a little more than an hour since Harry's IV was installed that he finally began to have contractions. The contractions were definitely strong, but this meant they were distracting, and Harry most certainly needed the distraction.

Harry's water broke about an hour after the contractions began. Dr. Bartlett said she was pleased with Harry's progress. She told Harry that if things continued at the same speed, he would be ready to deliver within a few hours.

Gemma was a fiend about research, and she had spent some time Googling inducing labour and she shared with the group that sometimes inducing still meant hours and hours of labour before delivery. In Harry's only stroke of luck for the day--the week, the month--he was progressing more quickly than most.

The contractions were agonising. Harry held tight to Louis' hand through each one and accepted Jay's help in using breathing to get through each one. Louis was immensely grateful his mother was there with all her midwife experience, but he wished Harry wasn't experiencing all this pain with no reward at the end but more pain.

Dr. Bartlett checked in frequently. Harry had been in active labour for about four hours when he was dilated enough for an epidural to be administered--should Harry want one.

Originally, Harry had very much wanted a natural delivery with no drugs, but this was far, far away from what they'd planned for and expected, so he agreed to an epidural to help ease his pain. A nurse administered the drugs into Harry's spine less than ten minutes later.

Louis was almost as relieved as Harry was when the epidural kicked in.

Harry wasn't able to nap any, but the epidural did dull the contractions to something manageable. He still wasn't up for joining much of the conversation, but he seemed to Louis to be a little more focused on whatever he, Anne, Gemma, and Jay were discussing.

While it helped with the pain, a side effect of the epidural was slowing down the contractions just a bit. Even so, as they approached their twelfth hour at the hospital, Dr. Bartlett concluded that Harry was at nine centimetres dilated, and should be ready to deliver within the hour.

Louis knew that delivering the baby would be an arduous task for Harry. He decided that he and Harry could use a little alone time before they got to that point.

Anne, Gemma, and Jay were more than understanding. They agreed to go to the cafeteria until Louis texted them that it was okay to come back. Both Louis and Harry were clear that they wanted the women there for the delivery.

Once they were alone for the first time since Gemma had arrived, Louis perched on the edge of the bed to take both of Harry's hands in his.

"How are you doing?" Louis questioned him.

Harry pulled in a shaky deep breath and shrugged. "I don't even know. On the one hand, I want the delivery to be over. On the other, I don't."

"I know how you feel," Louis sympathised. "I can't even imagine how we're going to go home without her."

"How am I supposed to do this?" Harry's eyes pleaded with Louis to help him.

Louis squeezed Harry's hands tightly. "I'm going to be here every second. So will your mum, my mum, and Gemma. You won't be alone. I'm here. Okay?"

Harry nodded and hauled in another breath, powering through another contraction. "Okay."

"Just like it's been since the day we met, we're in this together, yeah?" Louis asserted.

Though he was overcome with emotion for a moment, Harry nodded again.

"We start when you're ready, and not before," Louis went on, laying down the law. "And whoever you want in the room will be here, whoever you want to leave will leave."

Harry gave another nod.

"Is there anything you can think of that you need?" Louis was prepared to do anything Harry asked for.

With a small shake of his head, Harry said, "Just to get through this."

"We will," Louis insisted. He paused briefly. "So, should I let our mums and Gemma know it's all right to come back or do you need a little more time?"

"They can come back," Harry allowed.

Louis leaned forward to kiss Harry gently. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you back," Harry returned softly.

Louis withdrew his phone from his pocket and texted Gemma the okay to come back to Harry's room. It was almost time.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

It was not long after the women in Louis' and Harry's lives returned that Dr. Bartlett did, too. She declared that Harry was finally fully dilated. He could begin to push whenever he was ready.

Louis helped Harry into a comfortable position. His back was up against several pillows, and he was able to spread his legs with ease. The epidural was still in full force, which meant the doctor had timed that correctly. In a final bid for complete comfort, Harry had Louis aid him in shedding his shirt, giving him full mobility and hopefully keeping him from overheating.

Louis stood to Harry's right, ready to offer all the help and support he could. Anne, Gemma, and Jay positioned themselves to Harry's left, also prepared to offer assistance, should it be needed.

Dr. Bartlett situated herself on Louis' side of the bed, poised to assist in delivering the baby. She told Harry to push at the top of whichever contraction he felt able to work with. She assured him his body would know what to do.

Harry scrabbled for Louis' hand, and Louis gave it over straight away. Harry then pushed with all his might, chin tucked into his chest, face turning red with the effort. He collapsed back onto the pillows when the contraction was over.

"Good job, Harry," the doctor praised.

"You're doing great, love," Louis added, keeping a tight hold on Harry's hand.

"Keep going just like that," Dr. Bartlett told him.

Louis could tell the second a contraction started, because Harry's grip on his hand would strengthen before Harry would surge forward just a little to push.

This pattern continued for four or five contractions--Louis was beginning to lose count--when Harry started to cry.

He looked up at Louis, tears slowly coursing down his cheeks. "I can't do it. It hurts too much."

Louis had no idea whether Harry meant physically or emotionally. It could well be either--or both. His heart hurt for Harry either way.

"You can do this," he assured him. "You're the strongest person I know."

The words seemed to do the trick because, tears or not, when the next contraction came, Harry pushed once more with all the energy he had.

He had to push four or five more times before Dr. Bartlett announced, "She's crowning." She went on to add, "Don't push too hard, now. I'll help get the head out, using the contractions."

Louis could see Harry visibly trying to relax enough to push gently. "You're doing so great, H," he repeated his praise from not much earlier. "You're almost done."

Harry nodded, still focused on trying not to push with too much vigour.

It wasn't more than a few minutes later that the doctor said, "Her head's out."

Harry collapsed back for a moment, clearly relieved to have gotten the hardest part over with. He closed his eyes and pulled in some cleansing breaths, seeming to be centring himself for the last pushes.

When he opened his eyes again, Anne asked, "How are you doing, baby?"

Harry shifted his gaze over to her and nodded. "I'm okay."

She leaned down to brush a kiss over his forehead.

Dr. Bartlett spoke up then. "Give me just a minute to adjust things down here, then a few more pushes, and you'll be done."

Harry nodded his understanding, then returned his gaze to Louis.

"Almost there, love," Louis told him. "I'm so proud of you."

"Okay, Harry, whenever you're ready…," the doctor allowed.

It was another minute, but when Harry's had squeezed Louis' so tight Louis' knuckles whitened, Louis knew Harry was having another contraction.

Harry pushed exactly three more times, then sighed in relief.

"She's here," Dr. Bartlett said softly. It was jarring not to hear a baby's cry. The silence tore into Louis' already-broken heart.

The doctor grabbed a flannel from nearby, and Louis could see she was gently cleaning the baby. When she was done, she looked over Harry's belly at him to ask, "Do you want to hold her?"

Harry was tearing up again as he said, "I don't know if I can bear it."

Jay stepped up to his bedside and reached for Harry's free hand. He immediately turned to regard her. "Sweetheart, I know it's really hard, but you'll regret it if you don't spend some time with her, then say a proper goodbye."

Louis knew his mum was speaking as someone who'd witnessed this before. He watched for Harry's reaction, prepared to go with whatever Harry was up for.

Harry was silent for a few seconds, then he nodded. "Okay."

Dr. Bartlett wrapped the baby in a white blanket edged in pink and blue, then passed her through Harry's legs so he could take her in his arms. When he had a secure hold on her, she asked Louis, "Would you like to cut the cord?"

"Okay," Louis agreed, taking the scissors the doctor handed over. She showed him where to cut. Next, she quickly helped Harry to deliver the placenta, the last step in the birth process.

Once that was done, the doctor looked over to Anne, Gemma, and Jay, who were all looking on Harry with the baby, tears running down all of their cheeks. "Why don't we give these gentlemen just a few moments alone?"

The women agreed. "We'll be back in when you're ready," Gemma said, before following her mother and Louis' out the door and into the hallway.

"Press the button if you need anything," Dr. Bartlett said, "but take your time."

Louis' eyes were already locked on the tiny being in Harry's arms, and he barely heard the doctor leave the room.

The baby looked like she was just sleeping. She was a little pale, but she had a sweet little face, with a tiny version of Louis' nose and perfectly bowed lips. She had a cap of fine dark blonde hair, and Louis couldn't help but reach out a hand to cup the back of her head. Her eyes were closed, keeping them from seeing their colour, but adding to the illusion that she was just slumbering.

"She's beautiful." Louis spoke in a hushed tone.

Echoing Louis' inner thoughts, Harry softly commented, "She looks like she's sleeping."

For a minute or two, Harry and Louis did nothing but just watch her.

It was Harry who broke the silence. "Do you want to hold her?"

Louis nodded, reaching for the precious bundle, taking her carefully from Harry. He sat down gently, making sure Harry could still see her, even as Harry readjusted himself from the birthing position he'd been in to more comfortable position.

"What do you think she would have been?" Harry wondered aloud, pulling the bedsheet up over his legs.

"I think she would have been whatever she wanted to be," Louis answered, working hard to memorise her face. "With any luck, she would have had your charm and talent, and the world would have been hers for the taking."

Harry offered a small smile at Louis's words. "With any luck, she would have had your energy. She'd have been a force to be reckoned with."

Louis gave a tiny chuckle. He picked up one of her hands, tenderly running his thumbs over her incredibly petite fingers. "Papa and Daddy love you, baby girl," he whispered, hoping she could hear him from wherever she was. "We'll love you forever and always."

Louis stood, then, to hand her back to Harry. Harry took her back gratefully, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

"What shall we call her?" Louis asked.

They had made lists of names when they'd found out they were expecting a girl. There had been plenty of crossover between the names Harry liked best and the ones Louis liked best, but they had eventually decided to wait until she was born to see what name seemed to suit her the most.

"I had kind of had one name I liked more than any other," Harry confessed, not taking his eyes from the baby's face. "Maybe we can use that."

"Which one?"

"Amelia," Harry said. "I was thinking Amelia Rose. What do you think?" He tore his gaze from the baby to look over at Louis.

"I think that's a perfect choice," Louis replied.

Harry refocused his gaze on their baby girl. "Do you like that, angel? Amelia?"

Louis ran a gentle finger down her cheek. It was so soft; it was incredibly hard to believe she wasn't with them.

They took another moment to just watch her, soaking in the too-short time they would have together as a family.

Finally, Harry said, "Should we have Mum, Gemma, and Jay come back in? They should get a chance to see her."

"You sure?" Louis checked, wanting to make sure Harry was at peace with the idea of sharing Amelia for a bit.

"Yes."

"I'll be right back." Louis stood and stepped outside the room, finding his mum, Anne, and Gemma waiting patiently in the hall. "You can come in now."

Solemnly, the ladies followed him back in to Harry's bedside.

Anne was the first one to speak. Looking down at the baby nestled in Harry's arms, she said, "She has the same blonde hair you did when you were born. She's beautiful." It was an echo of Louis' initial thought, but Louis could tell from the look on Harry's face that it was exactly what he needed to hear.

"She really is," Gemma added her two pennies' worth.

"We decided to call her Amelia Rose."

"That's lovely," Anne commented with a small smile.

"Such a pretty name," Gemma said. It was clear she was struggling with what to say, but Louis appreciated her effort.

"Can I take a picture?" Jay asked, her tone cautious.

Louis was taken aback by the question. The idea of taking photos hadn't crossed his mind.

When he looked up and met his mother's gaze, she said, "It's totally okay to say no, but you might want to have pictures later."

Louis exchanged a look with Harry, and they had a silent conversation in which they tried to convey and share their feelings about Jay's suggestion. Each of them nodded at the end.

"That's a good idea, Mum," Louis agreed on both his and Harry's behalf.

Jay nodded and pulled her mobile from her handbag. Gemma and Anne got out their phones, too.

They took pictures of Harry with the baby, of Louis with the baby, and both of them with the baby, as well as a few of the baby by herself. It all felt a little odd to Louis, but he didn't want to risk not taking any pictures, then regretting it later.

By the time they'd taken those photos, Harry felt ready to let Anne, Gemma, and Jay take a turn holding the baby--if they wanted. They did, and each of them got to have a special moment with their granddaughter and niece. Louis hoped his own sisters would forgive him for not having them there. This was all he and Harry could handle.

After the women had all gotten time with Amelia, Harry took custody again. He held her tight to his chest, looked up at Louis, and asked, "What do we do now?"

Louis wasn't sure, either. He took his seat right next to the head of the bed once more. "I guess when we're ready, we can call Dr. Bartlett back in and ask her what the next steps are."

"I wish the next step was taking her home and raising her the way we were meant to," Harry said softly, turning to face Louis completely.

Louis moved forward so they could touch foreheads, both of them gazing down at their baby girl. "I wish that, too," he whispered back.

They were silent for a minute. Harry pulled back, then, so he could look Louis straight in the eye. "Do you think she'll go to Heaven?"

Of nothing was Louis surer. "I do."

"Then maybe she'll be our guardian angel," Harry mused, his quiet voice filled with hope.

"I have absolutely no doubt she will."

Over the sound of their mothers' and Gemma's faint crying, Harry said, "Let's go ahead and call Dr. Bartlett."

"You sure?" Louis checked.

Harry looked back down at Amelia. "I think so."

Louis put a tender hand on the top of the baby's head and kissed Harry on his temple. "I'll go let the nurses know."

As quickly as he could, Louis asked one of the nurses at the nurses' station to page Dr. Bartlett, then he headed back to spend more time with his family.

Louis was taking another turn with Amelia when Dr. Bartlett rapped on the door and stepped just inside the room. "Hello? The nurses' station paged me."

"Hi," Louis greeted her. "I think we're ready to hear what the next steps are."

The doctor moved closer to where Harry lay in bed. "Okay. Well, we'll issue you a certificate that you'll need to take with you to register the baby. I can get the nurses to get the information for you on how to do that."

"Is that like a birth certificate?" Louis inquired.

"It's a certificate of stillbirth, actually," Dr. Bartlett clarified, a look of sympathy on her face.

It was the first time anyone had attributed the word _stillbirth_ in relation to his and Harry's baby girl, and it made everything seem a little too real. It was becoming clearer and clearer what the next few days and weeks would be like, and they would bear no relation to what they'd had planned.

"Louis, baby, are you okay?" Jay asked from her seat at Louis' side, placing her hand on his thigh for continued support.

He nodded, forcing himself from his sad reverie. "I'm okay." He refocused his attention on the doctor. "So, we register her. Then what?"

"We can keep her safe here, or you can have her transported to a funeral home. Once she's been registered, you can choose to have her buried or cremated. We can arrange a funeral or you can choose a funeral home for that," Dr. Bartlett concluded her recitation of what would happen next.

Out of the corner of his eye, Louis saw Harry beginning to cry again. He didn't blame him; he felt like crying, too. But this was information they needed, so he said, "Thanks."

"I can work on getting the certificate issued," the doctor went on. "That should be ready in just a short while."

"Okay." Louis pulled in a deep breath before addressing his next question. "When can Harry be released?"

"Right. I'd like to keep him overnight just to make sure there are no complications, but assuming there aren't, I'll release him in the morning," Dr. Bartlett reported.

Louis allowed himself a small smile at that piece of good news. "Can I stay with him?"

The doctor nodded emphatically. "Absolutely." She swept her gaze over everyone in the room. "You are all welcome to stay as long as you like. I'll get one of the nurses to bring in a couple cots."

"Thanks so much," Anne told her, squeezing Harry's upper arm.

"Can we keep the baby here?" Harry spoke for the first time since Dr. Bartlett had entered the room for her latest update. Louis was somewhat surprised by this request, but found no argument with it. He was reluctant to let go of the baby just yet himself.

"Of course," she allowed. "If you brought any clothes, feel free to get her dressed. I can have the nurses get a cuddle cot for you to put her in for the night. She's yours until you've taken as much time as you want."

"Thank you," Harry said, anxiously reaching out to take Amelia back from Louis. Louis gently passed her back into Harry's arms. Harry sighed with relief.

"As always, if you need anything, let the nurses' station know. I'm going to head home for a bit, but my phone will be on," the doctor told them. "I can be here in fifteen minutes."

Once he made sure Harry was settled with the baby, Louis turned back to Dr. Bartlett. "Thanks for everything."

"I wish I could have done more." She turned to leave the room.

"Dr. Bartlett?" Louis tried to stop her from leaving just yet.

The doctor turned back around. "Yes?"

"Do you think you know what happened?" Louis questioned her softly. For clarification, he added, "With the baby?"

"We can do some tests later to be sure, but I think she somehow got the cord wrapped around her neck."

Louis nodded. Though it didn't really make him feel better, it was good to have an answer, even a tentative one. "Thanks."

Dr. Bartlett nodded back, then turned to head out of the room.

When she was gone, Louis commented, "We didn't bring the bag we packed for the hospital. That had some clothes we'd bought for her in it."

"I can go get it," Gemma offered, already standing and hoisting her handbag strap over her shoulder.

Harry offered her a small smile. "Thanks, Gem."

"No problem," she returned. "Do you need anything else?"

"Maybe a change of clothes for each of us and our toothbrushes?" Louis requested.

"Got it. I'll be back in just a bit. Can I take your car?" she asked her mum.

Anne readily handed over her keys, and Gemma hurried off on her errand.

Anne and Jay went to get some food for everyone, since it was nearing dinner time, leaving Louis and Harry alone with Amelia once again.

"You should get some sleep," Louis suggested. "It's been a really long day."

He could tell Harry wanted to protest, but then he said, "I don't really want to sleep too long, but maybe until Gemma gets back."

"Let me hold her, and you rest," Louis said, taking the baby from a reluctant Harry.

"Just until Gemma gets back," Harry reminded Louis.

"I promise."

Harry closed his eyes, then, leaving Louis alone with Amelia. He decided to do something he'd been looking forward to doing ever since he and Harry had learned they were expecting a baby: sing to her.

Softy, gently, and with tears running down his face, he began.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._  
_You make me happy when skies are grey._  
_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you._  
_Please don't take my sunshine away._  


                                    *                                  *                                  *

When Gemma brought back their bag and a change of clothes, Harry got into the comfy pair of sweats she'd packed for him, then Louis and Harry picked a cute pink onesie to dress Amelia in, a job they undertook together.

True to Dr. Bartlett's word, a nurse brought in a cuddle cot--an invention designed to allow parents in Harry and Louis' situation to spend a little more time with their baby--so overnight, Louis and Harry were able to sleep in short spells, the baby in the cot between them.

Gemma, Anne, and Jay stayed late into the evening, then went back to Harry and Louis' house for some rest, promising to be back in the early morning.

Just as it had been just forty-eight short hours ago, the sun was on the verge of rising when Louis woke to find Harry also awake.

Harry was gazing down at Amelia, and Louis gazed at Harry. "You're awake."

Harry sighed. "Couldn't sleep anymore."

Louis sat up on his cot and swung his legs over the edge, his bare feet touching cold tile floor. "How do you feel?"

"Shattered," Harry admitted. "But I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" Louis inquired.

"Ready to say goodbye."

Louis had no idea when his heart would mend; it certainly wasn't going to be any time soon. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded. "I think so. How about you?"

Louis pulled in a deep breath, then slowly nodded himself. "I think so."

"When your mum, my mum, and Gemma get here, we can give them a chance to say goodbye, then we can go last." Harry had, apparently, been awake long enough to make a plan in his head.

"Okay," Louis agreed. "Are you still okay with what we discussed last night?"

Harry nodded again. "I am."

Before Anne, Gemma, and Jay had left the previous night, they had all discussed the options Dr. Bartlett had laid out for them. They had decided to have the baby moved to a funeral home where they could most easily keep everything private. The very last thing they needed at this--or any--point was information getting out into the media.

Once they'd had a few more days to process--not to mention for Harry to recover from delivery--they would have a service for family and a very few close friends.

Harry and Louis were on the same page about every single thing, making the decision-making simple, if not painless.

"Good." Louis hauled in another deep breath, letting it out little by little. He regarded Harry scrupulously. "Do you think you could get a little more sleep now? Yesterday was exhausting, and today's going to be another long day."

"I could try," Harry said, though his tone was dubious. "You need to sleep some more, too."

"I'll try," Louis promised, laying back down on his cot and pulling the thin dark blanket up to his chest.

He truly meant to try, too, but even when Harry's breathing indicated that he'd blessedly fallen asleep, Louis was unable to turn off his brain long enough to sleep. He gave up after about thirty minutes of sleeplessness and spent his time staring at Amelia instead, still working on memorising her every feature.

He was still working on it when Anne, Gemma, and his mum appeared. They bore coffee and hearts that seemed just as heavy as his and Harry's.

Though they tried to talk softly, Harry still woke now that there were more people in the room. He propped himself up in bed, met Louis' gaze, and nodded.

It was time.

After everyone had gotten a few minutes with their caffeine, Louis broached the subject at the forefront of his mind and, no doubt, everyone else's.

"I think Harry and I are ready to say goodbye to Amelia."

Anne, Jay, and Gemma's faces all showed their overwhelming sadness.

It was Jay who responded first. "You feel like you've had enough time with her?"

"Well, not enough, since we wanted to take her home and raise her, but for what we've got instead, we're as ready as we're going to get," Louis answered. When he glanced over at Harry, he saw Harry nodding in agreement.

"Have you let the doctor know?" Anne wanted to know.

Harry shook his head. "Not yet."

"Would you like me to take care of letting the nurses know you're ready and the plan you decided on last night?" Anne asked, looking from Harry to Louis.

Louis started to decline her offer, but then changed his mind. Why not let someone else handle part of this?

"Sure," he replied. "Thanks."

Anne wasted no time in getting to her task, leaving everyone else to steel themselves for their task. Each of them, in their own way, tried to wrap their heads around the idea of _farewell_.

As it happened, it did not take Anne very long to return. "The nurse I spoke to said Dr. Bartlett is already here, and she'll be up shortly. The nurse also said to take as much time as we needed, but they'll have everything ready to go for Harry to be discharged and Amelia to be transported to the funeral home. Just call the nurses' station when you're ready for them to take her."

"Thanks, Mum," Harry told her.

She moved to squeeze his shoulder. "I'm glad there was a way for me to help."

"You're helping just by being here," Harry assured her, smiling softly.

Another moment of silence, Louis said, "We thought you three could say goodbye first."

Jay rose from her seat to stand right next to Anne. "Of course."

Gemma went first, then Jay, then Anne. They kissed Amelia, told her they loved her and they would never ever forget her. When they had each said goodbye in their own way, they gave Harry and Louis hugs and kisses, then they exited the room.

Leaving Harry and Louis to do the hardest thing they had ever in their lives had to do.

Louis picked up their precious bundle from the cot, keeping her wrapped in the thin white blanket the nurses had provided when they'd brought in the special cot. He held her close and sat down in one of the chairs still at the head of the bed.

They'd put a small pink cap on Amelia's head. Louis placed a kiss just under it, right on her temple. "Papa loves you so much, sweet pea. I know you're already up in Heaven watching everything we do. We are always going to remember you, and we'll miss you so, so much."

He kissed her forehead one more time, then passed her over to an already-crying Harry.

Harry cuddled her close, kissing her in the same spot Louis had done. With tears running unchecked down his cheeks, he spoke softly. "I love you so much, Amelia. I loved carrying you inside me, and even though you can't stay with us, I am so glad I got to be your father. Your Papa and I will miss you every single day, but I know, like Papa said, that you'll be up in Heaven watching over us. You weren't here for very long, but I promise you, none of us will ever forget you. Goodbye, baby girl."

Louis was crying, too, by this time. Just watching Harry say goodbye tore at Louis' soul.

"Can you take her, Louis?" Harry had clearly hit a wall. "I can't…."

Louis pressed the call button over Harry's bed, then took Amelia back into his arms.

A soft knock echoed through the room. Louis quickly tried to pull himself together just enough for company. When he finally called out that it was okay to come in, it turned out to be Dr. Bartlett.

The doctor met Louis' gaze first, then Harry's. She kept her eyes on Harry as she said, "Your mother shared your plans with me, and my nurses told me you would press the button when you were ready for us to take care of your daughter."

Louis nodded. He walked over to Dr. Bartlett and handed his baby girl over to someone for the very last time.

"We'll take good care of her," the doctor promised.

Louis gave her another nod. "I know." He looked back over his shoulder at Harry, who was understandably not handling this part very well. Louis could, obviously, relate. He turned back to Dr. Bartlett. "Can you please let our family know we need just a few minutes?"

"Of course," she replied. "Gentlemen, again, I'm so very sorry. Take all the time you need here. Since you've had no complications, Harry, when you're ready, the nurses have your release papers. And don't hesitate to have me paged if you need anything. That goes for once you're home, too. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks," Louis told her. "For everything."

He swivelled on his heel, then. He didn't need to watch the doctor leave with Amelia. He needed to tend to Harry.

By the time Louis got to Harry's side, Harry was sobbing uncontrollably. Louis sat right down on the edge of the bed and gathered Harry into his arms. Then, together, they cried for all they had lost.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

It took a little bit of time for both Harry and Louis to compose themselves enough that Louis could invite their mums and Gemma back into the room.

There were hugs and a few more tears all around, then everyone sat down. It was still very early in the day, but they were all pretty exhausted already.

"I can't even imagine how hard that was," Gemma told Louis and Harry. "What can we do?"

"Just your being here means a lot," Harry assured her. "Maybe later, you can help us figure out who we need to contact to let them know what happened."

"I can do that," Gemma agreed.

"We'll all help with that," Anne interjected.

"Thanks," Harry said, offering a grateful smile.

"Do you think you're ready to go home, Harry?" Louis asked. "Dr. Bartlett said your paperwork was all set, so we can go whenever you want."

Harry sighed and hesitated before answering. Eventually, he nodded. "I think I'm ready."

"Okay." Louis stood to go tell the nurses.

Jay quickly stood, too, and put her hand on his arm to stop any forward movement. "I'll go."

Louis impulsively hugged her. "Thanks, Mum."

"It's no problem. I've got it." And with that, she headed out of the room.

Those left in the room sat in a comfortable silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

For his part, Louis couldn't help but start to think of all the things they would need to do: tell their extended family and their friends, plan a funeral, decide how to address what happened with the media--they had, after all, announced that Harry was expecting five months earlier--and he had to do all of this while keeping himself and, more importantly, Harry, together.

Jay came back a few minutes after she left, and she had a nurse called Melody with her. Melody pushed an empty wheelchair in front of her.

In the wheelchair's seat was a clipboard. The nurse handed the clipboard to Harry with a warm smile. "Just sign right at the bottom, and you're all set."

Harry did as he was asked, then gave the clipboard back to the nurse.

"We're all so sorry for your loss," Melody said, looking from Harry to Louis to make sure they were both included in her condolences.

"Thank you," Louis responded. "Thank you for taking such good care of us."

Melody nodded. "We're glad we could help." She met Harry's gaze, then. "Hospital regulations are that you have to leave in a wheelchair."

"Okay."

Anne, Jay, and Gemma made it their business to pick up any personal items from around the room, placing everything in the duffle Gemma had brought back from Harry and Louis' house the day before. This left Louis free to help a still-sore Harry off the bed and into the wheelchair.

Once Harry was settled, they filed out of the room. Melody pushed Harry, Louis right at Harry's side, then Gemma, Anne, and Jay right behind.

Louis' car, of course, was there, as were Jay's and Anne's. They decided Gemma would go with Anne, and they agreed to all meet at Louis and Harry's house, though Anne and Gemma would detour to pick up some food for everyone.

While the ladies went to fetch their vehicles, Louis collected his, driving it to the entrance for Harry to transfer from the wheelchair, Louis and Melody both lending assistance.

When Harry was safely inside the car, Melody bid them goodbye, and Louis began the short drive back home--this time at a more leisurely pace than he'd taken on their way to the hospital.

In the passenger seat, Harry leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Louis glanced over and frowned. "You okay, Haz?"

Harry breathed in deep through his nose, then let it out slowly through his mouth. "I don't even know," he finally answered. After another deep breath, he opened his eyes to look at Louis and turn the question around. "How are you doing?"

Louis shrugged. "I don't know, either."

"I just want a shower and our bed," Harry went on. "Do you think our mums and Gemma will mind?"

"Of course not," Louis scoffed, the notion inconceivable. "They'll understand."

Harry leaned his head back and closed his eyes again.

When they pulled into the drive at their house, Jay's car was already there, but not Anne's.

Jay had unlocked the front door and gone ahead in. Louis grabbed their duffle bag from the back seat of his car before helping Harry out of the passenger seat. He then supported him all the way inside.

The smell of brewing tea greeted them, and it was the most comforting aroma Louis could imagine. He took a quick moment to soak it in, then said, "Why don't I help you get to the shower, then I can help Mum finish the tea. It will be waiting for you when you're done."

Harry nodded. "Sounds good."

Louis dropped the duffle bag just inside the door, where they also toed off their shoes.

They took the stairs slowly, but made it all the way up with no problem. Walking down the hallway was tricky, though, as they had to walk past the nursery they'd finished just a few days ago that they now had no use for. They both averted their eyes as best they could to continue down the hall, through the bedroom, and into to the bathroom.

Louis left Harry there to disrobe. While Harry was doing that, Louis collected some clean trackies for Harry to put on when he was done showering. Harry was already under a stream of steaming hot water when Louis re-entered the bathroom, so he just deposited the clean clothes on the counter and shouted to Harry that he'd be back with tea in a few minutes.

Louis headed back downstairs to help his mother get the tea ready.

Jay was in the midst of getting some mugs out of the cupboard when Louis walked in. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Hey, boo. I'm just fixing some tea."

"Thanks. It smells lovely." Louis moved to get the sugar bowl and some spoons. "No sign of Anne and Gemma?"

"Not quite yet. Anne thought they might stop at Tesco for a few things, not just pick up lunch," Jay reported as she placed a teabag in each of the mugs she'd gotten out.

"That makes sense," Louis noted. "Harry's taking a shower. I told him I'd bring him up a cup of tea, then I think he just wants to rest."

Jay was standing next to the kettle now, waiting for it to whistle. "How's he doing?"

"He's still a mess," Louis answered honestly.

"Understandable," Jay commented, adding, "How are you doing?"

Louis shrugged. "I still can't quite get my head around everything. Three days ago, we were expecting to bring home a baby in three weeks, now we have to plan a funeral for her."

"I can't even imagine going through what you two are going through, but please, please don't forget we're here to help," Jay implored, meeting his gaze.

"I know. Thanks."

The kettle began to whistle. Jay plucked it off the hob and started pouring water into the first mug. "This one can be Harry's."

"I'll take it up and get him settled in bed, then I'll be right back down." Louis spooned a little sugar into Harry's tea, then carefully picked up the steaming mug.

Harry hadn't made it to the bed, yet, so he set the tea cup on Harry's night stand before going to check on him in the bathroom.

Since the shower wasn't running anymore, Louis expected to find Harry getting into his fresh clothes. What he found, however, was Harry sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hands on his stomach, tears running down his face.

Louis immediately fell to his knees in front of him. "Love, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

Harry shook his head. "Two days ago, she was here." He rubbed a circle into his belly, now only slightly swollen. "And now she's gone."

Louis gathered Harry into his arms, not even caring that Harry was soaking wet. He held him tight, not saying anything, just making sure Harry knew Louis was there for him.

It took Harry a few moments to stop shaking and crying, and it was only when he did stop that Louis let him go.

"I'm sorry," Harry apologised, reaching up to wipe his eyes.

Louis gripped Harry's upper arms firmly, making sure Harry was looking right into his eyes. "Don't you dare say that. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about."

Harry didn't say anything else, but he did begin to shiver.

"Let's get you dry and dressed," Louis said, standing up, his move allowing Harry to do the same. "I have hot tea waiting for you in the other room."

Harry nodded, grabbing a towel from the warming rack and wrapping it over his shoulders. Louis retrieved the clean trackies, and once Harry was dry, Louis helped him into the warm, comfy clothes. Finally, Louis was able to get Harry under the duvet on the bed, warm cup of tea in his hands.

After an experimental sip, Harry said, "It's good. Thanks."

"Do you need anything else?" Louis wanted to know.

Harry shook his head, taking another drink from his cup.

"You think you'll be able to sleep?" Louis tilted his head, regarding Harry closely.

"I don't know," Harry answered honestly, returning his tea to the night stand. "Stay with me?"

Louis needed a shower himself, and he'd told his mum he'd be back down shortly, not to mention, Anne and Gemma would be there soon. Regardless, he said, "Of course." He stood to strip off his jeans and shed his jumper, throwing them both into the corner of the room. He pulled on some joggers and a t-shirt, and then he was ready to climb under the duvet on his side of the bed, sliding over to take Harry into his arms. Harry moulded his back to Louis' front, their usual sleeping position.

"I miss her," Harry said softly, his breath warm on Louis' arm.

"I miss her, too. So much," Louis confessed, pulling Harry in even closer. "I was just telling Mum how hard it is to get my head around what's happened."

"It feels like everything's changed." Harry sighed heavily. "Like nothing's ever going to be right again."

When Louis nodded, his chin brushed against Harry's hair, still damp from his shower. "I know. I keep hoping it's a nightmare I'll wake up from."

Harry got quiet, then, growing still in Louis' arms.

Though he knew he needed to get back downstairs, Louis couldn't quite bring himself to leave, choosing instead to just hold on tight to Harry and listen to him breathe.

Next thing Louis knew, he was waking up from an unplanned nap. He was still holding Harry in his arms, and Harry was still sound asleep. Louis sent a silent prayer of thanks for that; Harry definitely needed the rest.

As carefully as he could--he didn't want to wake Harry if he could help it--he pulled his arm from under Harry's body and slid out of bed. A quick look at the phone he'd set on his night stand told him he'd only been asleep for about thirty minutes, so he didn't feel too badly. Lord knew he'd needed some sleep.

From the top of the stairs, Louis could tell that Anne and Gemma had made it to the house. He could hear them talking with his mum in the lounge.

Part of him just wanted to go back into the bedroom to lay down with Harry. It would be so much easier, so much less stressful. The other part, however, knew that he needed to be with people and figure out the more practical matters that needed to be dealt with. He wanted to keep as much of that away from Harry as he could. So he sighed, squared his shoulders, and headed down the stairs.

Anne and Jay were on the sofa in the lounge, and Gemma sat in one of the easy chairs. They all turned to him as he entered the room.

"Hey, boo," his mum greeted him. "Come sit down, and I'll get you some tea."

Louis moved to take a seat in the spot Jay was patting softly, right between her and Anne.

"How're you doing?" Jay asked once he'd sunk into the soft leather cushion.

"Harry had a bad moment getting out of the shower, and he asked me to stay when he laid down for a nap. Guess I fell asleep, too," Louis explained. Recognising he hadn't quite answered her question, he added, "It was good to get in some sleep. I'm still exhausted, but I think I can be functional for a little while."

Jay patted his thigh before standing up. "Anne and Gemma brought back some food from Tesco. There's sandwich things. Do you think you could eat?"

Louis bit his bottom lip. "I could try."

"I'll make you a sandwich and get you that tea, then," Jay declared, smiling softly before moving off toward the kitchen.

Anne was the next to speak. "We were talking while you were upstairs with Harry."

Louis turned to face her as she continued.

"Since Gemma, Jay, and I are all here, we were thinking we could start letting people know what's happened." The look on her face told him that this was totally his call.

It took suppressing every instinct he had not to protest this idea. He would have liked to keep the knowledge of what was going on confined to the people in the house just then. He knew, however, that that was impossible. There were other people who needed to know. People who loved them. So, despite not being ready, he nodded. "Okay," he said.

"We were thinking we'd just start with extended family and, maybe, your closest friends," Anne went on.

"That makes sense," Louis said.

"And we should probably ring whoever it is that makes up your press releases," Gemma interjected.

Louis sighed. "I guess the best thing would be to call Martine." Martine was Louis' assistant, and he trusted her implicitly.

Gemma nodded her understanding. "Text me her number, and I'll take care of the rest."

Louis withdrew his mobile from his pocket and quickly sent Martine's number to Gemma.

Jay came back just then with a plate and a mug.  She handed both to Louis. "Turkey and cheese and some Yorkshire tea."

Louis smiled his thanks. "It looks good."

While he wasn't really hungry, Louis forced himself to eat the sandwich and chips his mother had presented him with. He knew he didn't want to pile being sick on top of everything else he had to deal with.

Once he had eaten as much as he could manage, Louis drained his tea and hauled in a deep breath. "There's one call I should probably make myself."

Jay, Anne, and Gemma all regarded him questioningly.

"Lottie. She was going to be Amelia's godmother. I want her to hear this from me," Louis told them. He looked to Jay. "Unless you already told her…."

"All she knows is that I came here because of complications. I haven't told her anything else," his mum reported. "I wanted to wait for an okay from you and Harry."

"I'll tell her now, then," Louis said firmly.

"Are you sure?" Jay checked. "I don't mind handling that."

"Thanks, but no. I need to do it. I'll go out on the patio to call." Louis placed his tea cup down on the coffee table, then stood up.

"We'll start on our calls, too," Anne said, already grabbing her phone from her handbag.

Louis carried his phone out to the patio. It was chilly out, but that was the least of his discomforts on this particular day.

He pulled in another deep breath and blew it out slowly. It was time, then, for one of the hardest calls he had ever had to make.

Louis unlocked his phone, and navigated to Lottie's number. He took another cleansing breath before hitting the button to start dialling.

As usual, Lottie picked up after just one ring. "Louis! Thank God."

"Hey, Lots," he greeted her, tearing up just hearing her voice. God, he loved his little sisters (and brother, too).

"What's happening? Mum told me Harry was having complications. Are he and the baby okay?" It was clear from Lottie's tone that she'd been quite worried.

Louis puffed out some air and closed his eyes. This was even harder than he'd imagined it would be. "Harry's okay, but the baby…. The baby died."

Lottie's gasp was loud over the phone, and Louis pictured her covering her mouth. "Oh, God, Lou…."

"It's been pretty rough," Louis admitted.

"What happened?" Lottie asked. He could tell she was crying, and he wished he could have done this in person so he could hug her.

"The doctor thinks she got the cord wrapped around her neck," Louis explained.

"Louis, I'm so so sorry."

"Thanks, Lottie." Her support meant the world to him.

Lottie was silent for a moment, no doubt processing everything. Then, she inquired, "Will you be having a funeral?"

"Yes. Probably in a couple days," Louis replied.

"When can I come?" Lottie wanted to know.

"Whenever you're ready to."

"I'll be there in the morning," she declared. "Dan can bring the rest of the kids later."

Louis choked up at the thought of Lottie coming. He and she were incredibly close, and it would be comforting to have her there. "Sounds good," he told her.

"Give Harry a hug for me," Lottie implored.

"I will," Louis promised.

"See you tomorrow."

"I'm glad you're coming."

"I love you," Lottie said in lieu of goodbye.

"I love you, too," Louis returned.

He waited for her to ring off first, then shoved his phone back in his pocket. He sat down heavily on one of the patio chairs to take a little time to regroup before heading back inside. The conversation he'd had with Lottie had been short, but incredibly charged.

When he was finally ready to go back into the lounge, Jay, Anne, and Gemma were all on the phone, so Louis decided to go check on Harry.

He slipped into their bedroom as quietly as he could so as not to awaken his husband, but when he moved to Harry's side of the bed, he discovered that Harry was awake.

Harry was lying on his side when Louis came into the room, just staring into space. Louis urged him to slide over so he could sit in the space between Harry and the edge of the bed. Harry obliged, looking up at Louis with sorrow in his eyes.

Louis reached over to brush a errant lock of hair from Harry's forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted," Harry admitted.

"You didn't sleep for very long." Louis pointed out.

Harry shifted around and pulled himself up into a seated position. "I woke up and couldn't turn my brain off again."

Louis sighed and nodded. "I certainly know what that's like."

"Did Mum and Gemma make it here?" Harry asked.

"They did. They brought us some groceries from Tesco, and now they're ringing some of the people who need to know what happened." Louis caught Harry up quickly.

"I know I should say that you and I should have done that job, but I'm glad you and I don't have to," Harry stated.

"Me, too," Louis confessed. "Though I did ring Lottie myself. I thought she deserved to hear it from me since we'd asked her to be the baby's godmother. She'll be here tomorrow."

"Good."

"So, since that's taken care of, do you think you could eat something?" Louis wondered out loud.

Harry shrugged and blew out a puff of air. "I don't know."

"You mum got stuff for sandwiches," Louis said. "I could make one for you."

"I guess I should try some food."

"Good. Shall we go downstairs?" Louis inquired, already preparing to stand up.

Harry sighed. "Do you think our mums would mind if I just stayed up here for now?" He squirmed as he awaited Louis' response.

"I think they'll understand," Louis assured him. "I'll go make you a sandwich, maybe some more tea."

"Thanks."

Louis leaned forward to give Harry a chaste kiss on the lips. "Be right back."

"I'll be right here."

At the doorway, Louis turned around to find Harry curling back up on his side to await Louis' return.

Downstairs, Gemma and Anne were still on the phone, but Jay had retreated to the kitchen, where she was brewing a fresh pot of tea. She smiled at Louis when he walked into the room.

"How's Harry, darling?" She turned on the hob under the kettle.

"He's awake," Louis told her.

Jay frowned. "He didn't sleep for very long."

"He said he woke up and his brain did that thing, you know, where it won’t shut off again." Louis moved to get a new cup for Harry from the cabinet next to the refrigerator. He'd left Harry's first cup upstairs.

With a nod, Jay said, "I certainly know what that's like."

"He says he'll try some food, so I thought I'd take a sandwich up to him." Louis switched to the cabinet with their dishware.

Jay placed a tea bag in the cup Louis had just taken down. "Everything's in the fridge. Do you want me to make it?"

"I can get it," Louis insisted. "Thanks."

In minutes, he had a turkey sandwich made up just the way Harry liked it--with cheese, lettuce, and tomato, no mayo--and a fresh cup of tea.

"I think we'll stay upstairs for a little while," Louis commented. "We just need some…time."

"Absolutely." Jay reached out to squeeze his forearm. "Would it be easier for Anne, Gemma, and me to get a hotel room? Give you two some space?"

Louis shook his head firmly. "No. We want you here."

Jay nodded her understanding. "Okay. We’re here for you, whenever you need it. And we'll stay out of the way, when you need it."

With gratitude, Louis smiled. "You're the best, Mum. I love you."

"I love you, too."

As Louis carried some food up to his grieving husband, he recognised that even though he'd lost a great deal in the last couple days, he was still an incredibly lucky person.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Louis was getting heartily tired of seeing the pre-sunrise sky. Nevertheless, here it was, for the fourth morning in a row. He could tell Harry was--blessedly--still asleep, so he tried to close his eyes in hopes he could join him back in sleep mode. After about ten minutes, however, Louis had to give up and, instead, he slipped carefully out of bed.

The doors to the guest rooms were, of course, closed, proving Jay, Anne, and Gemma were all, like Harry, sleeping. Unsurprising, given that it wasn't even six yet.

The door to the nursery was closed, too. Louis stood with his hand flat on the door for a moment before he let himself in.

The room was bathed in early morning light, the white of the furniture still gleaming a little blue from the waning moonlight. Louis walked over to the changing table, where they'd folded some of the clothes and blankets they'd bought (or been given) in advance of the baby's arrival.

The blanket on the top of the pile was one that had been given to them by his grandmother. According to her, the blanket had been one of Jay's favourites when Jay was a baby, and she'd wanted Louis and Harry's daughter to have it. It was white and embroidered with small yellow and blue flowers and was still as soft as could be.

Louis picked up the blanket and moved to sit down in the rocking chair set at the edge of the yellow, blue, and white rug in the centre of the room.

The blanket smelled clean and fresh. As he held it up to his nose, though, he imagined it smelling of baby powder and soap. He imagined wrapping Amelia in the blanket and holding her gently in his arms, rocking her to sleep before placing her in her crib for the night.

The next images which ran through his head were those of Amelia just a little older, maybe four or five years old. In his mind, she had long dark curls, just like Harry's. Her eyes were a gorgeous blue-green, a perfect mix of his and Harry's eyes. She had dimples like Harry when she smiled mischievously, a miniature copy of Louis' smile.

Louis had hoped to teach her football. It was his very favourite sport, and if she didn't inherit Harry's clumsiness, she might have, instead, inherited Louis' own talent and been a footie star. He and Harry would have been at every game.

Louis didn't know how long he'd been sitting there just imagining what Amelia would have been like when a hand on his shoulder caused him to jump practically out of his skin. It could have been any of the other people in the house, but when he turned to look over his shoulder, he found Harry. Louis sighed and took a second to catch his breath.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Harry whispered. "I just woke up and you weren't there."

"I woke up a little while ago, and I couldn't go back to sleep," Louis explained.

"So you came in here?" There was no accusation in Harry's voice, only sincere curiosity. He came around to the front of the rocking chair Louis occupied and sat down cross-legged in front of the chair on the rug, wincing against his lingering soreness.

Louis leaned forward in his seat, still clutching the blanket. "I was just imagining how she might have looked."

"Yeah?" Harry looked ethereal in the moonlight as he awaited more from Louis.

Louis nodded. "I really wanted her to have your curls."

Harry smiled softly. "I wanted her to have your eyes. They're the best blue I've ever seen."

Louis returned his smile. "I was going to teach her football."

"Hopefully she wouldn't have had my lack of coordination," Harry noted with a chuckle.

"Even if she had, I would have taught her," Louis said. "I would have seen to it she was a proper fan."

There were both silent for a moment, just sitting together as the light coming in through the windows grew incrementally lighter.

"It's so unfair." Harry broke the silence. "She was meant to be here with us."

"I know." Louis shifted in his seat and sighed.

"What should we do with this room?" Harry wondered aloud.

"I don't know." Louis slowly blew out a puff of air. "But I don't think we should make any decisions about it right now."

"It should have been hers," Harry persisted, his tone turning toward anxious. "We can't use it for anything else."

"Of course not," Louis agreed. "We can leave it as it is for now."

"Okay." Louis could see Harry relax.

Someone cleared their throat at the nursery door. Louis turned around to see who it was, while Harry craned his neck to see around Louis and the rocking chair. They found Anne poised in the doorway. Like Harry, she had always been an early riser.

"Good morning, boys," she greeted them quietly.

"Good morning," they chorused.

"You both okay?" she asked, her tone careful and measured.

Louis exchanged a look with Harry before answering, "As okay as we can be."

She smiled. "How about some tea?"

"Tea sounds good," Louis responded. "H?"

Harry nodded.

Louis stood and reached for Harry's hand, helping him off the floor. "We'll be down in just a minute," Louis then told Anne.

"See you there." She offered one more smile, then padded down the hall toward the stairs.

"Today is going to be awful," Harry predicted, clearly starting to become anxious again. "We're going to have to deal with people."

Even though the people Harry was referring to would all be people they loved, Louis knew how Harry felt. He pulled Harry in for a hug, embracing him tightly, the blanket he still held pressed to Harry's upper back. This time, he was able to feel Harry relax.

When they separated, Louis said, "We're going to take this day a minute at a time, okay?"

"Okay."

"And if you need to take a break at any time, that's perfectly fine," Louis urged him to remember.

"You, too," Harry issued his own reminder.

Louis gently lay the blanket he'd been holding on the seat of the rocking chair, then he took Harry's hand. "Ready?"

"No," Harry answered honestly.

"One minute at a time." Louis squeezed Harry's hand.

"One minute at a time," Harry repeated, squeezing Louis' hand back.

"This minute, just tea," Louis stated, meeting Harry's gaze and raising his eyebrows in question.

"Okay. This minute, tea." Harry started moving forward.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

The first part of the morning was quiet. Harry and Louis sipped tea with Anne, Gemma, and Jay around the kitchen table, chatting about some lighter topics like the weather and the news. It was too early for any conversations about practical matters; there would be plenty of time for that later.

Once they all had enough caffeine flowing through their systems, Jay and Anne combined their efforts to make breakfast. Lottie showed up just as the food was being ferried to Harry and Louis' dining room table. She explained that she hadn't been able to rest well after Louis had told her the news, so she'd given up on sleep and had gotten the first train to London that she could.

Louis held Lottie tight when he let her into the house, comforted to have another member of his immediate family there for support. He needed all the help he could get. It was clear from how tightly Lottie squeezed him back that Lottie needed him as much as he needed her.

They were just finishing up some eggs and bacon when Gemma's phone buzzed.

Louis and Harry had more or less ignored their mobiles since Harry had gone into labour. Neither of them had the energy to deal with any of the texts or e-mails they had no doubt received, particularly since Anne, Jay, and Gemma had made all their calls the day before.

Gemma, however, had been fielding calls and texts like a pro. In general, she had been handling all of it on her own, but this time, she read the text to the table at large. "It's Liam. He wants to know if it's okay for him and Niall to come over."

Louis was not remotely surprised. Liam and Niall might as well have been brothers to him and Harry. They were much, much more than merely friends. If something like this had happened to Liam or to Niall, he and Harry would certainly have wanted to offer some in-person support.

Aside from the obvious comfort Liam and Niall would provide, Louis and Harry really needed help dealing with the media aspect of their situation. Liam excelled at dealing with the media, more than any of them, and Louis was positive that Liam would be fine with taking on that role yet again.

"Are you okay with them coming, H?" Louis asked Harry. As much as he thought Liam and Niall coming could be a help on many fronts, he was willing to take Harry's lead on this one.

Harry only needed a moment of thought. "Yes. It would be nice to see them."

Louis turned back to Gemma. "Tell them that's fine."  


Gemma held her phone up in preparation for texting. "What time?"

Louis shrugged. "Lunchtime? We have plenty of food here for sandwiches for everyone."

"That sounds good. I'll tell them one." Gemma typed a message back to Liam. A new buzz indicated he'd answered straight away. Gemma relayed, "He said they'll be here at one."

Louis and Harry retreated to the lounge when they were shooed away so the ladies could clean the kitchen.

"You hanging in there?" Louis asked as they took a seat on the sofa.

Harry nodded. "You?"

Louis gave a nod of his own. "I'm glad Lottie's here."

"It's great she was able to come so quickly," Harry agreed.

Louis reached for the remote sitting on the coffee table in front of them. "Shall I find something on the telly?"

"Nothing heavy," Harry requested.

"Nothing heavy," Louis assured him, flicking the TV on. Within seconds, he'd found a fluffy romantic comedy that was just beginning. Rom-coms were Harry's favourite thing, and he murmured his approval as Louis raised the volume a bit, then set the remote back down.

Anne, Jay, Gemma, and Lottie joined them not long after, Lottie settling in on the sofa next to her brother, resting her head on his shoulder.

In easy accord, they all watched the movie, then the one that followed. Louis was pleased that Harry seemed both relaxed and distracted, so, in turn, he himself could be relaxed and distracted.

The second movie's end credits were rolling when the doorbell rang. Louis' phone display said it was one minute to one o'clock, so either Liam and Niall were practising punctuality (which, to be fair, was more their strong suit than Louis') or they had a surprise visitor.

Gemma jumped up from her spot on the love seat to go answer the door. Sure enough, she came back with Liam and Niall in tow.

Louis swiftly muted the TV, then got up to say hello, Harry following suit.

Niall held him tight, Liam held him even tighter. They both whispered their sympathy in Louis' ear, and Louis knew that Harry was receiving the same treatment. Louis was so grateful to have their friends with them at this particular point in time.

While Louis and Harry were greeting their band mates, Gemma and Lottie fetched two chairs from the dining room, placing them in such a way that there was a circle of seating.

Once everyone was seated, Liam said, "We've been so worried since Gemma called us yesterday. We're both so glad you were up for visitors today."

Louis offered him a small smile. "Thanks for wanting to come by."

"I know it's a terribly silly question," Niall joined the conversation, "but how are you doing?"

After exchanging a look with Harry to make sure Harry was okay with Louis speaking for both of them, Louis answered, "We're still a bit in shock."

Niall nodded understandingly. "I can't even imagine what you're going through."

There was a bit of an awkward silence when no one knew quite what to say.

Liam pushed through the silence to ask, "So, what can we do to help? Do you need any groceries? Are there any arrangements that need to be made?"

"We have plenty of food--for now," Louis told him. "Anne and Gemma shopped yesterday."

"We were thinking we could all have sandwiches for lunch," Anne interjected.

"There are some arrangements and other plans we need to make," Louis went on. "Maybe we could discuss them over some food."

"Sounds fine," Liam stated.

"We'll go get everything ready," Anne announced.

Jay, Gemma, and Lottie followed Anne into the kitchen, leaving Louis and Harry alone with Liam and Niall.

Another awkward silence fell over the room. Louis couldn't blame either Niall or Liam. This wasn't an easy situation for anyone, and it also wasn't anything any of them had ever been through before.

Niall cleared his throat, the sound practically echoing through the quiet room. Then he softly said, "Gemma said you named her Amelia. That's a really pretty name."

When Louis looked over at Harry, he was pleased to see a small smile on his face. "Thanks," Harry returned. "We decided on Amelia Rose."

"Is that after someone or just a name you liked?" Liam asked.

"It was just a name we both liked," Harry replied.

Liam and Niall both offered small smiles at Harry's explanation.

Silence reigned once again, but only for a few moments. Louis decided to put their band mates out of their misery. "So, Harry and I have been out of the loop for a few days here. What have you guys been up to? Anything new on the horizon?"

Liam and Niall each looked visibly relieved at the subject change.

It was Niall who answered first. "Actually, there is. I just got approval to produce my new CD on my own."

"Wow!" Louis exclaimed. "That's amazing."

All four of them had had a great deal of success going solo, but while they had all been encouraged to write for themselves, it had been difficult getting record labels to trust them to oversee a whole project. This was big news.

"I'm really excited." Niall was unable to tame a big smile. "I have so many ideas; I can't wait to get started."

"Maybe there's hope for the rest of us," Liam commented. "I should have a chat with my label."

"You absolutely should," Niall encouraged. "It was easier than I thought it would be. I guess I hit the magic amount of experience."

Liam nodded with determination. "I'll definitely give it a try."

Before Liam could share his own news, Gemma reappeared. "I think we've got everything ready. We set it up on the dining room table."

"Thanks. Gem." Harry pushed himself up off the sofa.

Louis followed suit, as did Liam and Niall, then they walked in a line across the hall into the dining room.

Gemma, Anne, Lottie, and Jay had put on a pretty good spread, featuring several different lunch meats and cheeses. They had a couple different kinds of bread, and a few bags of crisps. Light and easy, which was exactly what they needed.

They all made sandwiches and loaded up on crisps, then they settled down to eat.

It was quiet at the start of the meal, as hunger was staved. Then Liam again brought up the subject of him and Niall offering an assist. "So, what can we do to help? We're up for whatever."

Louis finished his bite of sandwich before speaking. "What we were really hoping was that one of you might be willing to handle management and the media."

Liam immediately nodded. "I can do that."

With a sigh of relief, Louis said, "You always do such a good job with management…and the media. We really appreciate you taking this on."

"Absolutely no problem." Liam took a sip of water. "The best thing might be for you to let me know what information you want given and what you want kept private. I'll take care of the rest."

"That makes sense," Louis agreed. He looked over at Harry, and he could tell from the pained look on his face that Harry wasn't ready to be a part of this conversation. That was okay. Louis had already thought about this.

He cleared his throat. "I think we need to keep the message as simple as possible. We lost our baby girl on the sixteenth of February. We're supporting a charity called Abigail's Footsteps--"

"We are?" Harry interrupted, puzzled.

"I found it online when I couldn't sleep. It was founded by a couple whose daughter was stillborn late in the pregnancy, and its purpose is to help other parents in the same position," Louis explained.

Harry smiled softly. "That's nice."

"So, anyone who wants to offer condolences can consider a donation to that charity? Instead of flowers?" Liam inferred.

Louis nodded. "Do you want to share her name or keep that private?"

Louis gazed over at Harry and shrugged his shoulders. "What do you think?"

Harry gave it a moment of thought. "I think it's okay to share, don't you?"

"I do," Louis said, looking back across the table at Liam.

"Anything else?" Liam wanted to know.

"Just that we ask for privacy," Louis requested.

"I've already spoken to Martine, so you can coordinate your efforts with her," Gemma interjected.

Liam acknowledged this with a nod.

To the table at large, then, Louis asked, "Can anyone think of anything else we should add?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"That sounds just right," Jay commented.

"Then that's what I'll do," Liam concluded. "I can get on that this afternoon. I'll call management and PR, and I'll make sure your wishes about the information shared are crystal clear."

"Thanks, Li," Louis returned.

"Is there anything I can help with?" Niall jumped into the conversation.

Anne had an idea even before Louis could construct one. "We're trying to work out all the details for the funeral. Perhaps you'd be willing to make some calls."

"Absolutely," Niall swiftly agreed, clearly happy to be able to contribute.

"After lunch, we can show you what all needs to be done," Anne went on.

"Sounds fine." Niall started back on his sandwich now that all the particulars needing to be addressed had been addressed.

Gemma, Niall, and Liam combined their efforts for the rest of the meal to keep the conversation light. Gemma was well-versed in gossip, while Niall and Liam talked about some recent musical releases and tour announcements. Louis was able to just relax and try to eat, and when he looked over at Harry, his face wasn't quite as pinched as it had been the last few days.

Once they had all finished, Louis attempted to offer to help clean up. Just as he'd been the last time he tried to help, he was shooed away by the women in his life. He and Harry were urged to try to take a little down time while Liam and Niall took on their tasks and the women straightened the kitchen.

Predictably, Harry stated that he was tired, so when they got to the lounge, Louis grabbed the remote and sat at one end of the sofa, and Harry lay down, his head in Louis' lap. Louis turned on the TV, lowered the volume, then found a footie match to watch. With Louis combing his fingers through his curls, Harry was asleep in no time.

Louis was relieved. They still had a long few days in front of them. Harry would need all the sleep he could get.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

The next three days were, as Louis had mentally predicted, long. Despite the best efforts of the family and friends helping with all the arrangements needing to be made, there were still things Harry and Louis had to decide about. Louis was able to handle most of those himself, with input from Harry when necessary. The worst was having to decide whether to cremate or bury the baby. Harry very nearly broke down just thinking about it, but they managed to decide together to have the baby cremated, then privately scatter her ashes at a later date.

By the time the day arrived for the funeral, both Louis and Harry were more than ready to get through it to the other side. It was just…a lot.

They all had breakfast together, Harry, Louis, Anne, Jay, Gemma, and Lottie. It was a sombre affair that contained little conversation. The support was palpable, though. Louis knew that everyone around his dining room table were there for Harry and him, no matter what. He was pretty certain that Harry knew it, too.

After they ate--although neither Harry nor Louis cleaned their plates--it was time to get dressed. The service was in the late part of the morning, but they needed to be there early to go over the arrangements one more time, then greet their guests.

Louis and Harry both dressed in dark suits, and for the first time since before they'd left for the hospital, they both took care with their appearance.

Anne, Jay, Lottie, and Gemma all wore black dresses, and once they were all ready to go, they took two cars to the funeral home.

The hospital had recommended a few funeral homes, but it had been Anne who had picked the one they'd all decided to work with. The Weller Funeral Home had proven to be both incredibly discreet and immeasurably kind.

When the Tomlinson/Styles family arrived at the funeral home, they met with the director, Genevieve Landon, who expressed her sympathy once more and then went over the home's plan for security and for the order of service. All the staff had signed non-disclosure agreements, hopefully minimising the chances of the media getting a hold of any information they shouldn't have.

There would be a short period of time where Harry and Louis would greet those who had been invited to say goodbye with them, then they would begin the short service. Anyone who wanted to speak could, and when the service was done, there would be a small amount of refreshments presented. It all sounded lovely, and with Harry and Louis' approval, they were able to get started.

Harry, Louis, Anne, Jay, Lottie, and Gemma were shown to a room decorated in sombre blues and browns. There, they waited for their first guests to arrive.

They had elected not to invite too many people. So after Liam and Niall, Louis' step-father and all of his sisters and his brother, Harry's father, aunt, and uncle, and a very few of their closest friends arrived, they were ready to begin.

The officiant--a gentleman called Eric Roman--from the funeral home was the first to speak. "On behalf of Louis and Harry, thank you to all of you for coming. This is a difficult time, but your support means so much to both of them."

Eric gazed around at those gathered in the small chapel. "It's hard to lose anyone we love, but it is especially hard to lose a child. An adult who dies leaves behind a legacy, a child leaves behind unfulfilled hopes and dreams."

Harry placed the back of his hand on Louis' knee, and Louis took hold, squeezing tight. When Louis glanced over at his husband, he could see tears already streaming down Harry's cheeks, matching the wetness on his own face.

"Though Amelia Rose did not get to stay here, she was still loved deeply. Her memory will live on in the hearts of all her family, as well as those of all who loved her and were prepared to guide her in life."

Eric paused briefly to give everyone a moment. Before the silence could become oppressive, he continued. "Louis and Harry have both asked to say something, then they would like to invite anyone else who wants to say something to do so. After that, there will be a wake in the next room, for solace and grief to be shared with those who feel the same way."

The officiant took another short pause, then looked to Louis, who had offered to speak first.

Louis nodded, squeezed Harry's hand for luck, let Harry's hand go, and stood up. While turning to face his family and friends, he hauled in a deep breath, blew it out slowly, then cleared his throat. He met his mother's gaze before speaking. "Thank you so much for coming today. It means so much to Harry and me to have you here."

He paused for another breath, then looked down at Harry. "We were so excited about having Amelia join our family. When we first found out Harry was expecting, we were wildly nervous. We weren't positive we were ready, but the closer we got to the day she was due, the more ready we felt. Then we had to come home from the hospital without a baby."

Looking back up at their guests, he continued, "It's been a heart-breaking week. We went through something we had never even imagined could happen. It's meant a lot to know we have everyone's support, and I know we can count on all of you to help us as we try to get through this.

"Again, thank you so much for coming today. We truly appreciate every single one of you." There was nothing more to say, so Louis finished with a grateful smile and sat back down.

Harry leaned over to press a soft kiss to Louis' cheek.

"You gonna be okay to talk?" Louis whispered to Harry.

Harry only hesitated for a beat, then nodded. He squeezed Louis' knee, then stood for his turn to address the gathering at large.

Unsurprisingly, tears were coursing down Harry's cheeks as he turned to face their family and friends. Louis could hear Harry suck in a breath before he started speaking.

"Like Louis said, thanks to all of you for coming. The last week has been the worst I've ever had. When it started, I thought that in just a few weeks, we'd be bringing our baby girl home. Now here we are." He let out a small sob.

Harry stopped to compose himself, and he glanced down at Louis. Louis shot him a supportive smile, sure Harry could get through this.

With a little smile back at Louis, Harry went on. "I know Amelia would have been clever. I know she'd have been beautiful. I know she'd have been talented. She would have been so loved. Not just by everyone in this room, but by everyone she'd have met.

"I hope she's up there, looking down at us, and I hope she knows how much we love her and how sad we are that we won't get to know her. If we're really lucky, she'll be our guardian angel, and she'll watch over us." He hauled in a deep breath, then looked up toward the ceiling. "I'll never forget you, Amelia Rose. I promise."

No longer able to hold in his immense sadness, Harry began to cry in earnest. He wasn't alone. Behind him and Louis, a dry eye would have been hard to find.

Eric gave everyone a few moments to collect themselves, then he asked if anyone else wished to say anything. Louis peeked around to see if anyone wanted to, and was only mildly surprised to see Liam raise his hand. Ever their spokesperson. Eric summoned Liam forward, and Liam dutifully moved to the front of the chapel to face the small crowd.

Liam smiled softly before beginning. "First of all, Louis and Harry, we all love you both so much."

Louis met his gaze and smiled back.

"Our hearts are all broken for you," Liam continued, gazing back at those congregated for the same reason as he was. "We were so excited about meeting Amelia, and we're incredibly sad that we won't be able to get to know her.

"I think I speak for everyone in the room when I say we're all here for you, whatever you need, just ask." He looked back at Louis and Harry. "If you need someone to listen, we're here. If you need someone to shop for you, we're here. If you need some distraction, we can do that. If you need some space, we can do that, too. Just don't forget you're not in this alone."

Both Harry and Louis nodded their thanks.

Liam moved to give them both tight hugs before sitting back down.

Once again, Eric asked if there was anyone else who wanted to say something, but this time, no one did. Louis thought everything had been said, anyway. He and Harry knew that Liam truly did speak for everyone there. They were so very lucky to have the people they had in their lives.

When it was clear that the speakers were done, Niall brought his guitar up to play. This was a surprise to Louis and, judging by the look on his face, a surprise to Harry, too.

Niall looped the strap around his shoulders as he explained, "I wanted to sing something today, in honour of my brothers Louis and Harry and their dear baby girl. I had no time to write something myself, but I found a song by Daughtry that says what I would have wanted to write. It's called 'Gone Too Soon.'"

After one deep breath, Niall began to sing.

 _"_ _Today could have been the day_ __  
_That you blow out your candles_  
_Make a wish as you close your eyes_  
_Today could have been the day_  
_Everybody was laughing_  
_Instead I just sit here and cry_  
  
_Who would you be?_  
_What would you look like_  
_When you looked at me for the very first time?_  
_Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life_  
  
_Not a day goes by_  
_That I don't think of you_  
_I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose_  
_Such a ray of light we never knew_  
_Gone too soon, yeah_  
  
_Would you have been president_  
_Or a painter, an author, or sing like your father?_  
_One thing is evident_  
_Would've given all I had_  
_Would've loved you like no other_  
  


_Who would you be?_ __  
_What would you look like_  
_When you looked at me for the very first time?_  
_Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life_  
  
_Not a day goes by_  
_That I don't think of you_  
_I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose_  
_Such a ray of light we never knew_  
_Gone too soon, yeah_  
  
_Not a day goes by_  
_I'm always asking why_  
  
_Not a day goes by_  
_That I don't think of you_  
_I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose_  
_Such a beautiful life we never knew_  
_Gone too soon_  
_Gone too soon, yeah_  
_Not a day goes by_  
_That I don't think of you"_

If there had been any dry eyes in the room before Niall began to sing, there weren't any when he finished.

Niall pulled his guitar strap over his head and leaned the guitar against the pew Harry and Louis sat in so he, like Liam, could offer fierce hugs to his friends.

"Thank you, Ni," Louis whispered in Niall's ear.

"I wish there was more I could do," Niall said back.

When Niall hugged Harry, Louis could hear Harry's own whispered thank you. Louis could imagine no greater gift than this song presented to them by one of their closest friends.

"It means so much," he heard Harry said to Niall as they pulled apart.

Niall's song brought the service to a natural close, and Eric invited everyone to move next door for some light refreshments.

Silently, row by row, they exited to move to the room next door, and Louis and Harry were the last to rise.

"You holding up okay?" Louis asked as Harry smoothed his jacket down.

Harry nodded. "Barely, but yes. You?"

"I'm okay," Louis answered. "I'll be glad to get home, though."

"Me, too," Harry agreed.

Louis took his hand. "Let's go mingle for just the right amount of time, then we can head home."

"What's the right amount of time?" Harry wondered aloud.

"Whatever we decide," Louis replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

Harry shot him a small smile. "Sounds good to me."

With a plan in place, they walked united down the aisle and into the room where food and guests were waiting.

They stayed just the right amount of time.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

It was raining when Louis woke up the next morning. This seemed fitting. He was lying in an empty bed the day following his baby girl's funeral. The sun shining through the window would have felt like an insult.

For a moment, he tried turning over to go back to sleep, but it became very clear very quickly that more sleep was not in the cards.

In deference to his mother, mother-in-law, sister, and sister-in-law, Louis threw a robe on over his boxers, then headed down to the kitchen.

He found Jay, Anne, Gemma, Lottie, and Harry sitting at the kitchen table with cups of coffee and tea.

As soon as he appeared, Jay hopped up from her seat. "Good morning, darling."

"Good morning," Louis replied, still feeling exhausted despite sleeping a good seven or eight hours.

She gave him a hug, then asked, "Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"Coffee would be good," Louis replied, moving to Harry's side. He bent down to give Harry a kiss. "How are you, love?"

Harry shrugged. "Didn't sleep well, but I'm all right."

Louis slid into the chair next to Harry's and accepted the cup his mother handed to him. The first sip was a good start to helping him properly wake up.

"So, is there anything we have to get done today?" Anne inquired.

Louis and Harry shook their heads simultaneously.

"I don't think so," Louis answered. He took another sip of coffee. "I know we have some paperwork we need to do, but that won't happen today."

"We were thinking you and Harry might like some alone time today," Jay said.

Louis started to protest, but then thought about how stressful the day before was, and how they'd had to spend most of the day surrounded by people. Well-meaning people, to be sure, but people nonetheless.

So he nodded. "That would be nice. It's been a long few days."

"We'll go find something to do today, then," Jay said. "Then we'll come back in time to make dinner. Since we're all leaving tomorrow, I was thinking we could have one more meal all together."

"That sounds good," Louis told her.

Anne made a quick breakfast of eggs and sausage for all of them, then Jay, Anne, Lottie, and Gemma made good on their word and headed out for a day in the city, leaving Harry and Louis alone for the first time that didn't involve going to bed in days.

They decided to sit in the lounge for a while and just flip on the television. They wanted something mindless to watch and settled on _Avengers Assemble_. It was good to watch someone else's (ridiculous) problems for a little bit.

It was a quiet day, exactly what they needed. They watched a couple of mindless movies, made themselves sandwiches for lunch, then found an old Man U match to watch.

Louis felt much more relaxed when his mum, Anne, Lottie, and Gemma arrived back at their house at tea time. He thought Harry was feeling better, too. If he wasn't relaxed, Louis thought Harry might, at least, feel less stressed.

The women had brought some Chinese takeaway with them. Forgoing the dining tables in the house, they decided to sit around the lounge and pass the cartons around so each of them could get a little taste of everything.

Louis lowered the volume of the television so they could chat while they ate.

"You boys sure you'll be okay if we go tomorrow?" Anne asked as she stabbed at the lo mein in her hands with her chopsticks.

"We love having you here," Harry replied. "But we know you have to go some time. We'll be fine."

"I'm less than thirty minutes away," Gemma reminded them, meeting first Louis' gaze, then Harry's. "Call me any time."

Harry nodded. "We will."

"I mean it," she insisted. "Any time. Call at three a.m., and I'm here by three-thirty."

Harry nodded again.

"That goes for me, too," Lottie jumped in to say. "I can be here in just a couple hours."

"Thanks, Lots," Louis said sincerely, overcome with all the love surrounding him and Harry.

"And we're both just a few hours away," Jay interjected, speaking on behalf of herself and Anne.

"Thanks, Mum," Louis told her. He shared a smile with her. "We're so grateful you could be here this whole time. I'm not sure we'd have made it through without you."

Jay reached from her spot on the easy chair to pat Louis' knee. "Well, I wish it had been under different circumstances, but I'm glad I was able to offer support."

"Me, too," Anne added.

"I'm going to miss you, Mum," Harry said, his voice thick with emotion. He put his container of fried rice down to get up to hug her, spawning a series of hugs that went all around the room.

For the rest of the meal, the conversation remained light, not wanting to end the women's visit on too sombre a note.

They all cleaned up from dinner together, making the job quick, then they settled in the lounge.

Sensing that Harry was on edge--whether from everything that had happened or from the knowledge that his mum and sister were leaving in the morning, Louis couldn't guess--Louis suggested they watch _Love Actually_ , Harry's very favourite comfort movie. No one argued.

Harry urged Gemma to sit on the sofa with him and Louis, and they were barely fifteen minutes into the film before Harry's head was in Louis' lap where Louis could card his fingers through Harry's curls, and his feet were in Gemma's lap. Gemma complained about his stinky feet, but then proceeded to give her brother what he'd been after, a foot massage.

They were not even an hour into the movie when it became clear that Harry had fallen asleep. Given that he hadn't slept well in many days, this was a blessing. Those who had not fallen asleep allowed the movie to play through to the end, however, just in case Harry woke up again.

As the movie's credits rolled, Harry awoke and wiggled his way back into a seated position.

"Good nap?" Louis checked.

Harry yawned widely. "I missed the movie."

Louis couldn't help but smile at Harry's complaint. "We'll watch it again another time."

Anne seemed to have caught Harry's yawn. "Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I'm exhausted."

"Me, too," Jay echoed, stretching her arms over her head.

"I could stand to try to get more sleep than I got last night," Louis noted. "What do you say, H? Ready for bed?"

Harry hesitated for a second, but then nodded.

As they all traded good night wishes and hugs, Louis squeezed everyone a little tighter than usual, aware that as of the next morning, he and Harry would have to begin the arduous task of trying to get back to normal, without the baby they had hoped to bring into their little family.

Louis could tell that Harry, too, was squeezing their guests tighter than he usually did. They both needed to draw as much strength as they could to make it through. They would need every bit they could gather, and then some.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

For a few days following the departure of their mothers and sisters, Louis and Harry laid low. They watched a lot of mindless television and took naps often, ordering takeaway for their meals. They needed time to grieve together for what they had lost.

Louis had blocked out six months to be at home with the baby, as had Harry. Louis knew, however, that he couldn’t just sit at home now, missing their daughter.

A week after the funeral, Louis started making some calls while Harry was napping. He wanted to get some feelers out there, see who might be available to collaborate with in the near future. He needed to get busy, and he wanted to encourage Harry to do the same.

When Harry awoke from his nap, it was tea time. Louis made them a pot of tea and actually fixed sandwiches instead of calling for a delivery.

Harry sat down at the table and sipped at his tea, prepared by Louis just the way Harry liked it. "This is good, Lou. Thanks."

"I hope the sandwich is good, too. The stuff your mum bought still seemed okay," Louis explained.

After taking a bite, Harry nodded. "It's good."

"You sleep okay?" Louis took a bite of his own turkey sandwich.

Harry shrugged. "I guess."

"So...." Louis paused to find the right words. "I made some phone calls while you were sleeping."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I wanted to find out if there's anyone available for some songwriting." Louis watched Harry carefully to see what his reaction would be.

Harry didn't give any reaction right away. He sipped at his tea before saying anything. "You're ready to go back to work?"

At least Harry didn't seem mad, easing Louis' mind. "It's not so much about getting work done as it is getting my mind on something else."

After another pause, Harry said, "I can't imagine going back to work."

"You don't have to," Louis assured him. "Not until you're ready."

Harry picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

"Are you okay with the idea of me going back to work?" Louis needed to know.

"I don't know, if I'm honest." Harry didn't seem to want to meet Louis' gaze.

"That's fair," Louis allowed, keeping his gaze right on Harry regardless of Harry's hesitation.

"I understand wanting to be busy," Harry said carefully, "but I was hoping we could have some time together."

"We will." Louis reached across the table to grab Harry's hand. "I'm not going to schedule anything that lasts a whole day. Not right away. I'll be here plenty. Who knows, you might even get sick of me."

Harry chuckled for the first time in a long while. "I highly doubt that will happen."

"I won't go anywhere unless you're okay with it," Louis went on, his tone serious. "When someone actually calls, we can see where we are."

"Okay." Harry took another bite of his sandwich.

Louis also lifted his sandwich and ate for a few minutes. When his sandwich was half gone, he had another question for Harry. "What are you thinking about going back to work? I know you just said you can't imagine it now, but…."

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I know I'll have to get back to it at some point, but I need some time. I don't have to set a deadline, do I?" He was genuinely asking Louis, not being at all belligerent.

"Absolutely not. You can take all the time you need. We don't have to be ready at the same time," Louis pointed out.

"Okay."

A comfortable silence fell over them as they finished the rest of their tea. After having their mums and sisters around for a while, it still felt odd it being just the two of them, especially since they'd expected by this time to be on the verge of, maybe even having, a tiny baby to tend to. It would take a little while to get used to this new normal.

After polishing off his sandwich, Louis stared at Harry until Harry looked over to meet his gaze. Once he had Harry's full attention, Louis gave him a smile. "I want you to remember I'm here for you. Every minute, every day. Like I said before, we're in this together."

Tears formed in the corners of Harry's eyes at Louis' words, and he nodded. "I know."

"Even if I try to get back to work, you are always my number one priority. Always," he repeated for good measure. "Even if I'm writing with…Mick Jagger…I'll drop him like a hot potato if you need me to."

A wry smile quirked on Harry's lips. "Mick Jagger wouldn't give you the time of day."

"If he remembered I was married to you, he would," Louis countered.

Harry paused for effect. "Good point."

"So, we're clear?" Louis checked, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"We're in this together," Harry echoed.

Louis got up and moved around the table to bend over and give Harry a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Harry repeated. "Every minute, every day."

"I know."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

At first, Louis wasn't concerned. It made sense that Harry would feel exhausted much of the time. He had just suffered through a long, intense labour and delivery and an extremely emotional loss. Louis didn’t question Harry sleeping a good portion of a day away, waking long enough to eat, chat with Louis for a short while, and maybe take in a mindless movie or two.

When it had been just about three weeks since Amelia had been born, however, and Harry was still sleeping many more hours than was normal, Louis finally began to get quite concerned.

Harry was typically a pretty early riser. When they had still been planning on a baby coming home to raise, they had already decided that Harry would be the morning dad, while Louis would be the night dad. Now, however, Harry wasn't getting out of bed until the late morning, and he often returned to bed for a long nap in the middle of the day.

It was about eleven a.m. on a Friday three weeks after their family had gone home when Harry padded down the stairs and into the lounge where Louis sat watching a football match. Wearing a worn pair of pyjama bottoms and an oversized blue sweatshirt, he sat down right next to Louis and rested his head on Louis' shoulder.

Louis turned his head to kiss Harry's forehead. "Good morning, love."

"Good morning," Harry murmured.

"How are you feeling?" Louis asked.

In what had become a ritual, Harry shrugged. Louis was becoming increasingly worried that Harry didn't really know what he was feeling at this point.

"Would you like some tea? Coffee?" Louis offered.

"Mmm. Tea would be nice." Harry moved away to allow Louis to stand.

"Be right back," Louis said.

Making a mug of tea for each of them didn’t take long, and he was back on the sofa, handing Harry his favourite rainbow mug. "Watch out. Super hot."

Harry blew at the top of his drink before sipping.

Louis grabbed the remote to mute the television, then turned to face Harry, waiting for Harry to look up and meet his gaze.

Gesturing to where his phone lay on the coffee table, Louis explained, "I got a text from Liam. He wanted to know if we wanted to have lunch today. He's got some studio time this afternoon, but he's free for lunch."

Harry didn't even give the idea any thought. He just shook his head. "I don't think I'm up for it."

"Are you sure?" Louis checked. "It might be nice to get out of the house, yeah?"

Harry shook his head. "I can't. But you go. I know you'd like to see him."

"I would," Louis agreed. "But I'd really like you to come with me."

"Maybe another time," Harry suggested by way of turning Louis down again.

Louis frowned. "I'm really worried about you, Harry. It's not like you to turn down a chance to hang out with one of the lads."

Harry visibly stiffened at Louis' words and tears sprung to the corners of his eyes. "I just can't, Louis. I'm sorry."

Louis reached over to draw Harry into his arms, rubbing his back gently. "You don't have to apologise. I know what you're going through."

They held each other for a long moment, Louis hoping Harry was comforted by the contact just as much as Louis was himself.

"You go, Louis." Harry pulled away from Louis' grasp, wiping his eyes. "I'll be fine here for a little while."

"Only if you're positive," Louis countered, his hand on Harry's knee.

Harry nodded. "Go."

"Okay, I'll let Liam know I can meet up. My phone will be on the table the whole time. If you need me, just text or call, okay?" Louis put his most serious look on his face; he needed Harry to understand that Louis was there for him at all times.

"Okay," Harry agreed. He offered Louis a small smile. Louis suspected it was forced, but he appreciated the effort.

Louis left Harry on the sofa with the remote and a fresh cup of tea to get dressed for lunch with his band mate.

Harry was watching _Notting Hill_ when Louis got back to the lounge. Louis watched the movie for a few seconds before turning his attention to Harry. "You good?"

Not wanting to miss a moment of the film, Harry paused it. "I'm fine. Have fun with Liam. Tell him I said hi."

"I will," Louis promised. "Don't forget, call or text if you need anything."

"I will," Harry parroted Louis' vow.

Louis kissed Harry, then pressed play on the remote in Harry's hand. "Enjoy the movie."

Harry's eyes focused once again on Hugh Grant while Louis shrugged on his coat and retrieved his car keys from the dish on the entry table. Though he still wasn't entirely sure he should be leaving Harry, he knew he needed to. Time to start healing.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Liam was waiting for Louis at a corner table at a small American-style restaurant not far from the studio where Liam was recording his new album. He greeted Louis with a tight hug, then they sat down to order drinks and catch up.

"So, how are you doing?" Liam opened the conversation.

Louis knew that Liam wasn't looking for a glib _fine_ ; he genuinely wanted to know how Louis was. Liam's steadfast support and caring was one of Louis' favourite things about his friend. "I'm hanging in there. It's kind of minute by minute, you know?"

"I know you've heard this already a million times, but I really can't imagine what you're going through," Liam told him. "To go nine months expecting to bring a baby home and then…."

Louis couldn't blame Liam for not being able to complete the thought. The words were still hard for him to say. Even so, Louis finished for Liam. "Not bringing a baby home."

"Yeah," Liam confirmed that Louis had voiced what he couldn't.

"I still can't quite believe that we lost her," Louis admitted softly. "It's all so surreal. One minute she was fine, she was kicking a storm up inside Harry, and the next, she was just…gone."

"How's Harry doing?" was Liam's next query.

Louis sighed. "Actually, I'm really worried about him."

"Is there something more than just being sad about the baby?" Liam's brow furrowed with shared worry.

After taking a sip of water, Louis explained, "He sleeps all the time. Other than sleeping, he doesn't want to do much of anything other than watch movies. He's eating, thank God, but he refuses to go out or see other people. I tried so hard to get him to come with me today, but he wouldn't."

"Maybe he just needs more time," Liam suggested.

Louis' next words were put on pause when the waiter came by to take their order. They ordered the same pizza they always shared, then sent the waiter on his way. Louis took a deep breath before continuing, "That’s what he says…that he needs more time."

"I sense a 'but' at the end there," Liam said knowingly.

"But this isn't like him." Louis drank from his water again. "When things go wrong, he's usually so quick to bounce back."

Liam pointed out, "This isn't your average setback."

"That's true," Louis agreed, blowing out a puff of air.

"I think you just need to give him the time and space he needs," Liam said. "Be there for him, you know, but maybe don't push too hard."

"You're right," Louis declared.

"But don't forget yourself in all this," Liam went on. "You need time to grieve, too. Make sure to give yourself time and space."

Louis smiled softly at Liam's earnestness. "When did you get so wise?"

With raised eyebrows, Liam corrected him. "I've always been wise. Maybe you just didn't notice."

Louis couldn't help but chuckle despite the sad topic at hand. He sobered quickly, though. "Thanks, Li. You're the best."

"I'm here for both of you," Liam reminded him. "Whatever you need, however I can help, just say the word."

"Thanks," Louis said sincerely.

"I think I can speak for Niall, too, and say he's the same. Whatever you and Harry need…." Liam spoke on their fourth's behalf.

"You guys are the best." He didn't know how he and Harry had gotten so lucky to have the friends they did, but it meant the world to know those friends existed.

"We just want to help." Liam smiled sympathetically.

As if he'd been waiting for Louis and Liam to finish the deeply personal and sad part of their lunch conversation, the waiter appeared at that moment to set a piping hot pizza down in between the two friends.

"This smells amazing," Liam commented before taking a slice and putting on his plate, blowing his fingertips to cool them down after touching the hot pizza.

Louis gingerly got his own slice of pizza. "So, we've talked plenty about me. Tell me what's going on with your album."

Liam grinned. "Oh, my God, it's going so well. I have managed to get some of the best collaborators this time out."

Louis couldn't help but grin himself at Liam's enthusiasm. He settled back, then, and ate his pizza while Liam talked about his new music. It was the most welcome break he'd had in quite some time.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Louis tried--he really did--to follow Liam's advice and let Harry grieve at his own pace and in his own way. But as they hit the six-week mark since the baby had passed and Harry was still living an existence comprised of sleep, eat a little, watch a little TV, sleep, eat a little, watch a little TV, sleep, Louis could no longer stand it. He didn't want to push, but he really felt like he needed to strongly encourage Harry to seek help to start to become himself again.

He had gotten some calls about potential writing sessions, but he was worried enough about Harry that he had asked if they could revisit once he felt more confident leaving the house. It wasn't that he thought Harry would mind--he'd told him he didn't--or that Harry would do something stupid while Louis was out, it was just Louis feeling guilty about leaving the house when Harry was so blatantly unhappy.

Something needed to give.

It was a Saturday morning when Louis decided to try to talk to Harry about his concerns. Harry had come downstairs at his now-usual late morning hour and he'd prepared himself some tea to drink while sitting on the sofa in the lounge next to Louis, who was sat watching a football match.

"Sleep okay?" Louis asked, as had become routine.

Harry shrugged, also a routine now. "Still really tired."

"You hungry?"

Harry shook his head. "Not yet. Maybe in a little while. I was thinking we could finish _While You Were Sleeping_." He had fallen asleep when they'd been watching it the previous evening.

"Did you forget how it ends?" Louis teased gently.

Harry rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "I love the end. When he shows up at the train station…. It's perfect."

"I'm okay with watching the end, but there's something I want to talk to you about first," Louis told him, turning so he was facing Harry directly.

Appraising Louis with wary eyes, Harry said, "Oh?"

Louis nodded and used the remote he was holding to turn off the television. He pulled in a deep, cleansing breath before beginning what was bound to be a rough conversation.

"I'm really worried about you, love," Louis said as gently as he could.

The look on Harry's face told Louis Harry wasn't at all surprised by Louis' statement. He looked down at his hands, then nodded.

Louis reached out to take Harry's hands in his, and he waited for Harry to look back up at him. "I know you're sad. I'm sad, too, but I know we need to move forward. There's so much we're still supposed to do."

Harry drew in a deep breath. "I know. I just don't know how to get over this. Every day I wake up, and I remember that she's not here, and I don't know what to do with that."

After taking a quick moment for thought, Louis went on, "I don't think losing her is something we're meant to get over. I think we just need to get to a place where we can carry her with us as we go on."

A tear fell down Harry's cheek. "I don't know how to get there."

Louis knew how hard it was for Harry to admit there was something he didn't know how to do. He prided himself on being able to work through just about anything with relative ease. Louis also knew that he himself was going to have to admit the same.

"I don't know, either. Maybe what we need is to get help from a professional. A therapist," Louis suggested. "What do you think?"

Harry sighed. "I don't know about sharing all of this with a stranger. It was hard enough to share with our family and friends."

"I know, but we'd find someone who's familiar with what we've been through, someone who can give us real advice to get us going forward," Louis stated. The hospital had given them some contacts, and he knew Google would also offer ideas.

"You really think we should do this?" Harry checked.

"I do," Louis assured him.

Harry paused for a second, then confirmed, "We'd go together?"

Louis nodded vigorously. "Absolutely. We're in this together."

"Okay," Harry said softly. "I'll go."

Louis leaned forward to kiss Harry, then sat back once more. "I'll take care of everything--the research, making the appointment, the NDAs, all of it."

Harry nodded. "Okay."

"So," Louis grinned, "you want to finish that movie you've seen a million times again?"

"I do," Harry answered, already reaching for a throw blanket to curl up in.

Louis retrieved the remote and pulled up Netflix, finding the movie they'd begun the night before and resuming it. Harry snuggled up to his side, and they let Lucy Moderatz's troubles distract them--however briefly--from their own.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Using the list the hospital had given him as a starting point, Louis did extensive research to find a therapist that he thought would be the best for Harry and him to see. There were quite a few options to choose from, but he finally went with a Dr. Gail Armstrong. In addition to reading some comforting testimonials on her website, he was able to call and speak to her for a short time to get a real feeling for whether she would be the right choice.

Dr. Armstrong had made counselling those who had suffered from either a miscarriage or a stillbirth her specialty, as she had suffered through a stillbirth of her own. Louis liked the idea of talking with someone who knew what he and Harry were going through, and he was pretty sure this would make Harry feel better, too.

After explaining their situation--and that discretion would be necessary--Louis was able to secure an appointment for first thing on a Monday morning. Louis wasn't thrilled with the early hour, though he wasn't surprised the slot was open. Who wanted to discuss their deepest, innermost feelings at the very start of the new work week?

Harry wasn't thrilled with the early hour, either. It had been many months since he'd tamped down his early rising ways, and it was wildly difficult to get himself out of bed and dressed to get to the therapist's office by eight-thirty a.m. Louis made a quick scrambled egg breakfast for them, and they were on their way.

When they arrived at Dr. Armstrong's office suite, her assistant, Wendy, assured them that everyone involved with the practice had signed an NDA, and the paperwork Louis had sent in advance was all entered into the system. They were all set to go.

Being the first appointment of the day, they did not have to wait very long to be shown into the doctor's office.

Louis had seen Dr. Armstrong's photograph online, so he had already known what she looked like. What the photograph hadn't been quite able to convey was how lovely she was in person. She greeted them right as they entered the room, shaking each of their hands warmly before offering them a seat on her wine-coloured sofa. She seated herself in a similarly-coloured easy chair canted just to the side of the sofa.

As soon as they sat down, Harry reached for Louis' hand, gripping it tightly. Louis squeezed Harry's hand, reassuring him they were still in this together. Always. Louis saw the doctor glance at where their joined hands rested on Harry's thigh, smiling softly at the sight.

"So, gentlemen," Dr. Armstrong began, "It's lovely to meet you both, though obviously, I wish it was under different circumstances."

"Thank you for seeing us, Dr. Armstrong," Harry said, offering a small smile of gratitude.

"You're very welcome," she returned. "And it's Gail, please."

"Gail," Harry repeated dutifully.

Gail shifted her gaze to Louis. "If I'm remembering our phone conversation correctly, you lost your daughter in the middle of February. Is that right?"

"It was the 16th of February," Louis confirmed. It was now the start of April.

"I'm so sorry," she told them. "It's one of the hardest things for anyone to go through."

Louis and Harry both nodded at what had to be the understatement of the year.

"I've been there myself," Gail went on. "I lost my son ten years ago, and there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him."

Harry glanced over at Louis before speaking again. "Louis told me you'd been through this yourself. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Thanks," Gail accepted his sympathy. She paused briefly, then said, "Usually when I begin therapy with someone, I ask them to tell me why they're here and what they hope to get from our sessions together."

Louis and Harry both nodded again. This time, Louis looked over at Harry before speaking. "I'll go first."

A dip of Harry's chin gave Louis permission.

Louis blew out a puff of air. "As you said, we lost our baby…Amelia…in February. It's been a lot to deal with, and we're both having trouble moving forward from where we are."

When Louis stopped, Gail prompted, "And what would you hope to accomplish in our sessions?"

It took Louis a moment to piece together his thoughts. Finally, he said, "I guess I'd like us both to get to a point where we can move on. Not get over what happened, but go forward. Does that make sense?"

Gail nodded. "Complete sense. And you, Harry?"

Harry squirmed a little uncomfortably, but then he looked at Gail straight on. "Mostly what Louis said. I've had a really hard time getting past everything that happened. I'd like to feel like myself again. Get back to my life. But I don't want to stop thinking about Amelia."

"Of course," Gail said. She shifted her gaze so she had both men in her view. "That all sounds like where anyone would be after going through what you did. I think with some work here, you can get to where you want to be. Now, I have one more thing to ask, then we can go ahead and get started. I know you came in together today. Is that how you want to proceed? Together, or are you also interested in individual sessions as well?"

Harry and Louis exchanged a look. It was Louis who answered, "I think we're open to whatever we need to do to get, like you said, where we want to be. But for now, together."

Gail nodded. "Okay, then. I think we can get started."

"Okay," Louis and Harry agreed simultaneously.

"So, this was your first child?" Gail began with a question.

Louis and Harry both nodded. "We were so excited," Louis added. "We've been talking about having kids since before we were married."

Gail smiled. "And you were how far along when you gave birth?" she asked Harry.

"Thirty-seven weeks," Harry replied. "We were almost there."

"Are you able to talk about what happened?" the doctor inquired, her tone gentle and calm.

"I think so." Harry sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. "From about my seventh month on, Amelia was a night owl. She would wake me up in the middle of the night, every night, with some pretty…lively…kicking.

"That night in February, I woke up in the middle of the night like always, but she wasn't kicking," Harry remembered, frowning even more than six weeks after. "I knew something was wrong. I was really scared, so I woke Louis up, and we went to the hospital. They did an exam, and that's when we found out she had died." Harry started crying at the memory.

Louis reached for the box of tissues on a side table and passed them to Harry.

As Harry dabbed at his eyes, Gail commented, "I'm sure you were heartbroken."

Harry scrunched his tissue into a ball and visibly himself. "I was. I couldn't believe she was gone. Just like that."

"I'm so sorry," Gail said.

Harry nodded in acknowledgement. "They told me I could wait until I went into labour naturally, or I could be induced. I couldn't bear the idea of carrying her knowing she was…gone. So I had them induce me."

Gail nodded, an indication she was following Harry's retelling of events.

"I was in labour about six hours before she was born. It was the hardest thing I've ever done," Harry told her, tears springing to his eyes once again.

Louis could still vividly remember each and every emotion he'd gone through that day. He didn't think he'd ever forget, and he suspected Harry wouldn't either.

"Did you get a proper chance to say goodbye?" Gail wanted to know.

"Yes," Harry replied. "The hospital was fantastic. We got to spend a lot of time with her before we had to say goodbye."

"That's good," Gail commented. "It's so important to have some kind of closure. So, how are you feeling now?"

"Stuck," Harry answered after a momentary pause. "I can't stop thinking about Amelia and all of the plans we had for her. Any time I try to think of the future--or even what's going on now--I always end up going back to the what-ifs." He sighed heavily.

"Don't be hard on yourself," the doctor urged. "Everyone needs time to grieve. It's natural and necessary."

Harry nodded in acknowledgment of her sentiment. "Okay."

Gail turned her attention to Louis. "I'd like to hear your point of view. I'm sure this has been just as difficult for you."

"It has," Louis agreed. "I didn't even think anything could possibly be wrong when he woke me up that morning. I was convinced he was just being paranoid. Until the moment they told us the baby died, I was still sure we were on course to have the baby a few weeks later."

"I'm sure it was a lot to handle," Gail guessed.

"Yes and no," Louis said. "There were so many decisions to make, but I felt like none of them could be mine. They had to be Harry's. All I could do was be there for him."

"I couldn't have done it without you," Harry interjected forcefully. "Any of it."

"If I may ask, what was the labour and delivery like for you, Louis?" Gail wondered.

"I felt pretty helpless," Louis reported. "It was really hard to watch Harry go through all of that. Then, saying goodbye to Amelia was a whole different level of hard."

"I am so sorry you both had to go through that. I know it isn't an easy thing to deal with or recover from," the doctor said. "But I can promise to help you work through where you are to get you to where you want to be."

"Thanks," Louis told her, feeling confident for the first time in a while that they'd be able to move forward from losing Amelia. Even more important, Harry wore a less pinched look than Louis had grown accustomed to seeing on his face, hopefully feeling, like Louis, that getting help had been the right thing to do.

"So, I think we should start with a couple times a week, then see where we are in a few weeks," Gail suggested. "How does that sound?"

Once more, Louis and Harry nodded in unison. "That sounds good," Louis replied.

"Stop by my assistant's desk and set a time for later this week, and we'll keep working from where we got this morning."

When Gail stood, Harry and Louis followed suit, Harry first to reach out to shake her hand.

"Thank you so much," Louis said as he took a turn shaking Gail's hand.

"I'm glad to help," she returned warmly.

After making their next appointment, Louis and Harry walked hand in hand back out to the car park.

"So, what did you think?" Louis inquired as they stepped into the cool spring air.

"I think she'll really be able to help us." Harry turned them in the direction of their vehicle. "What do you think?"  


Louis pulled the key from his pocket to unlock the car door. "I think so, too."

They both climbed into the car, and as Harry buckled his seat belt, he turned to Louis. "Thanks for bringing me. I think this is going to be good."

Louis wanted nothing more.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

"Louis?" Harry asked as he pulled the duvet back to climb under.

"What is it, love?" Louis plugged in his mobile to charge, then picked up his own side of the duvet.

"I think I'm ready," Harry declared, turning to face Louis properly.

"For what?"

"To talk about scattering Amelia's ashes," Harry explained.

They had been seeing Gail for about two weeks, and at their session just that morning, they had discussed how they had not yet been mentally prepared to make a decision about the baby's ashes.

Louis was surprised. He had not thought Harry was there yet, and, to be honest, he wasn't certain he was either. "Really? Are you sure?"

Harry nodded and tucked the duvet up around his waist. "I've been thinking about it since we talked to Gail this morning."

"Okay," Louis said slowly. "What have you been thinking?"

"I've been thinking it would be nice to scatter her ashes in the sea," Harry said softly.

"The sea?" Louis repeated, matching Harry's quiet tone. "What made you think of that?"

Harry shrugged. "I just thought it would allow her to travel, you know, across the sea."

Louis smiled at the image of his daughter's soul getting to see the world. "I like that."

"Maybe we could go for the weekend, just you and me, and scatter them on the beach," Harry suggested.

"That sounds perfect," Louis responded. "Did you have a specific place in mind?"

"I was thinking Cornwall." Harry bit his bottom lip as he awaited Louis' reaction.

"Cornwall sounds good. A little cold, still, but it should be mostly quiet at this time of year," Louis noted. "Should give us just the right amount of privacy."

"Shall we go this coming weekend?" Harry wondered.

"Sure," Louis agreed. "I'm in. I'll get Martine to book us somewhere where we won't be disturbed."

Harry leaned over to kiss Louis. "Thanks."

"I think it's time, too," Louis told him. "I'm glad we're on the same page."

Harry smiled. "I never want to be on a different page."

Louis reached over to turn off the light on his night stand. Harry did the same.

"Come here," Louis urged, reaching out his arms.

Harry moved in eagerly, little spoon to Louis' big spoon. And for just a moment, all was right in their little world.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Martine secured them a lovely little cottage for the weekend, and Louis drove them the almost-five hours it took to get there. It was a pleasant drive filled with music provided by groups who had sent Louis CDs in hopes of being signed by his label.

Louis' assistant had also seen to it that the cottage kitchen was well-stocked with enough provisions to carry them through the long weekend. They were able to cook themselves a dinner of roast chicken and potatoes as soon as they got settled into the cottage. After dinner, they checked the weather report and decided that the next day--Saturday--would be the best day to scatter Amelia's ashes.

Neither of them got a lot of sleep that night. It was hard to determine the cause: the strange bed, the quiet outside, or anxiety over saying a final goodbye to the baby. It meant they got more rest than sleep, but they rose early and compensated for their exhaustion with coffee.

They had talked about it and pored over maps and online information and before deciding they wanted to take Amelia's ashes to Gwenver, a quiet beach near Land's End. They wanted somewhere where they were likely not to have an audience.

It was still early when they drove to Land's End and parked. Then they followed the map they pulled up on Louis' mobile to find the beach. It was a bit of a walk, but as advertised online, Gwenver was almost devoid of people, even in late April.

Harry was the one carrying the small silver urn that contained their baby girl's ashes. He toed off his shoes near a rock in the sand, then walked to the edge of the water. Louis followed suit.

The sound of crashing waves and birds overhead was soothing. There were only wispy clouds in the sky--a perfect azure blue sky. They were silent for a long while, just taking in the sounds, the sea, and the moment. Louis had no idea of what was going through Harry's mind, but in Louis' own, he was once again lamenting that they were robbed of the chance to get to know Amelia. They had planned for her, they had had hopes and dreams, they had been incredibly excited to have a child of their very own to fuss over and spoil. They both had young kids they got to play with on occasion, but they were ready for the privilege of having one twenty-four/seven.

Harry was the first one to break the silence. "This seems so final."

"It really does," Louis agreed.

Turning to Louis with tear-filled eyes, Harry asked, "How do we say goodbye?"

"Maybe it shouldn't be goodbye. Maybe it should be more like see you later," Louis suggested. "I believe that, that we'll see her later, in whatever comes after this. What do you think?"

Harry nodded. "I think so, too. I think I can handle that…see you later."

"Then let's try that."

Another comfortable silence fell over them before Harry had another question. "Do you think she's mad at us? At me?"

In their time with Gail, they had spoken of many, many things related to Harry's pregnancy and Amelia's birth, but this was not anything that had ever come up.

Louis was so stunned by the query that he didn't respond right away, prompting a nervous Harry to say, "Louis?"

"Harry." Louis waited until Harry met his gaze. "I absolutely don't think she is. I think she knows we wanted her here very much, but that it wasn't meant to be. I like to imagine that she loves us just as much as we love her."

"Okay," Harry said, seeming a little less distressed now.

"For the record, nobody blames you for anything," Louis continued on the same topic, just in case Harry had any lingering doubts. "You know that, right?"

When Harry hesitated, Louis repeated, "Right?"

"Right," Harry finally replied.

"Good."

After one more brief silence between them, Harry pulled the little urn in tight to his chest. "I think I'm ready."

Louis offered him a small smile. "I'm ready, too."

Harry looked up toward the sky. "Amelia. Baby girl. I will never, ever stop loving you. I will never, ever forget you. I hope you let the wind take you wherever you want most to go. You can show us everything you saw when we get there." He looked back at Louis and gave a quick nod to indicate it was Louis' turn to speak.

As Harry had done, Louis gazed up toward the sky, imagining Amelia looking down at them from her perch on one of the bigger clouds overhead. "Hi, baby. Like Daddy said, I won't ever forget you. You'll be in my heart always. I love you so very much."

Louis met Harry's gaze once again, then nodded. It was time.

Harry carefully lifted the lid off the urn, tucking it safely into the pocket of his jacket. He held the urn out toward Louis, and Louis held one side while Harry held the other. Together, then, they tilted the urn into the wind, and Amelia's ashes floated out, over the water's edge and over the sea. Harry and Louis watched the ashes as they drifted away until not a single speck was left.

They stood quietly on the shore for a long moment, neither quite ready to go, but eventually, Harry withdrew the lid from his pocket and replaced it on the urn. With the urn in one hand, he reached for Louis' hand with the other. Louis took it immediately, squeezing tightly.

"Let's leave her to go wherever she wants," Harry said.

"I can't wait to find out what she sees," Louis commented, smiling softly.

Hand in hand, they walked away from the beach, confident their daughter was moving on to bigger and better things. It was time for them to step forward, too.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

The sun was streaming through the sheer curtains of their cottage bedroom when Louis woke on Sunday morning. It warmed the room and for a moment, he just lay there watching dust particles float in the rays of light.

After being entranced by the dancing dust for long enough, Louis looked over to find Harry still asleep. He looked so soft and comfortable, Louis couldn't help but slip back down under the covers so he could pull Harry into his arms. Harry immediately snuggled in close, even as his breath remained slow and steady.

Louis fell asleep once again, and when he awoke this time, he could tell Harry was waking up at the same time, squirming to stay comfy in Louis' arms.

"Mmmm," Harry eventually hummed, twisting his body so he could face Louis. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Louis returned, pressing a kiss to Harry's lips. Impulsively, then, he kissed Harry again.

With lazy morning slowness, Harry joined in, and for the first time in a very long while, they shared a proper kiss. It didn't matter that they hadn't yet brushed their teeth, it was just nice to connect with each other in a way that neither of them had felt since before Amelia had been born.

Emboldened by the success of his amorous move, Louis decided to see if Harry was in the mood to go just a little bit further. He reached out to press his palm to Harry's chest. When Harry didn't balk at that, Louis let his hand drift down until he came across the waistband of Harry's boxers.

Teasingly, Louis tugged at the pants, but he soon found that he'd hit Harry's wall. Harry backed up, breathing heavily. "I…can't," he lamented. "Not yet. I'm sorry."

Louis pulled his hand back up and used it to cup Harry's cheek. "You don't need to apologise. This will take some time."

"But I am sorry," Harry insisted.

"I know," Louis said, lifting his hand from Harry's face to stroke Harry's arm softly.

"The kissing was nice, though," Harry confessed. "We could do that a little more."

Harry's wish was Louis' command.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Something changed after their long weekend in Cornwall. Harry started getting up early again, and he resumed his position as chief cook of the house. He didn't seem quite ready to go out and start songwriting with anyone, but he did occasionally pick up his guitar and tinker with some songs. Louis couldn't imagine anything sounding quite as sweet as music by Harry filling the house.

They continued to see Gail twice a week. It seemed to be helping Harry, and it was definitely helping Louis. She had wonderful insight and offered a lot of different suggestions for getting through the various emotional hurdles they seemed to come across on a daily basis. She was a godsend they wouldn't be giving up anytime soon.

It was early May when Louis got an offer to go do some more songwriting with Steve Aoki. He had loved working with Steve before, and he was excited by the prospect of getting to work with him again. If this call had come in early April, he would not have felt confident telling Steve that he could do that, but now, in May, he told Steve he wanted to talk it over with Harry, but he thought they could work something out.

On the day Steve rang, Harry fixed them grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and they sat at the kitchen table to eat them.

As usual, the sandwich was cooked to perfection. Louis held up the triangle he'd bit the corner off of. "If you ever want a second career as a chef, I think you could make millions. This is amazing."

Harry grinned at the compliment. "Thank you. I'm glad it turned out."

They ate in silence for a few minutes. When his grilled cheese was almost gone, Louis decided to broach the topic of work. "So, I got a call from Steve. Aoki," he clarified.

"Oh?" Harry raised his eyebrows in interest.

"He wanted to get together for some writing," Louis explained. He trained his eyes on Harry, anxiously awaiting his response.

"That's great," Harry said, a small smile on his face. "You really liked working with him."

Louis smiled himself, remembering the fun time he had working with Steve the first time. "I did."

"Then you should definitely do it," Harry insisted.

"Are you sure?" Louis checked. "He wants to do more than one song this time. It could take a while."

"Go for it," Harry told him. "I'll be fine."

Louis took another bite of his sandwich. "Okay, then. I'll ring him back and say I'm in."

"Besides," Harry went on, "I've been working on some stuff of my own."

"I noticed you with the guitar," Louis teased.

Harry stuck his tongue out at Louis, and Louis' heart constricted at the thought that he might be at the start of getting his husband back again. It was about time.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Louis had been working all week with Steve, and each night, he'd come home to a cuddly and, more importantly, happy Harry. Harry would tell him about spending the day working on some songs of his own, along with some solo visits to Gail to continue to work on his emotional recovery.

By Friday, they were both exhausted for the very best reasons, and they made it an early night, climbing into bed together, Harry crawling into Louis' arms underneath the duvet after they turned out the lights. Spring was definitely underway, but it was still a little chilly at night, so sharing body heat was quite welcome.

"So, do you think you and Steve have another hit on your hands?" Harry inquired.

"Hard to say," Louis replied. "I think we've got a couple which really stand out. We're going to do some recording next week, see what we've got."

"I'll bet they're wonderful songs. The two of you work so well together," Harry said. Louis could hear the smile in his voice.

"I think so, too," Louis agreed, pulling Harry in just a little tighter. "How about you? You think you've got something you could record?"

Louis felt Harry shrug as he explained, "I don't know. I feel like these songs may just be mine…and maybe yours."

"That's good, too." Louis kissed Harry's forehead.

Harry responded by twisting in Louis' grip so he could kiss Louis' mouth. Not for the first time since they'd begun working things through with Gail, the kissing quickly shifted from chaste to passionate.

Unlike back at their Cornwall cottage, when Louis reached for the waistband of Harry's boxers, Harry was willing to let Louis help him out of them. Then Harry helped Louis out of his.

It had been long enough since they'd been intimate in this way, they were both hard in no time. Louis tentatively brought his hand to Harry's erection. "Are you okay with this?" he whispered. "We can stop whenever you want."

Harry gasped at Louis' touch. "I'm fine."

Slowly, Louis wrapped his hand around Harry's cock and stroked him, enjoying the little moans escaping from Harry's mouth. It was not long at all before Harry gave a small cry and came in Louis' hand.

Louis went to get himself off when Harry stalled his hand. "I want you inside me."

If it was possible, Harry's words made Louis even harder. "Are you sure?"

"Just make sure we have a condom," Harry replied, his tone decisive. To prove his point, he moved up onto hands and knees.

Louis wasted no time rolling over to reach inside his night stand drawer, praying that there were some condoms inside. It had been a very long time since they'd actually used one, though they did on occasion to draw out intercourse. His hand landed on a box, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He waved the box in Harry's direction. "Got it!"

"Check the expiry date," Harry ordered.

Louis used the torch on his mobile to check the date and breathed another sigh of relief. The box didn't expire for another six months. "We're good to go."

Harry smiled at Louis, his face beautiful in the moonlight streaming through the windows, then he turned over to give Louis access to his bum. Harry couldn't see Louis' smile, but he surely could hear it when Louis teased him. "My, we're eager tonight."

"Louis…."

Reaching into the drawer one more time, Louis pulled a tube of lubricant out and made quick work of coating his index finger. Placing his finger just at the rim of Harry's entrance, Louis did another check. "You ready?"

"I am," Harry assured him.

It had been at least three and half months since they'd done this. The last time had been when Harry was about thirty-five weeks pregnant. After that, he'd just been too uncomfortable. Louis was mindful of this gap in time as he slowly pressed his finger inside Harry.

Harry was quite tight, and he gasped as Louis began to work his finger in. "You okay?" Louis inquired, stilling his finger momentarily.

"Mmhm. Keep going."

Louis was excellent at following orders, and he continued to stretch Harry out, adding in a second finger, then a third. When it was clear Harry was comfortable, Louis sought out his prostate. Harry jumped as Louis located the familiar nub and ran his middle finger over it. Louis repeated the action, receiving the same delightful response.

"You need to get in quick, Lou. I'm not going to last much longer," Harry warned.

Louis reached his free hand around Harry's waist to find Harry was hard once again. He withdrew each of his hands from Harry long enough to roll a condom over his own throbbing dick and slick it up with lube. Then he placed his tip at Harry's entrance. "Now?" Louis asked.

"Now." Harry thrust back enough to begin drawing Louis inside. Louis took the hint and pushed in little by little until he'd gone as deep as he could go. He paused for just a moment to allow Harry to get used to his girth, then began pulling out and pushing back in at a steady pace. For good measure he returned his hand to Harry's cock and wrapped his hand around it to begin a rhythm that matched what he was giving Harry's bum.

Unsurprisingly, it was not long before Harry was warning him, "I'm close."

Louis grinned and sped up his rhythm, both by hand and by dick. When Harry came, it was with a long, satisfied moan. As he clenched around Louis' member, Louis came, too, hard and fast. It was the best thing he'd felt in months.

He didn't slip out right away. Instead, he hugged Harry in tight, manoeuvring them so they were big spoon and little spoon on their sides. Harry relaxed in Louis' arms, and Louis reluctantly pulled out of Harry's hole.

"That was amazing," Harry extolled on an exhale.

"It really was," Louis couldn't help but agree.

"Thank you," Harry went on, taking Louis's hand in his and pulling it up so he could kiss it.

"Thank _you_." Though he was copying Harry's words, they were no less sincere. "Shall I get something to clean us off before we pass out?"

"You get the flannels, and I'll get a new bottom sheet," Harry suggested.

"Deal." Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's temple, then scooted off the bed and headed toward the bathroom.

In no time, they were cleaned off and climbing back onto a fresh sheet, cuddling up just as they'd started out before they'd gotten amorous.

"How do you feel?" Louis whispered as he held Harry tight.

"I feel good," Harry answered. "I feel more like me."

"Me, too."

Louis knew they'd just taken a big step together; he couldn't wait for more.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

By mid-summer, Louis was not the only one getting out to do some writing and recording. Harry had contacted the guys he'd written his first album with and invited them all to come to London to work with him on some new music. They had readily accepted, and Harry had rented out a loft for them to create in.

They were seeing Gail still, but just once a week now, and mostly just to check in and make sure they continued to move in a forward motion, more or less.

At one of their sessions, they talked about how they'd been intimate again now for a couple months, and how it was really strengthening their bond and holding them together. Gail encouraged them to keep a dialogue open about their lovemaking so one of them didn't go to a place the other wasn't ready for.

What they didn't have time to discuss at that session was the idea of trying for another baby. Now that it had been about five months since they'd lost Amelia, the concept of a new child weighed on Louis' mind.

It was a beautiful sunny day, and it was almost lunchtime when they left Gail's office, and Louis suggested they stop at a small café near their home for a bite to eat. Harry agreed easily, and they secured themselves a table on the patio behind the café and ordered burgers and fries, then sat back to relax.

Louis sipped at his soda. "I can't believe how gorgeous it is out." It had been raining cats and dogs for almost a week, so this was a wonderful change.

"I know. This beats London rain any day," Harry stated with a smile.

"It really does." Louis pulled in a deep breath and let it out slowly, just enjoying the moment.

After taking a sip of his own drink, Harry commented, "That was a good session with Gail, yeah?"

Unwittingly, Harry was playing right into Louis' hands. "It was," he concurred. "Although it's always a little awkward discussing our...," he furtively checked to see if anyone was listening in, "...sex life with other people."

Harry giggled. "Yeah. But she's a professional. I'm sure she's heard just about everything."

"I'm guessing I know what she'll want to talk about next," Louis said, leading the conversation exactly where he wanted it to go.

Arching his eyebrows, Harry prompted Louis to go on. "What?"

Louis lowered the boom. "When we might try to have another baby." His insides immediately tensed as he waited to hear what Harry would say.

The blood drained from Harry's face, and he swallowed audibly. It didn't take long, however, for him to compose himself and sigh. "You're probably right. She will want us to talk about that."

After a brief pause, Louis said, "We don't need to wait until Gail brings it up, you know. We could talk about it now."

With clear hesitation, Harry ventured, "Okay." It was as good as Louis was going to get.

"What do you think?" Louis asked. "About trying for another baby."

Harry shook his head. "I'm not ready yet."

"But one day…?" Louis prompted.

"One day…maybe," Harry allowed carefully.

Louis reached across the table and Harry understood, giving Louis his hand. "As long as you're open to the idea, we can wait as long as you need to."

"I have thought about it," Harry confessed, squeezing Louis' hand before pulling away. "I just can't help worrying that something bad will happen, just like it did with Amelia."

"The doctor said that was pretty unlikely," Louis reminded him.

"I know. Doesn't keep me from worrying, though." Harry sighed and took a sip of water.

At that moment, their waitress appeared with their food, deftly setting it down, then leaving them to eat.

Instead of picking up his burger, Harry had a question. "Is it okay for us to wait? Are you okay with that?"

"Absolutely," Louis assured him. "We're young. We've got plenty of time."

Harry shot him a small smile. "Thanks."

Louis pulled the toothpick from the centre of his Kaiser roll. "This burger looks amazing."

"Mine, too."

"Let's eat, then."

Harry took a big bite of his burger in response. "Mmm," he moaned through his bite. "Perfect."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

"Honey, I'm home!" Louis called out when he entered the house. He got no reply, so he toed off his shoes right next to the door and ventured into the lounge.

The TV was on, but Harry was nowhere to be found. "Harry!" he called out. Still no response.

Louis checked the kitchen and the music room, with no luck. He headed upstairs, only a little concerned.

Harry had been working with his group of co-writers for a few weeks, and it had been going really well. He refused to play any of the songs for Louis yet, but he promised he'd be ready soon. He still had down days once in a while, but on the whole, he was feeling good. He and Louis continued to be a solid team, sharing their ups and downs and working hard not to keep anything from each other. Their relationship was on an even keel--in all areas.

But Harry did have those down days, and Louis hoped this wasn't one of them, always a possibility when Louis came home and didn't find Harry watching a cheesy romance on TV or cooking dinner.

He walked into the bedroom, but still no sign of his husband. The light was on in their en suite, though. As soon as he stepped in the doorway, he found the object of his search hunched over the toilet bowl.

Louis immediately moved in to crouch down next to Harry. "Hey, love. I'm here. What do you need?"

Harry dry heaved into the toilet before answering, "For you to untie the knots from my stomach."

Louis moaned in sympathy. "You poor thing. When did this start?"

"Mid-afternoon," Harry said, sounding incredibly miserable. "It started off as just a little nausea, but by the time I got home, it got worse."

"Sounds like stomach flu," Louis concluded. "Here, let me get a flannel…." He stood up and ran a cloth under some cold water, then returned to Harry's side, crouching back down and placing the folded flannel on the back of Harry's neck.

"Mmm, that feels good," Harry sighed, resting his bum on the backs of his feet, his head bowed and resting on the toilet seat so Louis could keep the cloth in place.

They stayed in this position for a few minutes, then Louis asked, "Think you can get up, maybe lie down for a bit?"

Harry thought about it for a moment. "Yes," he finally said.

"Good. Let me help." Louis threw the flannel to the side to pick up later, then he guided a trembling Harry to his feet and into the bedroom, depositing him carefully on the bed. Harry was under the duvet in no time.

"You think you could handle some tea, perhaps some crackers?" Louis wondered.

"I can try." Harry squirmed to get comfortable under the covers.

"Try to rest, then. I'll be back in a tick with some tea and crackers. We'll see if we can't calm your tummy down." Louis leaned down to kiss Harry's cheek before hurrying out of the room and back downstairs.

He had a patient to attend to.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Harry couldn't seem to shake whatever stomach bug he'd picked up. For a week straight, he spent much of the day nauseated, and he had a hard time keeping food down. He had to take a break from his songwriting to convalesce, but it was killing him to pause it when everything was going so well.

When Harry entered a second week of illness, Louis insisted they visit the doctor. The over-the-counter medicine Louis had picked up wasn't making a dent in Harry's nausea, nor was it keeping him from throwing up daily. Harry felt so bad, he didn't argue when Louis rang their GP to make an appointment.

Luckily, the doctor was able to see them the very morning after Louis rang, so Louis bundled a pale Harry into the car bright and early, and they drove over, both of them hoping their GP could offer a cure for Harry's misery.

Harry had the first appointment, so they were seen into Dr. Watson's office directly upon arriving. She had been both Harry and Louis' GP ever since they'd moved to London back when they were sixteen and eighteen, so she knew them very well.

With a quick knock on the door, she entered the room, a warm smile on her face. "Good morning, gentlemen."

"Morning, Dr. Watson," they chorused back.

"So, what brings you here today?" Dr. Watson wanted to know.

"I've got a very persistent stomach bug," Harry informed her. "Lots of nausea and throwing up, and it doesn't seem to be getting better."

"Ah," she said. "How long has this lasted?"

"More than a week," Harry replied, wrinkling his nose in displeasure and holding his hand to his stomach as a wave of nausea passed over him.

Carefully--as the doctor well knew what had happened in February--she asked, "Is there a chance you could be pregnant? As I recall, this is just what happened last year, you thought you had a stomach bug, but it wasn't."

Both Harry and Louis shook their heads. "We've been religious about using protection," Louis assured her.

"We're waiting on another baby for a while longer," Harry added. "I'm not really ready to go through that again any time soon."

Dr. Watson nodded. "I completely understand. So, why don't we do some tests to see what could be going on? Maybe I can give you some prescription anti-nausea medicine, something a little stronger that might kick whatever you've caught."

"Okay," Harry agreed.

Dr. Watson did a quick exam--which Harry asked Louis to stay for, just in case he thought of questions or answers Harry couldn't think of--then sent in a nurse to draw some blood. Harry was asked to provide a urine sample, then they were asked to wait there in the exam room for the preliminary results.

"Hopefully this isn't something serious," Harry commented in a tone laced with anxiety.

Louis reached for his hand. "I'm sure it's just a tenacious stomach virus. Dr. Watson will give you some nice, strong drugs, and you'll kick its arse in no time."

Harry chuckled. "I hope you're right."

As another wave of nausea assaulted him, Harry closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Louis sat beside him, lending him support and offering him sympathy.

The nausea was easing up a bit--Harry didn't think he was going to throw up right there in the doctor's office, fitting though that may have been--when Dr. Watson returned, clipboard in hand.

Her face was hard to read, so Louis couldn't make a guess as to what she might be about to reveal. He tried hard to tamp down his nerves as she checked her notes before speaking.

"So, I do have some results here which explain what's been going on with you, Harry," Dr. Watson said. "First, I'm bound to check to make sure you don't want me to give you these results privately."

Harry exchanged a look with Louis, who said, "I can wait outside if you want me to."

"No," Harry stated firmly. "Whatever it is, we’re in it together, right?"

"Absolutely," Louis confirmed. He still had hold of Harry's hand, and he squeezed it tightly.

They both looked back at the doctor, ready to hear whatever it was she had to say.

"Okay, then," she said. "Harry, it looks like you're pregnant."

Harry blinked rapidly at her. "That isn't possible. We've been careful every single time. Every. Single. Time," he emphasised.

"I'm sure you were," the doctor smiled understandingly, "but as I'm sure you know, nothing is one hundred percent effective."

"Is there any chance the tests results could be wrong?" Harry checked.

"I don't think so," she answered. "We'll send samples out to the lab to be sure, though."

Harry's breathing changed rapidly enough that Louis was worried he was about to hyperventilate. "Calm down, love," he said in as soothing a tone as he could find when he, himself, was flipping out just a little. "Everything's going to be okay. Can you take a deep breath?"

Following Louis' direction, Harry pulled in one shaky deep breath, then another, then another. When his breathing evened out, he looked at Louis with tears in his eyes and said, "I'm not ready yet, Louis. I don't know if I can do this."

Louis reached for Harry's free hand with his own, so they were double holding hands. "Why don't we take one step at a time? We can call Dr. Feldman and get a second opinion. Then we can go from there." Dr. Feldman was the obstetrician who had seen Harry through his first pregnancy, and they both liked her very much.

Harry nodded slowly. "Okay."

"That's a great idea," Dr. Watson chimed in. "In the meantime, I'll prescribe some anti-nausea medication which should help with how you've been feeling."

"Thanks."

She touched a hand to Harry's knee. "Everything else seems fine, Harry. Just try to take it easy until you can learn more from your obstetrician."

"I'll try," Harry promised.

"Call my office if you need anything else," the doctor told him before taking her leave of them and going to tend to her other patients.

"I'll call Dr. Feldman as soon as we get to the car," Louis assured Harry now they were alone. "Maybe they got the test wrong. If they didn't, then we'll deal with it, okay?"

"Okay," Harry replied with a nod.

"Let's go, then. We'll get your meds and get you back to bed," Louis suggested.

Harry nodded once more and, retaining one of Louis' hands, slid off the exam table.

Before Harry could move to step out of the office, Louis used his hold on Harry's hand to keep him in place. He waited for Harry's gaze to meet his. "We can deal with whatever's thrown at us. Together, yeah?"

Hauling in a deep breath, Harry hesitantly agreed, "Yeah."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

In a stroke of luck, Dr. Feldman was able to fit them in first thing the very next morning. Louis was able to distract Harry for the rest of the day with loud action movies, encouragement to nap, and pizza. In no time at all, they found themselves in an exam room in Dr. Feldman's practice. They filled her in on how they were and why they were there, making sure she knew that they very definitely hadn't planned on visiting her again quite this soon.

After their visit with the doctor, her nurses performed all the same tests as Dr. Watson's nurses had, then Harry and Louis waited as patiently as they could to see if Dr. Watson's diagnosis was on target or not.

Harry started out sat on the exam table holding Louis' hand, but by the time Dr. Feldman reappeared with her trusty tablet in hand, Harry was silently pacing the small room, Louis just silently sitting by, ready for when Harry needed him.

Harry reclaimed his seat on the exam table and grabbed for Louis' hand again, regarding the doctor warily. Louis didn't even know what to hope she said. If Harry was pregnant, they would be facing nine anxiety-ridden months. If he wasn't, they would have to deal with the stress of a pregnancy scare, a definite step back in their joined recovery.

"Well, gentlemen, I have the results of Harry's tests," the doctor stated.

"And…?" Louis urged her to just get the news out there.

Just as Dr. Watson had, Dr. Feldman checked to make sure Harry didn't want the news on his own. Harry once again stated that he wanted Louis there. The doctor nodded, then offered her findings. "Our tests were conclusive. It looks like your GP was correct, Harry. You're pregnant."

Wasting no time, Louis immediately asked Harry, "You okay?"

It took him a second, but Harry nodded. "I kind of expected that to be the result."

Dr. Feldman interjected, "I know this is a lot for you, and that you weren't planning on this quite yet, but why don't we do an ultrasound and see what's going on?"

"Okay," Harry agreed, already starting to lean back on the table, practiced at this procedure.

The doctor fired up the ultrasound machine, then urged Harry to lift his shirt, squeezing gel just under his butterfly tattoo. "Ready?" she inquired.

"As ready as I'm going to be." Harry reached for Louis' hand again, Louis glad there was something he could do in this moment.

It didn't take Dr. Feldman long at all to find what she was searching for with her wand. With her free hand, she pointed to a dark spot with a peanut-sized light spot tethered to it. "There it is. Your baby."

Louis felt the breath catch in his throat at the sight of the tiny being in Harry's belly. He had had this feeling before, when they had first found out about Amelia. It was a feeling of intense love, but this time, it was mixed with an incredible amount of worry. He knew what could go wrong now. He couldn't approach this with pure excitement. Not knowing what he did.

"Louis…," Harry whispered.

With that one word, Louis knew he and Harry were on the same page. "I know," Louis whispered back. It was amazing--and terrifying.

The doctor allowed the couple another minute to process what was happening, then she reported, "It looks like you're about eight weeks along. Does that make sense?"

Louis did some quick mental calculations. It was almost the end of September, so they must have conceived sometime in late July or early August. They had definitely been back on track in the bedroom by then. "Yeah, that makes sense," he answered the doctor's question.

"Is the baby okay?" Harry asked, his eyes never leaving the monitor.

"The baby looks wonderful," Dr. Feldman replied. "Everything looks right on target for eight weeks. And the computer's telling me that your due date is the 8th of May."

"A spring baby," Louis commented. At least that part was different, making it _other_ , which was surprisingly welcome.

"Dr. Feldman," Harry began, "how likely is it that something like what happened before will happen again?"

"It isn't likely at all," she answered. "The chances are very, very small. Chances are much better that you'll have a healthy baby this time."

"Is there anything I can do to make sure that happens?" Harry inquired in a tone that was a good bit more intense than usual, though Louis certainly understood.

"Nothing more than you did last time. Eat healthy, exercise, take vitamins, be conscious of what your body is telling you in terms of needing rest. I don't see any reason you shouldn't expect to deliver a healthy baby next May," Dr. Feldman assured him.

Harry nodded.

"I completely understand any anxiety you may be feeling," the doctor went on, "but please remember, I am here for you. We'll keep a sharp eye on things, and I am confident we can get you to term." She pressed a button to print out a couple ultrasound photos, handing them over to Louis. Then she handed Harry a flannel to clean off his tummy.

"Thanks," Harry said, his much more usual sincerity shining through. He pulled down his shirt and sat up, dangling his legs over the edge of the exam table again.

"Unless you have any other questions, I'm comfortable sending you home with some recommendations for vitamins and a refill for the nausea pills your GP gave you," Dr. Feldman told him.

Harry looked over at Louis, "I don't have any other questions right now. Louis?"

Louis took a few seconds to think, then shook his head. "I'm sure I'll think of something later, but nothing comes to mind now."

"Then on your way out, make an appointment for about four weeks from now, and we'll see how you're faring going into your second trimester. In the meantime, don't hesitate to call with absolutely any questions you have," she insisted. "And remember, no question is stupid."

Louis reached a hand out to shake the doctor's. "Thank you so much."

Harry followed suit, jumping off the exam table and shaking the doctor's hand. "Thanks for everything."

"No problem, gentlemen. I'll see you in a month." And with that, she left them alone.

"So, how're you doing?" Louis inquired of his husband.

"I honestly don't really know," Harry replied.

"It's big news," Louis stated. "Unexpected big news."

"How are you doing?" Harry turned the question around.

Louis shrugged. "About the same as you."

Harry started to walk toward the door, but he stopped suddenly, looking back at where Louis was right behind him. "She never said congratulations," he noted with some surprise.

Now that Louis thought about it, he realised Harry was correct. "I guess she knew this wasn't exactly what we planned and didn't want to make us uncomfortable."

"That makes sense," Harry said, moving forward again, reaching for the door handle.

It was Louis who stopped this time, grabbing Harry's forearm gently. Harry regarded Louis curiously.

"We're going to be fine," Louis told him. "We can do this. More importantly, you can do this."

"I wish I thought that," Harry confessed, sounding upset with himself.

"You don't have to yet," Louis assured him. "One day at a time, all right?"

Harry managed a small smile. "All right."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

When they got home from finding out that Harry was, indeed, with child again, Louis made them cups of coffee (for himself) and herbal tea (for Harry), then they snuggled up together on the sofa. Each of them was processing the news in their own way.

A comfortable silence took over, only broken when Harry declared, "I don't want to tell anyone right away."

"Are you worried something might happen?" Louis asked.

"Yes, but that's not the only reason why," Harry said.

"What else?" Louis prompted.

"I know everyone's going to be excited," Harry explained, sipping at his drink, "but I'm not sure I'm ready yet for all the people telling me--us--that they're sure everything will work out fine this time. They don't know that."

"Yeah, I feel the same way. We can keep it to ourselves," Louis agreed. "We have at least another month or two before you'll start to show."

"Is that selfish?" Harry wondered aloud. "To keep it to ourselves, I mean."

Louis shook his head. "I don't think so. We're not obligated to tell anyone. This can be all ours for as long as we want."

Harry put a hand on his stomach. "I can't believe this is happening."

Louis placed his hand over Harry's. "I can't either. I suppose…. I suppose maybe it was meant to be."

"What if something goes wrong, Louis?" Harry looked Louis straight in the eye and Louis saw profound worry. "What if I miscarry? What if the baby dies just like Amelia did?"

Louis held Harry's gaze intently. "You heard Dr. Feldman, Harry. The chances of something happening again are small."

"But there are chances, Louis," Harry pointed out. "There's not a hundred percent chance things will go well."

"That's true, I guess," Louis allowed, "but we can't live every second like something bad might happen. That's not like you anyway."

Harry sighed. "I know. It's just…so soon. I wasn't quite ready to be pregnant again."

"I know, but you can do this," Louis insisted. "Until everything went wrong in February, you did amazing."

"I did like being pregnant," Harry recalled with some reluctance.

Louis grabbed Harry's hands in his own. "Listen, I know it's not going to be easy. I know there will be rough moments, maybe even rough days or weeks, but at the end, if we're really lucky this time, we'll get to bring a baby home."

"You really think we'll be lucky this time?" Harry bit his bottom lip nervously.

"I really think we deserve to be," Louis told him.

"Are you okay with this, Louis?" Harry questioned him.

Louis nodded. "I think I am."

"Okay, then." Harry drew in a deep breath. "Let's do this." His voice was shaky, but he sounded determined.

"We don't have to be okay with it all at once," Louis pointed out.

"Right," Harry acknowledged, sitting back and reaching for his mug.

"Now, sip your tea, and I'll get _Stranger Things_ cued up. I still can't believe we're only getting to this now." Louis picked up the remote from the side table.

Harry sipped at his tea, as ordered. "Well, we have the whole day to catch up."

"Then let's get started."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

For the next month or so, it felt to Louis like he was continually peeling Harry from the ceiling. Despite his determination to see this through, Harry was a bundle of nerves. He seemed convinced that something was going to happen to the new baby.

He would wake Louis in the middle of the night stating that he felt off, and Louis would groggily try to calm Harry down enough to go back to sleep. Occasionally, Harry's "morning" sickness would be particularly violent, and Louis would have to convince Harry it was nothing to be concerned about. Or Harry would read something online about pregnancy that got him worried, and Louis would have to remind him that the internet was not the best place to get information.

All of this notwithstanding, Harry made it to the end of his first trimester, and a visit with Dr. Feldman assured them that both Harry and the baby were in great health at the start of his second. They even got to hear the baby's heartbeat, which was a relief. It was yet another sign that everything was going smoothly.

The doctor reminded them that most problems resulting in loss of a baby happened in the first trimester--though not all problems--and Harry was able to relax a little. He was already back at work, as was Louis, and the milestone helped both of them to be less distracted and get more done.

They tried to arrange it so neither of them were working on the weekend, and they enjoyed a lie-in on a Saturday in early November. The weather outside was chilly, but their duvet was warm as Louis pulled Harry into his arms for a snuggle.

"Mmm, that feels nice," Harry commented, wiggling to secure himself in Louis' embrace.

Louis' hand drifted to Harry's stomach, as it was wont to do these days, and he gasped as he spread his hand out.

"What?" Harry was immediately on guard.

Louis moved his hands away from Harry to sit up in the bed, and Harry followed suit. Once they were upright, Louis returned his hand to Harry's belly, checking. "Look," he urged, lifting his hand so Harry could see.

Harry looked down. Sure enough, sometime overnight, his stomach had popped. He put his own hand over the tiny bump. "Wow."

"Our little miracle," Louis said in a hushed tone.

They sat quietly for a moment, revelling in this outward sign of their impending fatherhood. After a while, Harry broke the silence. "We should start to tell people."

"Really?" Louis was surprised. He had expected for it to take more than a tiny bump to get Harry to share the news. "You'll still be able to hide that for a while."

"I know," Harry said. "But it feels more real now, and I feel bad keeping this from our family, our friends."

"It's okay for it to be ours a while longer," Louis countered. "No one will blame us for waiting."

"I know," Harry said again. "Do you want to still keep it a secret?"

With a shrug, Louis offered him a small smile. "I do kind of like having something secret between us, something happy."

Harry sent a soft smile back.

"I'm fine keeping it a secret," Louis went on. "But if you're ready to share, I'm okay with that, too."

"Maybe we just start with family," Harry suggested. "Swear them to secrecy. We can tell our friends a little later, when I can't hide it anymore."

"That works for me," Louis said. "How do you want to tell them?"

Harry thought about for a moment, then said, "I'd like to at least tell my mum and your mum in person."

Louis nodded. "That would be nice. Why don't we visit them next weekend? Yours, then mine. We can tell them we miss them. They'll buy that."

Harry chuckled and shook his head. "No, they won't. They'll know something's up, but that's okay."

"We can tell our sisters once our mums know," Louis concluded their plan.

"That sounds good to me," Harry stated before executing a huge yawn. "I think the little bump and I need a little more sleep before facing the day."

"I could handle a little more sleep myself." Louis settled himself back down and encouraged Harry back into his arms.

In no time at all, they had all fallen back to sleep, Louis, Harry, and the little bump.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Harry's mum was surprised that Harry and Louis wanted to come visit, but she sounded excited by the prospect, so the men packed their bags and left just after dawn on the following Saturday morning to make the drive up to Cheshire, making it there a little before ten a.m.

Anne greeted them at the door with hugs and kisses, then guided them back into the kitchen, where they found Robin sipping tea at the island. That wasn't a surprise, since he lived there. What was a surprise was that he was chatting to Louis' mum. They had not expected to see her until the next day, and they were both thrilled to see her early.

In no time, they were all sitting in the lounge with cups of tea; Harry had claimed a little nausea to get himself a nice herbal tea.

"How did you know to come here, Mum?" Louis asked, setting his mug down on the nearby coffee table.

"Anne called and said you were both coming up today," Jay explained. "And I said you were coming down to mine tomorrow. We figured you had news of some kind, so Anne suggested I come up so we could hear it together."

Harry smiled knowingly at Louis. "I told you they wouldn't buy the story that we just missed them."

"So we were right?" Anne checked, sipping at her own drink. "There is news?"

Harry looked back at his mother and nodded. "There is."

When neither Harry nor Louis revealed why they were there on this random Saturday, Jay spoke up again. "Well, don't keep us in suspense. What is it? New projects? New albums coming out? New tour?"

Louis exchanged a look with Harry, and Louis silently indicated that Harry should be the one to spill the beans. Harry nodded back his understanding.

Harry and Louis both gazed back at their combined family. Anne, Jay, and Robin all regarded them with eager interest, ready, no doubt, to cheer them or commiserate with them as the situation called for.

Harry pulled in a deep breath. With a steady voice, then, he answered their question. "New baby." He placed his hand on his stomach for emphasis.

Anne and Jay looked like twins as their hands flew up to cover their mouths at exactly the same time. As was his habit, Robin stayed quiet, waiting until he knew more about the general feeling of the room before he commented himself.

Louis and Harry gave their parents time to process what Harry had announced. Louis sensed that Harry was just as nervous as Louis was to hear their reaction.

Anne recovered first, lowering her hand back to her lap. In a careful voice, she inquired about the things Louis suspected were foremost in his own mother's mind, too. "How are you two feeling about this? Was it planned?"

Both Louis and Harry shook their heads, with Louis adding, "The only plan we had was to wait a little longer before trying again."

"I didn't quite believe the doctor when she said I was pregnant again," Harry told them. "I just thought I had a really bad stomach flu. We'd been so careful. I didn’t think there was any chance we could have an accident."

Jay jumped in to repeat Anne's earlier question. "So, how are you feeling about this?"

Harry blew out a puff of air. "At first, all I could think about was what happened the last time I was pregnant and whether or not it could happen again. But I think I'm getting used to the idea."

"Louis?" Jay prompted him for his answer.

"I'm getting used to it, too. I was as surprised as Harry," Louis revealed. "We'd talked about another baby, but we had decided to wait. Like Harry said, we were being really careful."

"Accidents happen," Jay noted reasonably.

"Apparently so," Louis agreed wryly.

"When are you due?" Anne wanted to know.

"8th May," Harry replied. "Just under six months from now."

"So, can we offer congratulations?" Robin interjected, apparently having sat back to listen just enough that he felt comfortable speaking up.

Harry smiled softly at him. "Sure."

Thus given permission, there were hugs all around. Once each of the parents had had a chance to hug both Louis and Harry, they all sat back down. The emotion filling the room was light, and for the first time since Dr. Watson had announced Harry's pregnancy, Louis allowed himself a glimmer of excitement. The blush on Harry's cheeks indicated it was possible he felt the same.

"I know you must both be very nervous," Anne said, cupping her mug in her hands. "What you've been through this year has been tough. But I believe things happen for a reason, so I think this new little one was meant to be."

"I agree one hundred percent," Jay added in her two pence. "And remember, we're all here for you."

"Thanks," Harry and Louis chorused.

"We're counting on that," Harry commented, his tone serious.

"So, now that you've given us your news, do you have to go back home, or are you staying?" Anne asked, grinning widely.

With a sly grin, Harry started to push himself up off the couch. "Yeah, we're out of here." He couldn't maintain this ruse even for a minute, settling himself right down again. "Just kidding. It's been too long since we visited."

"Then why don't you two catch up with Robin while Jay and I go to get some groceries for a very special celebratory dinner?" Anne suggested.

The idea of a celebration was a happy one. Harry and Louis had been so surprised by the news and anxious about the outcome that they really hadn't taken any time to rejoice that their family was, hopefully, going to grow by one.

Now seemed the perfect time to rectify that situation.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Telling their parents--and, subsequently, their sisters (and brother)--was the best idea they had had in quite some time. Not only were they support, particularly for Harry--who could lay some of his worries on Anne--but they were amazing cheerleaders.

They were all so very excited about the prospect of another baby. Like Louis and Harry, their enthusiasm was tempered by the memory of Amelia. They were removed enough, however, that they were able to have wishes and dreams for the baby (Ernest, for example, wanted it to be a boy). All of this spilled onto Louis and Harry, allowing them to start thinking positive and envisioning bringing a baby home. Envisioning how this time might be different.

Emboldened by the success of telling their family, Harry and Louis decided to tell Niall and Liam what was going on. They invited them to the house for a pre-holiday season dinner at the start of December.

Harry wore a loose shirt to hide his growing belly, but he couldn't get away with that for very much longer. He was really only getting away with it now because it was so cold out, and jumpers and sweatshirts were perfectly acceptable for the weather, and they didn't need to be tight.

Their bandmates arrived together, Liam having driven both of them in his new SUV. They all shared hugs, Harry trying hard not to let either Niall or Liam feel his stomach.

"How are things going?" Niall asked as they all walked into the lounge.

"They're going well," Louis said, taking a seat on the sofa.

Niall and Liam took the easy chairs, while Harry sat down next to Louis. "I'm just about ready to go into the studio to start recording," Harry informed them with a grin.

"That's awesome," Liam commented. "How about you, Louis?"

"I'm still writing, but I think by the beginning of the new year, I'll be ready for the studio, too," Louis said. Suddenly remembering he was the host, he inquired, "Does anyone want a drink? Beer? Wine? Soda?"

"I'll take a beer," Liam answered.

"Me, too," Niall said. "Thanks."

"H?" Louis checked, already standing to head to the kitchen.

"Just water, please," Harry requested. "I'm a wee bit queasy."

"Got it." Louis sped to the kitchen and fetched two beers and two waters. He loved a good beer as much as anyone, but he wanted to be clear-headed for this announcement, and at the same time, he wanted to show solidarity with Harry.

Once everyone had a drink to sip at, Louis questioned Liam and Niall after their progress on their various projects.

"Promo begins mid-January," Niall told them. "I'm really excited for the new single. I'll play it for you tonight, in fact. Give you a sneak preview."

"Excellent," Louis said. "And you, Li? Your tour starts soon, doesn't it?"

"Right after New Year's," Liam confirmed. "I'm playing these little venues. It should be a lot of fun."

"We'll come when you play London," Harry promised.

Liam grinned. "I'd like that."

"So, you two seem to be in a good place," Niall noted.

The last time they'd all been together was right before Harry and Louis had found out they were expecting another baby. They had both been doing better, but that was still a relatively new phenomenon, and bad days were still a part of every week.

"Things are good," Harry reported. "That's actually why we've invited you here tonight."

"It wasn't to catch up?" Liam asked, his brows furrowed.

"Oh, that, too," Harry assured him. "But we also have news."

"News?" Niall parroted.

Harry nodded. "Another project we're working on, one that we could use your support on."

"Anything," Niall immediately vowed, reminding Louis just how lucky he and Harry were to have such wonderful friends. "If it's singing with you, I'm all in. If it's remodelling something in the house, I'm up for that, too."

"Me, too," Liam chimed in. "The fans would dig us getting back to singing together, even if it's just for a song or two. And I wield a mean paintbrush."

Harry traded a look with Louis that Louis interpreted as a request for permission to share their news. Louis frowned at him, though. Harry had gotten to tell their parents; Louis wanted a turn. Harry smiled back at him and nodded, adding a little hand gesture indicating that the floor was all his now.

"Don't keep us in suspense," Liam begged, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees to stare at Louis intently.

Niall mimicked Liam's pose, staring hard at Louis, too, until Louis bowed to the pressure.

"It's not a singing project or a house project," Louis informed them, grinning slyly. When Niall and Liam leaned even more forward--simultaneously--Louis continued. "It's a different kind of project. The kind that takes nine months to finish."

Louis felt like he could actually see the gears in Niall's head--and in Liam's--and he felt sure he could tell the moment it clicked first for Niall, then for Liam.

"You're having a baby?" Niall guessed, clearly trying to tamp down his excitement, just in case he was wrong.

Harry and Louis nodded in tandem. "In May," Harry added.

"And are we happy?" Liam questioned carefully, solidifying Louis' mental conclusion that he and Harry were indeed luckier than most when it came to their friends.

Louis nodded. "We're happy. Nervous, too, but happy."

Liam rushed to stand up and held out his arms. "Bring it in."

Niall joined in, too, and they shared a four-person hug.

When they separated, Niall said, "Congratulations!"

"Thanks," Harry returned, smiling at Niall's joy.

"Are you showing?" Liam glanced down at Harry's belly.

Harry smoothed the jumper he was wearing down, making it easy to see his baby bump.

"That's awesome," Liam commented.

They all wended their way back to their seats. Once they were all settled again, Niall had a question.

"You guys didn't plan this, did you?"

"No," Louis replied. "We had wanted to wait for a little longer before trying again. But, apparently, the universe had other ideas."

"Well, I think I speak for both of us when I say we're really happy for you, and we can't wait to be the baby's uncles," Niall told them, his smile ear-to-ear.

"You'll be great uncles," Louis said with utmost confidence.

"So, are you going to find out the baby's gender? Liam inquired.

Louis traded another look with Harry. This was not something they'd discussed, though Louis was willing to do whatever it was Harry wanted to do. Therefore, he looked to Harry to answer this particular question. He couldn't imagine Harry had not given this some thought.

Sure enough…. "We haven't talked about that, but I don't think I want to know. Last time we found out, and we really bonded with the baby, then…." He didn't need to finish that sentence. "I think it would be better not to do that this time. What do you think, Louis?"

Louis still thought they would bond with the baby, whether or not they knew if it was a girl or a boy. That said, he responded, "I think it would be nice to do things a little differently this time. A surprise might be fun."

"Not many real surprises in life," Liam pointed out. "It will be fun to wait, even if Niall isn’t very good at waiting." He side-eyed Niall with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey!" Niall predictably protested. "I can wait as well as anyone!"

"Maybe you don't remember the birthday where we told you we had a big surprise for you when our show was over that night," Liam said. "You pestered us all day long. All. Day. Long."

Niall blushed at the memory. "Okay, you got me there. But I was excited!"

"And we're excited about this, too, yeah?" Liam went on.

"I promise not to call the doctor and beg to know the gender," Niall stated, holding his hand up to swear.

"Well, that's a relief," Louis commented.

"So, who's up for food?" Harry asked. "We invited you for dinner, and I've got a roast that should be just about ready. I just need ten minutes to get the sides done, and then we can eat."

"You know me," Niall replied, "I'm always ready to eat."

"I knew I something smelled good," Liam said, sniffing at the air. "Your roasts are always to die for. Bring it on."

Harry pushed himself off the couch. "I'll go get everything set, then."

"I'll help," Louis offered, standing up as well.

"By help you mean you'll taste test everything, then put dishes on the table, right?" Louis loved the fond smile Harry wore as he spoke.

"Of course," Louis answered, grabbing Harry's hand and pulling him toward the kitchen. "Come on, let's get this party started."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Dr. Feldman completely understood Louis' and Harry's decision to keep the baby's gender a surprise. When they went for Harry's Week 16 appointment, she said she was able to tell what the baby was, and she made a note in their chart, but she didn't reveal it to them. She just told them the baby was developing perfectly, continuing to be right on target for this point in Harry's pregnancy. She also told them Harry could start feeling the baby kick any day now.

As she had at the last appointment, the doctor let them listen to the baby's heartbeat. As the sound filled the room, Harry and Louis were both overwhelmed with emotion. They had been the first time, too, but this time, they were in such a different place. Harry had a visible bump, they had allowed themselves to be excited about the baby, and they were getting closer and closer to the date when the baby would be viable. The doctor let the heartbeat play for a little longer than she had before, at their request.

The next couple weeks were uneventful. Harry and Louis were both recording songs and meeting with their respective teams about album strategy and potential tours (to be scheduled for well after the baby arrived). The holidays were approaching, so they both had a lot of shopping to do, and they negotiated with their family about where they would spend the important days. They decided on Louis' birthday with Louis' family and Christmas with Harry's, with some back and forth for the week in between Christmas and New Year's Eve. Liam was planning a big New Year's bash, so they planned to be back in London in time for that.

In the middle of December, in the middle of the night, Harry woke Louis up with a violent shake. "Louis!"

"Harry?" Louis peered up at his husband, his eyes trying to adjust to the dim moonlight in the room. Harry was sitting up, one hand on his belly.

"Something's wrong." Harry's voice was filled with panic, and Louis was immediately catapulted back to February.

Trying his best to remain calm--this was not the first time Harry had been worried about something going on with his pregnancy--Louis sat up and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I still can't feel the baby," Harry replied. It sounded like he was trying very hard not to cry. "I should be able to feel the baby by now. I looked it up. With a second baby, I should be able to feel them moving around by now. I can't feel anything. What if the baby's dead?"

Louis secured himself in a seated position before reaching out to grasp Harry's shoulders. "Harry, you know that every pregnant person is different. At our last appointment, Dr. Feldman said the baby was fine."

"That was two weeks ago," Harry pointed out.

Louis' instinct was to start getting a little frustrated with Harry's paranoia. However, after their experience with Amelia, Louis couldn't blame Harry for panicking. Louis pulled in a deep breath. "What would you like to do? I can call Dr. Feldman first thing in the morning."

Harry shook his head. "That's too long from now. I want to go to the A&E."

For the first time since Harry had awakened him, Louis looked at the clock. The LED read 3:16. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Please, Louis?" Harry could not contain a heart-wrenching sob.

"Okay," Louis finally agreed. "Let's get dressed."

Louis turned on the bedside lamps, then both he and Harry got dressed and went downstairs. They bundled up against the December chill and piled into Louis' car. Louis drove them as quickly as he could toward the hospital, at the same time trying not to break any laws.

When they walked in the A&E, they only had to wait fifteen minutes to see a doctor, a young man who introduced himself as Dr. Alexander. A nurse called Emma accompanied him.

"We had a baby die before she could be born," Harry explained, clearly not calmed down at all. "I should have been able to feel the baby move by now, but it's not moving."

"Are you able to do an ultrasound?" Louis interjected, trying to project the calm Harry wasn't quite up to yet. "I'm sure we're just paranoid because of what happened before, but it would be comforting to have someone check."

Dr. Alexander nodded. "Of course." He turned to Emma and told her to fetch a protable ultrasound machine.

"It's going to be fine, Harry," Louis tried to be reassuring, taking Harry's hand in his.

"I can't handle this again." Harry began to cry softly.

"Shh," Louis soothed. "I really think they're going to tell us everything's okay."

It wasn't much longer before Emma reappeared, an ultrasound machine in tow. Dr, Alexander made quick work of getting it ready, then applying gel to Harry's stomach.

Louis and Harry watched the monitor intently. They had done this enough to know what they were looking at.

"I just finished a rotation in obstetrics," Dr. Alexander said conversationally as he moved the wand slowly over Harry's belly. "Everything looks good so far. Amniotic sac looks good and intact. No abruption."

Louis didn't see the baby on the monitor yet, so he wasn't quite yet ready to breathe a sigh of relief. The death grip Harry had on his hand told him Harry was even farther away from relief.

"There. Baby's right there," he announced, pointing to the monitor. He was silent for a moment, then, studying the screen. Finally, he looked to Harry. "How far along are you?"

"Eighteen weeks," Harry answered tightly.

"The baby's size looks just right for eighteen weeks. I see a good strong heartbeat," the doctor reported. "Can you see it?"

Louis looked where the doctor directed his eyes, and sure enough, he could see the flutter of his baby's heart. He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, and Harry's grasp of his hand loosened, though he did not let go.

"Look, she's moving her hand," Dr. Alexander said, pointing to where what was clearly a tiny hand appeared to be waving.

Louis, however, was too fixated on the doctor's words to focus on the baby's hand.

Harry spoke for both of them, his voice a mere whisper. "She?"

The doctor shifted his gaze from the monitor to his patients, no doubt taking in their surprise. His face fell. "You didn't know it's a girl?"

Shaking his head, Louis explained, "We had decided to keep it a surprise."

"I'm so sorry," Dr. Alexander told them. "Most people find out the gender these days."

Harry seemed stunned, still, by this unexpected revelation, so it was up to Louis to say, "It's okay." It wasn't like the doctor could unring the bell.

"Well, everything looks just fine," the doctor continued. He lifted the wand and took the cloth Emma had ready and waiting, handing it to Harry to clean his stomach.

"Thanks, Dr. Alexander," Louis said, watching as Harry pulled his shirt back down and sat upright.

"Good luck with everything," Dr. Alexander returned. "Emma will be back with your paperwork, then you can check out."

"Thanks," Harry took his turn to say.

Dr. Alexander and Emma left the cubicle where they'd seen to Harry, leaving Louis and Harry alone.

Harry put one hand on either side of his bump and looked first down at it, then up at Louis. "It's a girl."

Louis smiled. "It's a girl."

"Just like Amelia," Harry went on, still sounding a little dazed.

"She's fine," Louis stated firmly. "Our new little girl is fine."

Harry nodded.

"It's going to be different this time, Harry," Louis vowed, believing in his heart that fate wouldn't take two babies away from them.

"I hope you're right," Harry said.

"I'm always right," Louis teased.

Harry left one hand on his bump, using the other to grab Louis' hand. "Thanks for bringing me to hospital."

Louis smiled. "I will do whatever it takes to keep you and our baby happy and healthy."

Emma appeared with their paperwork at this moment.

"That was fast," Louis commented as Harry signed the papers where Emma directed.

"You got us on a pretty quiet night," the nurse explained. Checking to make sure Harry had put his signature everywhere he needed to, she then told them, "You're good to go. Just check with the cashier on your way out."

"Thanks," Louis and Harry chorused.

Louis took charge of the clipboard, while Harry got himself off the exam table so they could walk to the cashier and officially check out.

It was still dark when they walked out to the car. They hadn't been at the hospital a full two hours. Louis drove them home at a slightly more sedate pace than he'd driven them to the hospital.

Both of them were exhausted, so they mutually decided to head back to bed for a little more sleep. They stripped out of the clothes they'd hastily thrown on to go out and got back into their comfy clothes. Once under the duvet, Louis pulled Harry into his arms, kissing the back of his head.

"I'm sorry I dragged you out for nothing," Harry whispered into the dark of the room.

"Shh. You have nothing to be sorry for. You're allowed to be worried." Louis brushed another kiss to Harry's head

"I spoiled our surprise," Harry continued to apologise, regardless of Louis' admonition.

"No, the doctor spoiled our surprise," Louis countered. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm knackered. I need a few more hours of sleep."

He felt Harry's head nod. "Me, too."

Louis held on tight to his husband, and as soon as he felt Harry's breathing even out, he allowed himself to drift away.

"Louis!" Harry's voice came from far away. "Louis!"

The second calling of his name brought Louis to wakefulness. The room was bathed in light now, and Harry was no longer in his arms. Rather, he was sitting up, both hands on his belly.

Louis pushed himself up. "Is something wrong?"

Harry shook his head, a small smile on his face. He reached for Louis' hand, placing it next to his own on his bump. "Feel."

It took a moment, but then Louis felt it. A tiny little kick.

He grinned. "There she is."

Harry's smile grew bigger. "There she is."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Louis had been worried the holidays would be difficult, since this would have been Amelia's first Christmas and her first New Year. And, if he was honest, the unfairness of her absence did make him blue from time to time, as it did Harry. But they ended up surrounded by family and friends. They spent Louis' birthday at his family's, then Christmas Day with Harry's family. Louis' family travelled north on Boxing Day, and they had a joint family gathering at Anne's.

As they all sat down to enjoy a midday feast, Louis and Harry stood up. Louis tapped the side of his glass of water--he was skipping alcohol in solidarity these days--to get the room's attention.

"We just wanted to say thanks for making the past three days so much better than we thought they'd be," Louis began. He looked to Harry and raised his eyebrows.

Harry nodded. He would speak as well. "There were supposed to be a lot of firsts this year, but we didn't get to have those."

"With any luck, we'll get those firsts next year," Louis jumped back in to say. "For this year, though, it was great to be around all of you. Your support when we were a little sad and your excitement about the new baby have been the biggest help. You can't even imagine." He looked again to Harry to take over again.

"So we have news to share. A last gift for everyone," Harry proclaimed. "One we didn't mean to get, but we got it anyway."

"Ooh, what is it?" Gemma piped up.

"Is it a puppy?" Doris chimed in.

Louis chuckled. "No, not a puppy."

"Is it a pony?" Ernest asked, not wanting to be outdone by his twin sister.

"It isn't a pony," Louis said, trying to let him down easy.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense," Lottie begged.

"Okay," Harry agreed. "It's a girl."

There were gasps all around the table. Harry and Louis had told most everyone that they were going to let the gender be a surprise this time around, and though this had disappointed some of the less patient members of their circle, they had understood.

Gemma was the first to recover from the surprise announcement. "I thought you weren't going to find out."

"A doctor giving me an ultrasound let it slip, not knowing we didn't know," Harry explained.

"You should sue!" Lottie cried, though it was clear she wasn't serious.

"It's okay," Harry assured her. "We've gotten used to knowing it's another girl."

"Are you all right with having another girl?" Anne asked carefully.

Harry and Louis both nodded.

"It's a little nerve-wracking being back in the same situation," Harry went on to admit. "But it's exciting, too. We were all ready to raise a baby girl, so we don't have to switch gears at all."

"So, congratulations?" Anne proposed.

"Sure. We'll take those," Harry agreed.

Anne popped up to hug both Harry and Louis, then the rest of their family took their turns.

Jay hung back to be the last to offer her congratulations. "I'm so excited for both of you. You are going to be such good dads to this little girl. And we already love her to bits."

"Thanks, Mum," Louis returned.

"Just four months and a bit to go, yeah?" she continued. "Halfway through."

"I guess you're right," Louis said. "We've been so focused on the holidays that I hadn't even realised that we had gotten almost exactly halfway."

"You just have to make it as far as you've already done," Jay pointed out. "Then you'll be bringing home a beautiful baby girl."

"I hope so," Harry wished.

"I have faith," Jay insisted. "Enough for all of us."

Harry and Louis had no choice but to give her second hugs just for that.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

As they moved into the new year, their little girl's impending arrival started to feel even more real. Harry's appointment to check how the baby was doing in her fifth month went swimmingly. She was growing perfectly. Dr. Feldman couldn't find anything which might present a problem.

Like her sister before her, their new little girl was also a night owl, waking Harry at least once a night. He didn't mind, though. It was a constant reminder that she was alive and well.

Harry often had time to think when he was up in the wee hours of the morning with their little one dancing inside his belly. More frequently than not, he shared those thoughts with Louis over whatever they were having for breakfast that day.

"So, was our little party animal up last night?" Louis inquired around a bite of Harry's perfectly browned toast.

"She was," Harry confirmed. "Your football gene is strong."

Louis chuckled. "I look forward to teaching her properly in a few years."

"I was up for a bit before she let me go back to sleep," Harry told him. "And something occurred to me."

After sipping at his tea, Louis raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Maybe we shouldn't keep the nursery exactly as it is," Harry explained his late night/early morning musings.

Louis shook his head. "Why?"

"Because it was meant for Amelia," Harry said, his face quite serious. "And I don't want her to think she's a replacement for her. I want her to feel like the room was designed with her in mind, not another baby."

"Hm. I hadn't thought about that at all," Louis admitted. "But that does make a lot of sense."

"I was thinking we could keep the furniture. There's no point in changing that out," Harry reasoned. He took a quick sip of juice before going on. "But I was thinking we could repaint the room and give it a new theme."

"I think that's a great idea." Louis smiled at Harry's determination to make their new little girl feel special and unique. "Did you have a colour in mind?"

Harry nodded his head. "I was thinking about pale green, maybe stencilling flowers and butterflies along the top."

Louis could already picture the made-over room in his head. "So it's like an indoor garden?"

"Exactly."

"That sounds beautiful. I love it." Louis smiled fondly at his husband.

"I'm so glad. I was worried you'd want to keep it just as it is," Harry admitted.

"No, I think changing it is a good idea," Louis said. "I'll call Liam and Niall and tell them the plan. They've been dying to help with something. They'll be thrilled to help repaint."

Harry bit his lip just a little before speaking again. "Thanks for being so understanding, Lou."

"Any time." He picked up a piece of bacon. "Let me just finish this fabulous breakfast, and I'll get in touch with the boys."

"Sounds like a plan. A perfect plan."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Just as Louis had predicted, Liam and Niall were excited to be asked to do something to help get ready for the new baby.

First they brought paint chips by, allowing Louis and Harry to pick the colours they wanted for the walls, flowers, and butterflies, then they picked up the paints and stencils. They brought everything over bright and early on the Saturday morning after Harry had his brainstorm, ready to transform the nursery into something new.

"This is going to be gorgeous," Liam predicted. "Perfect for your gorgeous girl."

Harry grinned. "Well, thanks for coming to make it gorgeous."

"Can't think of a better way to spend a weekend," Niall joined in.

"Let's set everything up," Louis suggested, taking one of the many paint cans Niall and Liam had brought over.

When Harry reached for a can, Liam slapped his hand away. "These are too heavy. Take this." He thrust the bag of paintbrushes and rollers into Harry's waiting hand.

"I'm just six months," Harry protested. "I can lift a paint can."

Liam shook his head. "Nope. No heavy lifting for you."

Harry sighed, but he didn't argue any further. He just carried the bag of supplies up behind Louis.

Louis and Niall spread out large sheets to save the carpet, while Liam and Harry lay down painter's tape to preserve the white trim by the windows and the moulding around the edge of the floor.

After that, Harry was banned from the room. "No paint fumes for you," Louis stated apologetically.

Harry didn't argue that one. He didn't want to risk anything happening to the baby because he was exposed to potentially toxic fumes. He busied himself with prepping drinks and lunch, and he used the time alone to stream a couple movies on Netflix he knew Louis wasn't particularly interested in.

Louis, Liam, and Niall got all the walls done by mid-afternoon, then Liam and Niall hung out for some video games and dinner to round out the day.

Liam and Niall came back on Sunday to do the stencils at the tops of the walls, as well as any touch-ups that were needed. Harry again provided drinks and lunch.

By early afternoon, they were ready to show Harry their work.

Liam closed the nursery door, and Niall stood right next to him, bouncing on his toes in excitement. Louis grinned as he led Harry to the door and covered his eyes, then nodded to Liam to open the door.

"Feast your eyes," Louis commanded, lifting his hands from Harry's eyes.

Harry gasped as he got a look at Louis, Liam, and Niall's work.

The walls--previously a pale yellow--were painted a pale green now, a lovely soothing shade that worked perfectly with the white furniture they'd picked just about a year earlier. They'd left the white trim around the windows and on the crown moulding, and they hadn't changed the placement of any of the furniture.

The real beauty of the room was in a band on the wall just under the ceiling. Flowers, butterflies, and bees danced and waved gracefully. And on the wall over the crib, butterflies floated down the wall in a beautiful display.

"It's like a whole different room," Harry declared, tears running down his cheeks. Louis hoped they were happy tears; he thought they were.

"That was the idea, wasn't it?" Louis checked.

Harry nodded and smiled. "This is perfect. It looks just like a meadow. This will be a wonderful place to put our baby down to sleep." Unconsciously, he put a hand to the side of his belly. "Thank you so much."

"We had a great time doing it," Niall assured him, accepting a hug from Harry.

Harry hugged Liam and Louis, too. "This is amazing," he told them.

"We're glad you like it," Liam said.

"I think she will, too," Harry added, indicating his stomach.

Liam and Niall helped Louis store the extra paint and the supplies in the garage, then packed up their things, leaving Harry and Louis with a Sunday evening alone.

Before they settled down to watch some television, Harry wanted to visit the nursery one more time.

Standing in the doorway, looking at his husband's and his best friends' work, Harry noted, "It's not a sad room anymore."

Louis, standing right at Harry's side, smiled. "It isn't, is it?"

Harry swivelled on his heels so he could give Louis a kiss. "Thanks, babe."

"It was your idea," Louis reminded him.

Harry grinned. "Then thank me."

"Thank you, love. Thank you very much."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Mid-February brought two significant dates with it. On the 14th, of course, was Valentine's Day. The 16th was the anniversary of losing Amelia.

Louis decided that they should get away just the two of them to observe these occasions. Harry was only six and a half months pregnant, and there were no restrictions on travel, so Louis picked someplace warm that took less than twelve hours to get to, and he kept the location a surprise from Harry, only telling him to pack for someplace warm.

They left early in the morning two days before Valentine's Day, packed to be gone for a week and a day. It was only as they pulled up to the airport that Louis told Harry where they were going, knowing that it was going to be difficult to keep it a secret beyond checking in.

Their driver was finding a place to stop at a kerb as Louis asked Harry, "So, you curious about where we're going?"

Harry smiled. "I am. You told me to make sure my tablet and iPod were well-stocked, so I assume it's someplace a bit away."

"It is," Louis confirmed. "We're going to the Bahamas."

Harry's eyes widened. "Really?"

Louis nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"We've never been there before."

"Which is why I figured it was the perfect place," Louis explained.

The driver stopped the car and jumped out to open the door on Louis' side. He helped them get their bags to the kerbside check-in, then bid them adieu.

Security moved pretty quickly, and before they knew it, they were waiting at their gate to board their flight.

While they waited, Louis filled Harry in on some more details. "We're going to be staying in a private villa right on the beach. The weather is supposed to be perfect the whole time we're there."

"It sounds wonderful." Harry's hands were resting on top of his belly, and he already looked relaxed, which meant Louis was already winning.

Their flight was long, but they both managed to sleep through lots of it. The rest they spent either watching movies or chatting idly to pass the time.

Finally, they landed at their destination, Nassau. It was midday, local time.

Louis had arranged everything--or had gotten his assistant to. There was a car waiting to take them to their accommodations, and soon they arrived at the beautiful white villa.

The villa was designed in an open plan. Up on a platform in the back was a king size bed covered in a luxurious white duvet, a couple dressers, and a door which led to the en suite. On the main floor was a white sofa and a white love seat, along with a giant television. There was a kitchenette on one side of the main floor, and on the other side was a set of large French doors leading out to a patio that held a table, four chairs, and two loungers which looked light enough to carry down to the beach. A small indoor dining area was set just behind the television.

After setting their bags up next to the dressers, they checked out the kitchenette, finding it well-stocked. They would also have access to room service. They wouldn't have to leave the villa for anything, unless they really wanted to.

Confident they had everything they needed, their driver left. Now that they were alone, Harry and Louis quickly unpacked, then Louis found the makings for sandwiches and tea. They sat out on the patio overlooking the ocean to eat.

"This is gorgeous," Harry commented before taking a huge bite of his sandwich. He added, "And this is delicious."

"It is," Louis agreed.

"We've still got a good bit of the afternoon." Harry sipped at his tea. "What were you thinking we should do?"

"I was thinking maybe a quick nap, then a little exploring before dinner."

"Sounds good. Any other plans for the week?"

"Well, tomorrow I was thinking we could just be lazy, spend some time on the beach or wandering into the village nearby," Louis shared his plans. "I have something special planned for Valentine's Day, then after that, I thought we could just play it by ear."

They both knew the 16th would be difficult, but Louis had been hoping that being in a new location, surrounded by nothing that they connected with Amelia, would make it less so.

"That all sounds good, too." In a teasing tone, Harry added, "Look at you, planning a trip ahead and all."

"It went against all my spontaneous genes," Louis admitted. "But I tried my best."

"And your best is amazing," Harry concluded.

Louis felt a blush creep up his cheeks. He took a drink of tea and a bite of his sandwich to cover his embarrassment.

In between his own bites of food, Harry yawned widely. "Sorry. That flight's starting to catch up with both me and the baby."

Louis nodded his understanding. "It has been a really long day, and it's getting late back in London. Finish up your food, and then we can check out the bed. See if it feels as fantastic as it looks."

Clearly on the same page as Louis, Harry finished his meal in record time.

The bed, it turned out, felt just as fantastic as it looked.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Their first full day in the Bahamas was as lazy as Louis had prescribed. They stayed in bed until a decadently late hour, then they ordered breakfast from room service. Their meal was delivered right to the patio.

After they ate, Louis talked Harry into putting on the paternity bathing costume Louis had packed for him, and they carried towels and the loungers down to the beach to read and relax the afternoon away. Having raided their kitchen for a mid-afternoon snack, they called on room service again for a sumptuous dinner.

Valentine's Day began with sunshine and warmth. Louis left Harry sleeping to order in breakfast on trays. When it arrived, he woke Harry, and they ate breakfast in bed.

"This feels truly extravagant," Harry noted, chewing on a piece of crispy bacon.

"Only the best for the love of my life on Valentine's Day." Louis leaned over to press a kiss to Harry's lips. He tasted deliciously salty.

Harry grinned. "What's after breakfast?"

"Finish up and you can find out," Louis answered.

Harry seemed very anxious to comply, and he made quick work of the rest of his in-bed meal--as did Louis. Once they were done eating and had set the empty plates outside the villa for pickup, they got dressed to begin their Valentine's Day celebration.

The first thing they did was have a driver take them into downtown Nassau, where Louis found them a horse-drawn carriage to take them on a tour of the city. They had a fun driver called Jose who told them all about the history of Nassau--while grilling them about their upcoming addition to the family.

When they'd made a complete circle through the city centre, they did a little bit of shopping before finding a lovely corner café at which to have a midday meal.

Over lunch, Louis told Harry that he was thinking that in the afternoon they could visit the Ardastra Gardens and Zoo. Harry thought that sounded like a terrific idea.

They called the driver they'd had that morning to take them to the zoo.

It had been a long time since either Louis or Harry had gone to any type of zoo, and they took a few moments to study the map of the park to see what they might get to see. They made a game plan, then began a leisurely stroll toward the area of the zoo which housed different kinds of birds.

As they walked hand in hand past the macaws, Louis said, "I can't wait until we can bring our little girl to the zoo."

"There's even a petting zoo here," Harry noted, pointing to the sign guiding the way to that part of the park. "I got to take Archie once to the petting zoo, and he loved it." Archie was Harry's nephew and one of his favourite people to hang out with.

"Well, we'll definitely have to visit that, then, when she's a little bigger and can appreciate all the cute and fuzzy critters." Louis stopped to look at a beautiful yellow-crested cockatoo.

"Louis?" Harry asked as they moved on toward the pheasants.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we should think of a name ahead of time?" Harry wondered aloud.

Louis drew in a deep breath. This was a question which had crossed his mind as well.

When Harry had been pregnant with Amelia, they had both been pretty superstitious. The only thing they had done to prepare ahead of time had been the nursery. They hadn't allowed a baby shower, they hadn't bought too much beyond what they'd need the first week she was home, and they had decided to wait until she was born to name her, wanting to see what name suited her.

Even with all those precautions, they'd lost Amelia.

"I don't know," Louis admitted. "Last time, we waited, and then the worst happened anyway."

Harry nodded and sighed, stopping next to a pen holding in several pheasants, all of whom were coming to the fence to see the humans who had appeared to visit them. "Part of me thinks maybe we should do things differently this time, and part of me still wants to be superstitious."

"Me, too." Louis concurred.

They were both silent for a few moments, though they managed in their quiet to agree to move on to check out the lemurs that were nearby.

As they watched the lemurs jump around and play inside their enclosure, Harry said, "I think we should wait and come up with a name once she's here."

"I'm good with that," Louis told him. "Maybe we can make lists, though, like last time. That way we have something to work from."

"Okay." Harry smiled softly, clearly relieved to have made such an important decision. "That sounds good."

Louis let go of Harry's hand to pull out the map of the zoo. "Look. They have a boa constrictor. Let's go look at that."

"Lead the way," Harry commanded, reaching for Louis' hand again.

"As you wish."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

After they made sure to visit every animal the zoo had on display, Louis shared his plan for the evening. He had booked them for a dinner cruise on a catamaran.

They made a quick stop back at their villa for showers and a change of clothes, then they headed over to the dock where they would catch their ride for the evening.

The catamaran they would be dining on had pristine white sails and was painted a matching vibrant white. As Harry and Louis ascended the ramp to get on the vessel, the captain introduced himself as Captain Howell, then a server directed them to the front of the ship where there were about ten other couples, cocktails, and hors d'oeuvres.

Louis took care of securing a glass of sparkling water for Harry, then they settled in to watch as the sun began to set on another day in the Bahamas.

As the sun got lower, they were summoned to the buffet, where they both chose the lemon pepper chicken, which they took to a table where they still had a great view of the sunset over the ocean.

"This is beautiful, Louis," Harry said, smiling over at his husband and sipping at his water. "Thank you so much for arranging it."

"Anything for you," Louis told him, his smile even bigger than Harry's. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

After they ate in amiable silence for a few minutes, Louis cleared his throat. Harry looked up at him through his eyelashes, a questioning look on his face.

"I have something to say," Louis announced.

"Well, by all means," Harry allowed, continuing to cut a bite of chicken.

In dramatic fashion, Louis cleared his throat one more time. "Since it's Valentine's Day, I thought it was a good time for me to let you know all the things I love about you."

At Louis' words, Harry immediately got teary, and he put down his fork and his knife to give Louis his undivided attention.

"You are amazing, Harry," Louis began. "What you've been through in the last two years…. You have handled it all with so much strength."

When Harry opened his mouth--Louis presumed to protest--Louis held up a hand and shook his head. "I know you had dark moments. So did I. But here we are, just three months away from a new baby. A fresh start at this dad thing."

"This wouldn't be happening if you hadn't stood by me," Harry declared.

"That doesn't change just how amazing you are," Louis countered.

While Harry blushed, Louis went on. "Every day, I think about how lucky I am. Lucky to have made it to Boot Camp and met you, lucky to have been put in a band with you, lucky to have fallen in love with you, lucky we stuck it out all these years, lucky to get to call you my husband, lucky to be having a baby with the best person I know."

Harry was crying profusely as he noted, "That's a lot of luck."

"I don't know what I did to deserve it, but yes," Louis agreed.

Louis handed his napkin over to Harry, then gave him a moment to compose himself.

Once he was composed, Harry took his turn. "I was pretty lucky, too. I can't imagine going through life with anyone else."

It was Louis' turn to blush.

"Thanks for arranging all of this," Harry continued, gesturing to the food and the view of the setting sun. "It's marvellous."

"It's my pleasure. Only the best for you and our baby," Louis responded with a wide smile. He looked down at his plate and realised his food was probably getting cooler by the second. "We should finish eating before everything gets cold."

Harry nodded and picked up his fork again. "Good plan."

They ate as the sun sank lower and lower, appearing to slide right into the sea. Once the sun was gone and the catamaran was bathed in the bluish light from the moon, the crew set up some candles and brought out dessert.

Louis and Harry both sampled some chocolate mousse and carrot cake, then enjoyed sitting on deck and just relaxing on the ride back to the dock they'd set out from.

Their driver was waiting for them when they climbed off the boat. Harry cuddled into Louis' side for the short trip back home.

"I feel like I need another shower before we go to bed," Harry said as he walked ahead of Louis through the villa door.

"I could do with another, too." Louis secured the door behind them. "It's a pretty big shower. Want to see if it will hold both of us?"

Harry turned around to face Louis, his eyebrows raised and a smile just barely suppressed. "Is this in the interest of science?"

"Of course." Louis was unable to suppress his own grin. "Science needs to know…is there enough room in the shower for two men and a baby?"

"Well, if science needs to know…."

Harry started to make his way toward the bathroom, but Louis grabbed him by the hand and pulled him in for a kiss.

This particular kiss bypassed chaste and sweet and went right for passionate and dirty, involving tongues and plenty of heavy breathing.

When they parted for air several minutes later, Louis sighed happily. "When I was listing all the things that made me lucky, I forgot to add that I'm lucky to be married to the best kisser in the world."

Harry grinned. "I think I might be the one married to the best kisser in the world." He pressed another kiss to Louis' lips before saying, "I believe we were about to conduct a science experiment."

"Right." Louis took the lead this time, taking Harry by the hand and heading across the lounge and up into the bedroom area.

They both made quick work of divesting themselves of their clothes, piling everything on an easy chair set a little bit from the bed.

"Wow," Louis stated, his voice overflowing with awe. "Not only the best kisser in the world, but the most gorgeous man in the world."

Harry snorted at the thought, hands flying to his bump unconsciously. "I don't know about that."

"Well, you don't have to," Louis told him. "I do. Every inch of you is gorgeous, from your wonderful curls to your perfect toes."

"I'm a whale," Harry pointed out.

Louis shook his head. "You're not. Your body is growing our baby girl. Nothing could be more beautiful."

The blush that appeared on Harry's face only served to make him even more attractive. Louis moved in for another kiss before grabbing Harry's hand. "C'mon."

The villa boasted a gorgeous bathroom. It was painted white with green and blue accents and featured dual sinks and a separate tub and shower. The shower took up a whole corner of the room and was enclosed inside frosted glass doors.

Louis grabbed two towels, placing them on the back of the toilet next to the shower, then started the water, making sure it was a perfect temperature before he pulled Harry into the large stall with him.

Harry immediately stepped under the stream, pressing his hair back. "Ahh. This feels so amazing."

"Here, let me do your hair," Louis requested, reaching for the shampoo they'd stuck on a nearby shelf the day before. Harry obediently turned around to give Louis access to his head, and Louis worked some shampoo into Harry's dark curls. By the time Harry was done rinsing it out, Louis was impossibly hard, and he pulled Harry to him for a kiss.

When Louis ventured a hand underneath Harry's stomach, he found that Harry was rock hard, too.

Louis moved his lips an inch off of Harry's. "We haven't done this in the shower in a while. You up for it?"

"Don't I feel up for it?" Harry joked, water running in rivulets over the dimples in his cheeks.

With a chuckle, Louis confirmed, "You do."

Harry turned to brace himself against the wall. He grabbed a hold of the railing that ran the length of the shower and presented his bum to Louis, partly to give Louis the best access, but also to make room for his belly.

Louis' eyes flickered over shampoo, conditioner, and soap and decided that the liquid soap they'd brought with them would be perfect to use in place of lube. He squirted some in his hand and placed a coated finger at Harry's entrance.

"Ready?" Louis checked.

"Mhm," Harry answered, shaking his arse just a little for good measure.

Louis needed no more encouragement to push a finger inside Harry. Harry shuddered as Louis began to stretch him out, adding another finger, then another, all in quick succession, though it took a few minutes for Harry to feel properly prepped.

"I'm not going to last very long here," Harry warned.

Reading this as permission to trade fingers for his cock, Louis squeezed some soap onto his hand and slathered it around his erection. He wasted no time, then, in pressing the tip into Harry's hole. Harry backed up, drawing Louis in further. Within seconds, Louis was as deep inside Harry as he could possibly be.

Louis reached a hand around to grab Harry's cock, setting the same rhythm up and down in front of Harry as he was in and out Harry's back.

Harry had not been kidding. Louis had not been inside Harry long at all before Harry cried out and came all over Louis' hand, water immediately mixing in and washing it away.

Harry's muscles contracted around Louis as he came, and the pressure brought on Louis' own powerful orgasm. With shocks running up and down his spine, he shot his seed deep inside Harry before collapsing onto Harry's back for just a moment, his breaths ragged.

Harry's breathing was as ragged as Louis' as he commented, "Good thing we're in the shower."

Louis laughed as he straightened up and moved under the spray of water, still plenty warm. "Indeed."

They soaped each other down, Louis taking extra care of Harry's stomach, bending down to whisper, "Happy Valentine's Day, peanut," to the baby girl nestled inside.

Once they were clean, Louis stepped out of the shower stall and grabbed a towel, wrapping Harry up before himself. They dried off and got into fresh boxers and t-shirts before turning off the villa lights and crawling in between the cool sheets on their bed, both happily exhausted.

Louis pulled Harry into his arms, placing one gentle hand on Harry's belly.

Into the dark of the room Harry whispered, "This was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

"Well, I'm glad. It was a good day, wasn't it?" Louis pressed a kiss to the back of Harry's head.

"I can't believe it's almost been a year." Harry continued to keep his voice low.

"I know," Louis said, his voice just as soft.

"Thanks for planning all of this. It helps."

"I'm glad." Every moment of planning was worth it.

Louis heard a noise, then, that could only be Harry yawning widely. "Time for some sleep now." He kissed the back of Harry's head again. "Love you."

Harry already sounded half asleep when he returned, "Love you more."

Louis shook his head. "Not even possible. Not a chance."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

They passed the day after Valentine's Day with a little more sightseeing. The weather was, again, extraordinarily beautiful, and they visited Fort Charlotte and the Pirates of Nassau Museum, as well as found a fun boat tour. They even came across a wonderful restaurant which had seafood for Louis and red meat for Harry.

It was another marvellous day in paradise.

When Louis awoke before sunrise on the morning of the 16th\--unable to sleep anymore--Harry wasn't next to him in bed. A very short search found him sitting on the patio, staring out at the brightening horizon.

Louis took the seat right next to him. He didn't say anything, just reached a hand out to rest on Harry's knee. Harry grabbed for it so they could hold hands.

They sat in silence for a few moments, just watching the sun slowly make its way seemingly out of the ocean. If the clear sky was any indication, it was shaping up to be another gorgeous day.

It was Harry who spoke first. "She would have been about to be one."

"She would."

"Do you think she would have been the kind of kid who tears into their birthday cake or the kind of kid who wouldn't know what to do with it?" Harry wondered aloud.

Louis smiled softly. "I choose to think she'd have taken after me and torn right into it."

Harry gave a small smile at that imagery. He rubbed a hand over his belly. "I hope this one takes after you. I hope she's daring and sweet and incredibly generous, just like you. And I really hope she has your blue eyes."

Though he felt himself blush, Louis countered, "While I appreciate the compliments, I will spend my time hoping she's more like you. I hope she's charming and kind and ready to be a friend to anyone who needs one. And I want her to have gorgeous green eyes, just like yours."

As the sky lightened, Louis watched as the wistful smile on Harry's face turned into a troubled frown. "What is it?" Louis asked.

Harry drew in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "Do you think Amelia's mad that we're having another baby so quickly after she left us?"

Louis squeezed Harry's hand. "No, I absolutely don't. I think she's probably quite ready to be her little sister's guardian angel."

"Maybe we should paint an angel in the baby's room," Harry commented. "That way, Amelia is kind of sharing the room."

"I think that's a great idea. I'm already imagining a perfect spot on the wall right beside some of the flowers and butterflies."

Harry's smile returned for a brief moment, then disappeared again. "What if the same thing happens with this baby? What if we lose her, too?"

It didn't matter that they'd been here before. At this question, Louis reached for Harry's other hand, a move which forced Harry to look directly into Louis' eyes. "Remember what Dr. Feldman said. She said the chances of that happening again are really small. I want you to think positive."

Harry pulled in another deep breath and nodded. "Okay. I can do that."

"In less than three months, we are going to have a healthy baby girl," Louis insisted.

"A healthy baby girl," Harry repeated. His smile was shaky, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Got it."

Louis let go of one of Harry's hands and turned to look back to the ocean. "Sun's almost all the way out of the sea. Why don't we get some breakfast? I thought after that, we could spend the day just relaxing at the beach or by the pool, get a little sun before we have to go back to dreary London."

"That sounds nice," Harry agreed. "I think I saw some eggs and bacon in the fridge. I can make us a mini fry-up."

"I'll get out the plates and silver." Louis stood and tugged on the hand of Harry's he still held. "C'mon."

Harry allowed himself to be hauled up.

Louis stopped before heading back into the villa and waited for Harry to meet his gaze. "We're going to make it through the day. I promise."

Harry threw his arms around Louis, hugging him tight and whispering in his ear. "Thank you."

"It's still my pleasure," Louis whispered back.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

The rest of their trip could have been filmed as a model of relaxation. They lay on towels on the beach, they tried out the complex's pool, they lunched and ate dinner on their patio, and they each came close to finishing a book.

By the time they were packing their bags to head back to London, they both had a nice tan going, and they were both sad to leave the warm weather behind.

One of the first things they did upon arriving home was to call one of their friends, a woman called Callie. Callie was an artist by trade, and they asked her if she would be willing to come render a painting of Amelia as an angel on the nursery wall. Callie instantly agreed, and a week after they were back from the Bahamas a beautiful angel with curly brown hair (at Louis' request) and blue eyes (at Harry's) was nestled in a bunch of painted flowers on the wall not far from the crib where the new baby would sleep.

The rest of the winter moved relatively quickly. Both Harry and Louis had scheduled studio time, hoping to get their respective songs recorded before the baby arrived. Once the baby was a little older, their plan was to take turns on the post-production side of things.

Spring arrived with a bit of a bang. At the end of March, one day it was as cold as the middle of January, the next it turned warm, and it never switched back. Harry took great advantage of this warming trend by encouraging Louis to take daily walks with him. Just as it had last time, pregnancy was doing a number on his back, but walking seemed to help.

Week Thirty-Seven arrived on the 16th of April. Louis was unsurprised to wake up that morning alone in bed. Harry never could sleep through stress and worry.

Also unsurprisingly, Louis found Harry rocking back and forth in the rocking chair in the nursery, looking out on the gloomy morning dawning outside the window.

"Hey, love," Louis greeted him softly.

Harry craned his neck to look at Louis. "Hey."

Louis moved to stand next to where Harry sat, his hands resting on the top of his belly. "How are you doing this morning?"

"She's kicking. Feel." Harry reached for Louis' hand and placed it on the side of his large bump.

Louis felt them directly, the baby's tiny kicks. She was a little powerhouse, and she loved nothing more than to keep Harry up at night. "Maybe we'll be going to watch her at the Olympics one day."

"Maybe." Harry sighed heavily. "It's thirty-seven weeks, one day, Louis. Same as the day Amelia…." He didn't need to finish that sentence.

"I know. But it's already different if the peanut is in there practising her football kicks," Louis pointed out.

Harry nodded. "I just can't stop thinking about last year."

"I know. I keep thinking about it, too," Louis admitted. "I feel like if we can just make it through today, everything will be fine."

"Yeah."

They had decided together to make this a business-as-usual day, despite Harry's instincts to take a day off. Louis had convinced him that he wasn't going to be doing himself any favours sitting around waiting for something bad to happen. They both had recording to do, then Louis had purposely arranged for dinner with Liam and Niall that evening. With any luck, neither of them would have much time for worrying.

Harry's tummy growled, loud in the quiet room.

"The peanut has apparently become hungry after all her exercise," Louis commented with a grin, rubbing Harry's belly before straightening up.

Harry chuckled. "Apparently."

"Do you want to cook or shall I?" Louis inquired.

"I can do it," Harry said, pushing himself up and out of the rocking chair. Louis grabbed Harry's upper arm to help him steady himself. His stomach had grown even bigger during this pregnancy than it had the last time, and overbalancing had proven to be a problem at times.

Louis continued to hold onto Harry's arm in a loose grip. "Want help getting downstairs?"

Normally when Louis offered assistance, Harry declined, stating that he was pregnant, not an invalid. But the day being what it was, this time Harry answered, "Sure. Might as well not risk anything today."

Louis followed Harry out of the nursery, but went one step ahead of him down the stairs, keeping a sharp eye on Harry as he slowly made his way toward the ground floor.

Once they made it downstairs without incident, they went to the kitchen, and Louis heckled while Harry prepared eggs and sausages for breakfast.

They ate in a leisurely fashion before showering and dressing. Since Harry was paranoid about driving as far along as he was, Louis drove Harry to the building which housed his recording studio before heading to his own, promising to pick Harry up whenever he was ready. He made Harry promise to text or call if he became worried or panicked at all throughout the day.

There were no panicked messages, though. Harry did send little snippets of the songs they were working on, as well as a joke Mitch--his guitarist--had told that Harry had found particularly funny. It sounded like going to work was the right plan for the day. Louis was glad he'd pushed for it.

Louis picked Harry up in the late afternoon, and he seemed in decent spirits, if a tiny bit wired. He told Louis that they'd put the finishing touches on one song and had begun on another. Louis relayed that he and the guys he was working with were still trying to rework one song, and he thought they were almost done.

The only stop they made on the way home was at a market to pick up the food Louis had ordered for dinner. He didn't want Harry to be busy in the kitchen. The pasta they were serving to Liam and Niall would just need to be heated in the oven. The market even provided some fresh bread to slice to accompany the three-cheese ziti.

Liam and Niall arrived together, and since Niall had texted when they were on the way, the food was just five minutes away from being hot enough to eat.

They all sat down at the table and once they all had a pile of pasta and a couple slices of bread, it was time to play catch up.

"So, what have you two been up to?" Louis asked, looking from Niall to Liam over his forkful of ziti.

"We just had a big meeting about the summer tour," Niall offered. "We got all those small details hammered out. You know the ones…."

"The riders, the security, the number of roadies you need." Louis was, of course, well-versed in the list of things needed to make a tour run smoothly. "With any luck, I'll be having those meetings once the new album comes out."

"You will," Harry predicted with utmost confidence.

"What about you, Li?" Louis directed his gaze at the band mate sitting directly across from him.

"I think I may have sewn up another collaboration," Liam teased, a sly grin on his face.

"Oooh." Harry raised his eyebrows. "With who?"

"Actually, this one helped set up the meeting." Liam bumped his shoulder on Niall's. Niall's grin matched Liam's in brightness.

"That doesn't really narrow it down," Liam pointed out. "Niall has almost as many connections as Harry."

Harry had the grace to blush just a little at the compliment. Everybody loved Harry, so his network was large and very invested.

"That's true," Liam said. He dramatically lifted his drink and took a sip before speaking again. "So. Selena Gomez."

"That's awesome!" Harry cheered.

"Thanks," Liam returned. "I'm quite excited."

"Will this be for writing or singing? Or both?" Louis inquired.

"Both," Liam reported. "We start in May."

"That's so great, Liam," Louis told him. "I already can't wait to hear it."

"May is looking jam-packed," Niall commented. "Liam's hooking up with Selena--" Liam punched him playfully on the arm, "--and we'll be getting a gorgeous little girl to cuddle and spoil."

Harry smiled and protectively rubbed the bump containing said gorgeous little girl. "Just three weeks away."

"Have you picked a name yet?" Niall inquired, taking another bite of pasta.

Harry shook his head. "Not yet. We're going to wait 'til she's here and see what fits her."

"We wrote lists, though," Louis added. "And we're going to compare them to see if there are any names we both love--or don't love."

"That's a good idea," Liam noted.

Louis' gaze ran over Harry, cataloguing how Harry seemed to be doing. The mention of the baby and baby names seemed to have subdued Harry just a bit.

"We're almost through this day, H." Louis placed a hand on Harry's thigh, squeezing it softly. "Then it's smooth sailing from here on out."

Harry nodded, shooting Louis a small smile.

There was a brief silence as the men tucked further into their dinner. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. To the contrary, it was silence between four people who knew each other so intimately that they didn't need to be talking every moment they were together.

Liam's plate was nearly empty when he paused, sipped at his beer, then broke the silence to say, "You know what would make this day be done even sooner?"

Three pairs of eyes regarded him questioningly.

"A FIFA tourney," Liam pronounced. "We haven't had one in eons, and once the baby's here, we'll be too busy fussing over her to play video games."

"I'm in," Niall replied immediately.

"Lou? H?" Liam checked with their hosts.

"I think that's a great idea," Louis stated. "Count me in. Harry?"

"Sounds good to me," Harry made the plan official.

Liam pointed his forks at first Niall's plate, then Harry's and Louis'. "You guys need to catch up then."

Niall hastily took another bite of ziti. Through his mouthful, he declared, "I'm already on it."

                                    *                                  *                                  *

With the exception of a few tiny scares--mostly Harry scaring himself when he thought the baby should be kicking, but she wasn't--they made it the three weeks from their dinner with Niall and Liam to reach Week Forty. Baby Girl Tomlinson-Styles was full-term.

As if she knew when she was expected, just after midnight, the official start of the 8th of May, Harry woke to his first labour pain. Sensing it wasn't Braxton Hicks, or false labour, he shook Louis awake.

By now, Louis was used to being awoken at all times of the night by Harry for one thing or another, sometimes a concern, sometimes just a craving, sometimes just to share a particularly strong session of inside-his-belly football practise. He had learned to be alert quickly for whatever it was, so when Harry woke him up at 12:07 a.m., Louis was instantly awake and asking Harry what was wrong.

"Contraction," Harry told him. "First one."

"Have you had another?" Louis wanted to know.

Harry shook his head. "Not yet."

"So, do you think it's time for hospital yet?" Keeping his eyes on Harry, he began to reach in the direction of the light switch on his bedside lamp.

Harry shook his head again. "I don't think so. My waters haven't broken, and I think the contractions need to be a lot closer together before we go in."

Louis pulled his hand back from the lamp, leaving it off. "Then maybe we can get a little more sleep."

"Don't know if I can, but I'll try," Harry said.

Louis shifted himself to lay back down, pulling Harry in so they were spooning. Louis rested a hand on Harry's bump, hoping he'd perhaps be able to feel it when Harry had another contraction.

He wasn't awake long enough for that to happen, though; he was way too tired to stay up. Fortunately, he felt and heard Harry fall asleep first. Harry would need all the rest he could get. If he was, indeed, in labour, it was going to be a long day.

The next time Harry woke him up, the LED on the alarm clock read 7:08.

Harry was sitting up, a hand on each side of his bump. "My waters just broke, and the contractions are about ten minutes apart."

"Hospital time?" Louis checked. There was no need to reach for the light this time. The spring sun was already streaming through the windows.

"Hospital time," Harry confirmed.

They both got dressed quickly, and Louis grabbed the backpack Harry had filled with everything he might need at the hospital--for himself and for the baby.

It was a Wednesday morning, but early enough in the rush hour that it didn't take too long to arrive at the hospital parking lot. When they had done this with Amelia, they had gone in through A&E. This time, they went in through the main entrance to ask for Harry to be admitted for labour and delivery.

It wasn't too long before they were able to arrange a room for Harry, and while the nurses were settling Harry in and their personal obstetrician was being paged, Louis placed quick calls to his mum and Harry's mum to let them know what was happening. Both of them told Louis they would get there as soon as they could.

In a stroke of luck Louis hoped followed them through this whole process, the obstetrician on call at the hospital was Dr. Bartlett, the same obstetrician who had delivered Amelia. She was happy to see them and said she would be pleased to examine Harry and take care of him until Dr. Feldman could hopefully get there. She'd been so amazing the last time that Harry and Louis told her they were thrilled it could be her watching over Harry and their new baby girl.

The first thing Dr. Bartlett did was check Harry to see how dilated he was. She announced that he was already five centimetres dilated, halfway to where he needed to be to push. Next, she had a nurse called Heather go to fetch the ultrasound machine.

Harry had a contraction while they were waiting for the nurse to return, but it was manageable and not too painful. Yet.

Louis was struck by an incredible sense of déjà vu when Dr. Bartlett squeezed gel onto Harry's belly and lifted her wand to check out the baby. Harry must have felt some déjà vu, too, as he grabbed for Louis' hand, and Louis heard him pull in a breath and hold it. Louis found himself doing the same.

Dr. Bartlett must have heard Harry haul in a breath, too. Before she placed the wand down on Harry's stomach, Dr. Bartlett said, "I want you to relax. I remember last year, too, but this is a new baby, and I don't expect anything to be wrong here. You both need to breathe."

It was clear that the doctor wasn't going to go any further until Harry and Louis followed her directions. Almost simultaneously, they released the breaths they were holding and forced themselves to breathe normally.

"Excellent," Dr. Bartlett praised. "There's enough natural stress in labour and delivery. No need to add more. Now, let's check out how your girl is doing."

The doctor finally pressed the wand to Harry's bump. It did not take long for a smile to appear on her face. "I see a good strong heartbeat."

Louis and Harry's smiles were even bigger than Dr. Bartlett's.

"She's dropped, and she's in a perfect heads-down birthing position," the doctor declared. "Everything looks good to go. You just need to power through the rest of labour."

"He's got this," Louis assured her. He grinned at Harry and squeezed the hand he was still holding.

As Nurse Heather handed Harry a cloth to clean off the gel from the ultrasound, Dr. Bartlett looked to Harry and continued, "I'm going to get Heather to bring in a foetal monitor so we can keep up with the little one and your contractions. Okay?"

Harry nodded. "Okay."

"I'll leave Heather to it, then," she said. "I'll be around, and I'll come in to check on you in just a bit to see how you're progressing. Press the call button just next to the bed if you need anything."

"Thanks," Louis told her.

"See you soon." With that, the doctor left to tend to her other patients.

When Heather left to get a foetal monitor, Harry and Louis were alone for the first time since getting to hospital.

"How're you doing, babe?" Louis asked, letting go of Harry's hand and sitting down on the edge of the bed so he could be face-to-face with his husband.

"I'm okay," Harry answered. "It hurts, but it's not too bad yet."

"You're doing great so far." Louis leaned forward to give Harry a congratulatory kiss.

"Thanks." Harry squirmed to try to get comfortable. "Were you able to reach our mums?"

"Yup. They're both on the way. Unless this one--" he placed one hand on either side of Harry's swollen belly, "--decides to make a sudden entrance, they should both make it in time."

"Did you call Gemma?" Harry wondered aloud.

"You mum said she would," Louis said. "I imagine she'll be here pretty soon."

A contraction overtook Harry just then, and he scrabbled for Louis' hand. Louis gave it over willingly and tried not to wince as Harry gripped it tightly, his face scrunching up as he rode the wave of pain.

When the contraction had passed, Harry drew in a deep breath. "That was stronger than any I've had so far."

"You got through it, though," Louis pointed out. "Like a champ."

In what might be considered good timing, Nurse Heather reappeared at that moment with the foetal monitor, enlisting Louis to help get Harry situated. In no time, the monitor was all set up, and after some quick training, Louis knew what to look for, and Heather left them alone again.

"It's really happening," Louis declared. "She's coming."

Harry blew out a slow breath in an effort, Louis knew, to centre himself. "I can feel it, and I can hardly believe it."

"Before we know it, we're going to get to hold her." Louis absolutely couldn't wait.

Dr. Bartlett came back at that juncture, much sooner than they expected.

"Is something wrong?" Harry immediately asked. Louis couldn't imagine what. It wasn't like they'd done any tests they were waiting for.

"Dr. Feldman can't get here. She has the flu," she explained.

Harry and Louis exchanged a look of concern.

Dr. Bartlett smiled in sympathy. "I know that's disappointing, but I want you to know I'm here, and I'm ready to help you bring your baby into the world."

Harry nodded. "You were very kind when Amelia was born. We'd be honoured to have you deliver this little girl, too."

She turned to Louis to see what he thought, raising her eyebrows in question.

"Works for me," Louis concurred.

"Excellent," the doctor said, smiling widely. "I'll be back to check on you in just a bit, then. Don't forget to ring the nurses' station if there are any problems."

"Right," Harry said, his breath tightening as he felt another contraction moving in.

"Hang in there," Dr, Bartlett advised. "Both of you."

"We will," they replied.

Once she was gone, it was all about waiting.

The contractions had gotten a little closer and Harry was about six and half centimetres dilated by the time Gemma arrived. By the time Jay got there--a surprise Lottie in tow--Harry was seven centimetres, and by the time Anne got there at around eleven a.m., he was eight and a half centimetres. He'd decided to forego drugs. He wanted to feel every moment of the birth without anything to dull the experience.

"Nine centimetres. I imagine you'll be pushing in another hour or two," Dr. Bartlett predicted when she came for one of her periodic check-ups. Looking Harry right in the eye, she told him, "Just try to remain calm and breathe."

"Okay." He had to put her orders right into practise as another contraction rolled over him.

"I'll be back in a bit," the doctor promised before she left again.

"How're you doing, baby?" Anne asked from her position on the opposite side of the bed from where Louis alternately stood and sat.

>

"I'm anxious to meet her," Harry responded.

"Won't be long now," Jay chimed in. She and Lottie had stationed themselves next to Louis, where they could offer both Louis and Harry moral support. "Nine centimetres is so close."

"Since you're waiting for her to get here to give her a name, this seems a good time to remind you that Gemma is a beautiful name," Gemma interjected. She sat next to Anne nursing her third cup of tea.

There were laughs all around, and Harry told her, "We'll keep that in mind."

"Charlotte's a good name, too," Lottie shared her two pence with a grin. "Gemma Charlotte. Charlotte Gemma. Either one could work."

"We'll keep that in mind, too," Harry went on, adding, "You are both going to be great aunties."

"I can't wait to spoil her," Gemma confessed. "Whether or not she's named after me."

"Same here," Lottie said. "I am excellent at spoiling young girls."

"You are most definitely an expert," Louis agreed.

Gemma offered her fist to Lottie over Harry's belly. Lottie bumped it enthusiastically as Gemma asserted, "We're going to rock, Lots."

"That we are."

Another contraction caused Harry to hiss and grab for Louis' hand, squeezing so tightly it turned Louis' knuckles white. Impervious to his own pain, Louis stood and counted Harry through his pain, urging him to breathe.

When it was over, Harry loosened his grip on Louis' hand and confessed, "That one hurt just a little."

As Louis flexed his hand, he commented, "I'd guess it did."

Harry winced as he looked up at Louis. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. This is what I signed up for," Louis reminded him. "And you can even have it back on the next one."

Harry smiled. "Thanks."

Not one minute later, Louis had to make good on his vow and give his hand back over for Harry to squeeze on through another incredibly strong contraction that left Harry practically breathless.

The fact that these contractions were strong enough and close enough together to steal Harry's breath had Louis on the verge of calling the nurses' station to have them contact Dr. Bartlett. His finger was poised to press the button when the doctor appeared on the scene of her own volition.

"How's it going in here?" she inquired, her tone light and calming.

Harry gazed over at her with eyes brimming with tears of pain. "I need to push," he informed her plainly.

"Well, let's see if you're dilated enough to do that," she said, moving to the end of the bed to check Harry out. Louis was not at all shocked when the doctor reported, "Ten centimetres. Let's work on getting your little girl out here.

"So, who's staying and who's going?" Dr. Bartlett wanted to know.

This was Harry's decision to make. Cautiously, he appraised the family gathered around him. "Can everyone stay? Does everyone want to stay?"

"If you want us here, we're here," Anne answered, speaking on behalf of all the ladies in the room.

"Please," Harry said.

Louis had claimed the side of the bed to Harry's left, so Anne took a position to her son's right. Gemma, Jay, and Lottie stood back far enough to give everyone space, but close enough to see and to offer aid, if needed.

Dr. Bartlett spoke up again. "Now that's settled, let's get you ready for delivery, Harry."

Harry's hair was already up in a messy sort-of-bun, as he had felt too hot the second hour they were at the hospital. Now, though, he asked Louis to help him take his t-shirt--already hiked up to expose his stomach--all the way off. Once Louis had done that, he got Harry situated, legs apart, near the end of the bed so Dr. Bartlett could assist in the delivery. As soon as Heather got the foetal monitor sorted so it wouldn't restrict Harry's movements and Louis stationed himself where he could help Harry the most, it was go time.

"On the next contraction, go ahead and give a big push, Harry," Dr. Bartlett commanded.

That next contraction came just a minute later, and Harry put all of his might into pushing as hard as he could.

When the contraction passed, the doctor said, "Great job, Harry. Just like that on the next contraction."

Louis helped hold Harry's left knee gently back while Anne did the same with Harry's right knee. As the next contraction rolled through Harry, he pushed as hard as he could.

Harry's breaths shuddered when that contraction ended.

"You're doing so great, love," Louis told him, filled with pride. Harry was going through this immense pain and enormous effort for a second time to try again to expand their family. Louis could not have loved him more.

"Keep going exactly how you are, Harry," Dr. Bartlett urged. "You're making progress with every push."

Harry nodded and drew in a shaky deep breath to get ready for the next contraction.

Just as the doctor had instructed, Harry powered through contraction after contraction for twenty minutes, pushing hard to get their baby girl out. Louis kept a supportive hand at Harry's back and shared encouraging words every moment he could. Anne did the same from her side of the bed, as did Gemma, Jay, and Lottie--even if Lottie was a little green around the gills from the birthing realness.

Out of the blue, during one particularly strong contraction, Harry stole Louis' hand, squeezed tight, and screamed.

"She's crowning!" Dr. Bartlett announced, succinctly explaining Harry's reaction.

"Is she okay?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Everything's looking great," the doctor assured him. "Now, I want gentle pushes here so I can guide her head out. Okay?"

Harry nodded and followed her instructions to the letter. With each push, he practiced some measured breathing as he gently pushed to deliver the baby's head.

Louis stepped forward just enough that he was able to watch as their little girl's head emerged from Harry's body. She had a cap of dark hair, full cheeks, bowed lips, and eyes that were closed. Louis couldn't help but think she looked a lot like Amelia, but he shifted the sad memory to the back of his mind to take in this moment, when his second daughter was born.

It was Louis who declared, "Her head's out!"

"I can tell." Harry sucked in yet another deep breath, exhaling slowly, gearing up for the final pushes.

"All right, Harry. Bear down as hard as you can," Dr. Bartlett directed. "Get those shoulders out."

Harry gave one extraordinary push, then another, his face red with the effort of using every last bit of energy he had. Finally, miraculously, the baby's shoulders were out and the rest of her slid into Dr. Bartlett's hands.

For a second, there was no sound, just as there had been the last time, and Louis' heart nearly stopped. Then it was started again by a lusty cry as the doctor and nurse gave the wailing baby a cursory cleaning before passing her up through Harry's legs and into Harry's arms.

"Congratulations, gentlemen. It's a gorgeous baby girl."

Dr. Bartlett didn't seem to mind that Louis barely even heard what she said, so focused was he on the beautiful newborn calming on Harry's chest.

"Look at her, Louis." Harry entreated.

As if Louis could take his eyes off of her. "She's amazing, love. Just like you. I'm so amazed at all you went through to get her here. Love you so much." Louis kissed Harry's forehead before refocusing his gaze back on their baby girl. He reached a finger out to caress her soft, warm cheek, taking it as proof she was really there at last.

Harry and Louis stared at her in awe and wonder for a few long moments. She lay fairly tranquilly on Harry's chest, but her dark blue eyes were wide open, and she stared back into Louis' eyes. Her little chest heaved with the effort it had taken to force herself into the world. She was the best thing Louis had ever seen.

Louis was torn from his reverie as Dr. Bartlett asked, "Louis, would you like to cut the cord?"

"Yes." Louis took the scissors the doctor offered and cut in the spot she indicated.

Once the baby was untethered from Harry, Dr. Bartlett quickly helped Harry deliver the placenta, then Harry and Louis were free to go back to admiring their daughter.

"What should we call her?" Harry whispered, tearing his eyes away from the baby to look to his husband.

"I think you should name her," Louis said. "You did all the work. Was there a name you liked the best?"

Harry looked back down at their baby girl, then nodded. "I'd like to call her Grace."

Louis smiled. "That was on my list, too. And for a middle name?"

"I was thinking Amelia, after her sister," Harry revealed, his voice still soft. "What do you think?"

"Grace Amelia Tomlinson-Styles," Louis tried out the whole moniker. "I think it's perfect."

"Do you want to hold her?" Harry inquired.

"Very much."

Harry lifted her off his chest, and Louis took a hold of her, blanket and all, to cradle her in his arms. "Hi there, Grace, my beautiful girl. Daddy and I are so happy you're here."

Grace continued to look up at him, as if trying to suss him out. Louis smiled down at her.

It was at this moment that Louis remembered that he and Harry were not alone in the room with the baby. When he lifted his gaze, he found his mum, Harry's mum, Lottie, and Gemma all watching him hold Grace, fond looks on every one of their faces.

Nurse Heather was also there. "Can I take her for just a couple minutes? We have a few quick tests, and I can get her all cleaned up."

Reluctantly, Louis nodded and handed the baby over. "Just a couple minutes," he pleaded with the nurse to keep her promise.

"Absolutely," she said before carrying Grace away.

Louis shifted his attention to Harry then. Another nurse, one who must have appeared while Louis and Harry were bonding with their baby, helped get Harry cleaned up and then propped up back at the head of the bed.

Harry was properly settled when Heather brought Grace back. She was all cleaned up and wrapped in a fresh blanket, a tiny white hat on her head. As the nurse handed Grace back to Harry, she reported, "She weighs seven pounds and nine ounces, and she passed all our initial tests."

"Thanks," Harry told her as he held Grace close.

"We'll get a bottle ready in a little bit," Heather went on. "Until then, just enjoy her."

"We will," Louis assured her.

When the nurse backed away, Anne, Jay, Gemma, and Lottie closed in to get a better look at baby Grace.

"She's gorgeous, boys," Gemma was first to say.

"Look at that perfect nose," Jay commented. "It's just like yours, boo."

"That mouth, though, that's all Harry," Anne interjected.

"Would you like to hold her?" Harry asked his mother.

"Can I?" Anne returned eagerly.

Harry lifted her up, and Louis moved over enough that Anne could take her granddaughter in her arms. Grace cried a little as she was taken away from her dad, but she soon settled as Anne cuddled her close.

Everyone got a turn to hold baby Grace, each as reluctant as the last to give her up. Finally, she was back in Louis' arms. It was just about this time that Nurse Heather came back with the bottle she'd promised earlier.

"Ready to try to feed her?" Heather asked brightly.

"We'll go down to get a late lunch," Jay announced. "It'll be much easier to feed her without all of us hovering."

"Good idea," Anne agreed, reaching for her handbag.

"We'll pick up something to eat for you both," Jay added.

"Thanks, Mum," Louis said. "You're the best."

Jay reached a hand down to cup Grace's head. "See you soon, baby girl."

Jay and Anne and their respective daughters left the room, leaving their sons to the task of giving Grace her first bottle.

"So, which of you wants to try first?" Heather questioned the new fathers.

Louis and Harry exchanged a look, after which, Harry shrugged. "You do it, Louis. I'll get the next one."

"Okay." In a move borne of years of experience with his much younger siblings, Louis got Grace into a good feeding position. Then he took the bottle the nurse offered him.

It took Grace a minute or two, but eventually, Louis got her to take the nipple and drink the formula like a tiny champ. "Good girl," Louis praised her. "Look at her, Harry."

Harry had barely taken his eyes off her since Heather had brought her back from her tests. "You're both doing so great."

"She's a natural." Louis lifted her gently to burp her.

When she'd finished her bottle, Louis passed Grace back over to Harry, who took her impatiently--she had been out of his arms for too long. She checked him out for a few minutes, then fell asleep, tired from the couple hours of being born, being passed around, and eating.

Louis and Harry continued to watch the baby closely, hardly able to process the fact that she was finally here, alive and well. It was, after all, a dream come true.

                                    *                                  *                                  *

Their first night as a family of three went pretty well. The ladies in their life stayed right up to the end of visiting hours, then they left Harry and Louis alone with the newest lady in their life.

Louis stayed the night, so they divvied up the labour. Since Louis wasn't the one recovering from delivering a baby and was, thus, more mobile, he was in charge of nappies. This left Harry in charge of feeding, which was good, since it gave him the bonding time he really needed with Grace.

They had nurses checking in on them at various intervals, and they asked some questions, but for the most part, they worked on Louis' knowledge about babies and pure instinct, which seemed to serve them well.

By morning, when Anne and Jay arrived to escort their sons and granddaughter home--where Gemma and Lottie would meet them with food--Harry and Louis were more than ready to get Grace home.

After dressing Grace in a darling pink onesie, they collected the items they'd brought with them and repacked them into the duffle bag. Once they'd signed Harry and Grace out, a nurse brought a wheelchair, and father and baby enjoyed an escorted ride to the front of the hospital.

Luckily, they had planned ahead, and the car seat they had researched and purchased was already set up in the back seat of Louis' car, so all they had to do was strap Grace in, and they were set to go. Harry rode in the back next to her. Just in case. Jay and Anne would follow in Jay's car.

When they got to the house, they not only found Gemma and Lottie, but Niall and Liam as well. Louis had sent a group text out the previous day announcing Grace's arrival, so neither Louis nor Harry was entirely surprised by their presence.

"We hope it's okay we're here," Liam said as they followed Louis--carrying Grace now--and Harry into the lounge. "We just couldn't wait a minute longer to meet our honorary niece."

"It's fine," Harry assured them, sitting down on the sofa. He was definitely still a little sore from the delivery the day before. "We're excited to introduce you."

"She just needs a bottle and a nappy change first, then you two can take turns holding her," Louis added.

"I'll handle the nappy change," Anne offered, reaching to take Grace from Louis' arms.

"I'll get her bottle ready," Jay stated. "You two just sit and relax."

"I won't argue," Louis was quick to respond. "I'll take the rest while I can."

"Me, too," Harry concurred.

While their mums were tending to the baby's needs, Louis collapsed next to Harry.

Niall and Liam both claimed easy chairs before Liam said, "So, Harry, how are you feeling?"

Harry sighed. "Exhausted, but happy. It was definitely an experience, but she's totally worth it."

Liam grinned. "I'll bet."

"So, Grace Amelia, eh?" Niall stated, almost as if for the record. "I know who the Amelia is for, but how did you decide on Grace?"

With a shrug, Louis explained, "It just felt right. After all, it was kind of grace that brought her here."

"Well, it's a beautiful name," Niall complimented.

"Thanks," Harry accepted.

Being the experts that they were, Anne soon had Grace freshly diapered, and Jay produced a warm bottle for Harry to feed her.

Just like she had done the night before, Grace took the whole bottle, and Louis couldn't help but think they'd gotten the best baby ever.

Once Grace was fed, Liam and Niall did a quick Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would get to hold Grace first. Niall won, and he eagerly took the baby from Harry, returning to his seat so he could cuddle her for a while.

"Hi there, Gracie," he said to the sleepy baby. "I'm your Uncle Niall. We are going to have the best times. Louis will teach you football, and Harry will teach you to sing. I will teach you how to play guitar and how to get away with all the stuff you need to need to get away with. I am an expert at that."

All three of his bandmates laughed at that. After all, Niall could get away with murder.

"You're a beautiful girl," Niall went on. "Your daddies have waited a long time for you to get here. You're very lucky indeed."

Out of the corner of his eye, Louis saw that Harry was getting a little teary at Niall's words. If he was honest, he was feeling a little weepy himself. Every word Niall said was true.

Liam eventually declared that it was his turn. Even though Grace had fallen asleep while Niall held her, she roused when she was moved into someone else's arms. She cried a tiny bit, but Liam quickly began to try soothing her.

"There, there, little one, it's okay," Liam assured her. "I'm your Uncle Liam, and you're very safe with me." Miraculously, his voice seemed to be like magic. She calmed down and closed her eyes, falling asleep again.

"She's gorgeous, lads," Liam told them, his voice soft in deference to the sleeping Grace. "Well done."

Harry and Louis both grinned. "Thanks."

Liam and Niall stayed just a little bit longer; then, knowing Harry and Louis would want to try to start settling into a routine as soon as possible, they left, promising they'd be back soon for more Gracie Time, as Niall called it.

Anne, Jay, Gemma, and Lottie stayed a little bit longer, helping out with Grace where they could, and just generally fussing over their granddaughter and niece. After an early tea, though, they departed, too. They would all be around for a few more days, but Harry and Louis had insisted they do at least the first night at home on their own, just to see how it went.

For the first part of the evening, they had Grace sleep in a bassinette they had bought the week before, tempting fate by buying something they knew they would need. By nine o'clock, however, Harry had fed her and Louis had changed her, and they decided to call it a night. Or as much a night as they could call it when they'd be up a few times in the wee hours to feed the baby.

Grace was awake when Harry sat down in the rocker with her, the lights in the room dim. She was wrapped in Jay's soft, white embroidered blanket. Louis stood right behind the chair, still blown away that they finally had the baby they'd been dreaming of for so long.

Harry looked up at the wall, right at the spot where Callie had painted the brown-haired, blue-eyed angel up among the flowers and butterflies on the wall.

"Look, Grace," Harry said seriously, pointing as if she would see. "That's Amelia. She's your big sister. She lives in Heaven, but she'll be watching over you everywhere you go. She'll keep you safe and, if you're really lucky, she'll share secrets with you. I know she wanted to be here with you, but she couldn't stay."

Louis could tell Harry wanted to say more, but he was too overcome with tears to do so. So he took over. "She'll always be your big sister, though, and she'll always love you. Just maybe not as much as we do."

Harry recovered himself enough to add, "We do love you bunches and bunches and bunches."

The lull of their voices had put Grace to sleep, so Harry carefully stood up and lay her down in her cot for the very first time, handing Louis the blanket to hang on the end. He bent down to kiss her forehead. "Sweet dreams, baby girl."

Louis kissed her, too, then grabbed Harry's hand to walk him from the room. They stopped in the doorway, however, to take one more look at Grace, slumbering right under the painted angel.

"Our two angels," Louis whispered.

Harry leaned forward to kiss him. "Thank you for going through all of this with me."

Louis grinned widely. "I'm only just getting started."

End (16 February 2018)


End file.
